i am going crazy i hate that he did this to us. i cant even talk to him at night.  he came here last night i gave him so more of his stuff and he had to leave by 9:30 this is not a marriage it is a joke. we have no where to go so we hang out in a car. i am so trying to make the best of this but it hurts so much. i really do miss him. but how long is this going to take. i mean it would be easier if i could talk to him . but i am not alloud to call his house or the cell what i are  we ten . his mom is  a bitc_ unfortunatly we have to live by her rules. but its killing me. i am so angry. he is very depressed i am so afraid that hes going to slip i just hope he is not that stupid. my brother made the decision for me that he does not want him  back in the house but   i dont know how much more i can take this. it really sucks still havent slept good finally fell a sleep and the phone rings at 2:00 am my daughters boyfriend i wanted to kill him i told her no more late calls. please any advise for me would be appreciated  since he burned our bank account we have to be appart i know its teaching him a lesson but why do i have to be punished too.

Chrissy stay strong remember the 3 C's.  You can do it.  If he slips up it his choice.    Give yourself time to adjust without him around and take one step at a time.  Your higher power is watching over you.

chrissy i was exactly in yoru spot with my marriage,   not this last one...but the first one!!!!!  he blew all our money.....treatd me like crap!!!!! so i left!!!!   i had no place/   no one/   nothing to turn to....finally i ended up staying with a friend.....i just   **x'd him out of my life*  and hunkered down to take care of me....

i got a job ,  saved up my $$$ and  sure, i talked with my "A"  and i even temporarily went back to him...but i had my OWN bank acct....i had my OWN car   ( i did some acctg work for a lady and she gave me this nice little car)    in a couple of short months being separated from him....i learned  and this was before the 12 steps......i learned that i had to take care of me.......my own money...my own car.....his name on the lease so if he screwed up it wasn't on me....i even managed to get a small visa account....MY name only on it.......i had nothing with him....he bitched but i  said  "you are not bringing me down again"    bottom line??? the marriage did not work, cause i had become even more hardened/  more distrusting of people/  more bitter with life/god/ even me....so we split....lesson learned????  and it wouldn't come for years afterwards, and one more relationship,  failed,  afterwards .....that lesson was   "heal me/ love me/"    change me/  change my perspective of  god  of life   of me.....and it will be more on stable ground........take care of me..... getting into recovery saved me......i have no relationships now and that is ok....i am  **shaking hands with me*   and  IF there is someone , and IF we  hook up together,   i stand a chance of this working because    1--- i am heathy now........2----hp will have sent it  (turned my life/will over..step 3)  and  3--- i can take care of/ keep the focus on me...........before i did not stand a chance....i was too dysfunctional  with me/god/life  for anything to be meaningful.........plese take what works and leave the rest/ rosie

i know its teaching him a lesson but why do i have to be punished too I know it's hard, but is there any way for you to look at this as an opportunity, rather than a punishment? A chance to spend some time with yourself, taking care of yourself, and to mend your relationship with your daughter, without the distraction of your husband being there. Whether he sobers up or not, whether things with him get better or not, you still have to live with yourself, no matter what. The more comfortable you are with yourself, the happier you will be.

you are so right i guess i am being childish for being so depressed. well  anywasy my daughter has a party tonight i am suppose to see my a but i think i would rather sleep and spend time with him tomorrow.