As I mentioned yesterday afternoon I knew it was possible that yesterday I may have been put in hospital for a couple of days to get my electrolytes in order and my hubs had given me his "word" as a man, so to speak that he would be home for the kids, sober. ( as opposed to promises from him which mean nothing! ) Well, he has progressed to the point where now his word of honour as a man mean nothing either. Am I surprised? No I didn't have to go in hospital, doc felt I should be able to up my salt intake and do it at home. So home I went, and found hubs at the table surrounded by his liquid friends, both empty and full. I felt surprisingly neutral. However, had it happened that the doc had put me in the hospital and I called home and found this out, I doubt that neutral would have been what I felt! I had told my two boys about what was going on with the doc and assured them that if I was in the hospital for a couple of days, dad was going to be sober. So now, I'll have to talk to them later today.( and if it happens that I have to be put in hosp later, eg a week to 10 days, doc says, if things don't "smarten up", then I'll have to make other arrangements for the boys while I'm gone ) I was in such bad shape when I saw the Dr., that he was just as concerned about my mental state as my low sodium levels. My Dr. is a dear man, as well as a very well respected Dr. in the area. One of his specialties in training and previous clinics has been treating addictions and depression etc. He is also a devout Christian. After I told him what has been going on at home, even he asked me why I was still with my A. ..... which really surprised me, even though he asked me about him with great care and love. ( hubs has been a patient of his too, and he would be more than happy to help him if hubs was willing ) The Dr. also told me that a great majority of my symptoms are related to severe stress, not a surprise, he and I have been working on this stress thing for quite some time now. So, no more tapering down on my antidepressant for now! which I had been hoping to do, I want to get off those things. For now, he told me to up the dosage a tiny bit and let things level off and then, once more I can start tapering down when I have settled somewhat. It's not what I wanted to do, but I think it's the best for now. I know I have to do something, the strain is affecting every part of my physical and mental being. I have to do everything I can for myself, and the kids, I know that.

Hi hope you are feeling better.  Staying neutral was great.  Your A probably thought you weren't coming home so perfect opportunity to get stuck into it.  If you do go into hospital make alternate arrangements.  You will not get complete rest if you are worrying about the kids with their Dad at home. Could you organise something with the kids grandparents?  I am new here so I am not sure how old your kids are but it would probably be a treat for them to stay and be spoilt by Grandma and Grandpa.  That way you could concentrate on the health of the most important person which is you. Luv Leo

Hey, thanks Leo.... Actually I think I would get my boys to stay at my cousin's place, they are close by and they love going there. ( also could get on the same school bus from there ) Grandparents sound great, but they just have one Grandpa left and he's way over yonder in Ontario. If he were closer, he would love to have them for a few days! But you are right, they will have to go somewhere else where I know they will be ok so I won't have to worry about them. Faith

Hi Faith,

I agree with Leo about having the boys stay somewhere else if you have to go into hospital. Hopefully you can avoid the hospital altogether.

Assuring your boys that their dad would stay sober in the future is probably not the greatest idea, it's just not reality.

I let a lot of stuff go with my a, but when it comes to the safety/security of my children I draw the line.

Take care and good luck. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.