Well lately things haven't been going so great. I've been trying real hard.. going to f2f meetings, online meetings and chat, posting things and reading literature.  I've been listening to everyone and trying to take it all in.  I really felt that I was going somewhere but recently things have been changing and going downhill.

It feels like I've been living in one giant panic attack.  They come and they go but they are getting a lot more overwhelming... more than I can deal with.... too much past I am told.

My present situation with my A seems basically unchanged.  He is still in a state of denial... so life isn't really great with him.  It seem like my relationship with him is worse since I started using boundries.  Right now were like 2 strangers in the night.

I can't take care of the kids in a constant state of painc.... it just doesn't work.  During my attacks my head is floating... my vision gets fuzzy.... and my brain just shuts down.... not to mention my hear rate goes wild and I can't breath right.

I really beleive in my heart that Alanon can help me but I don't know if I am stong enough to do it.  I know that I am in control of where my future lies but I first need to get through the present.  I've been working on one minute at a time and that does help me get by a lot of the time.

I'm so confused and tired.  Tired of fighting my A, tired of being down and panicy.  I'm confused about my future.

What will I do next?  Where will I go?

Hopefully I have a good stong HP that will grip me and guide me back here and give me some strength.

(((sandie))) First off...I COMPLETELY CAN RELATE! I suffer from anxiety and recently had to go to the doctor and put on medication for it. When stressed I get VERY tired...almost as if I am narcoleptic (sp?) and have the hardest time fighting falling asleep wherever I am. My mind is very "busy"...and no matter what I do I can't seem to quiet it down. I am right on the edge of feeling like I am going to come unglued. My patience is shot, I am irritable at the smallest of things and I feel downright blah. My doc explained to me that sometimes our bodies, when we are under lots of stress, don't produce enough seratonin in our brains. I'm not diagnosing you, but speaking from someone who suffers from anxiety due to stressful times in my life, seeking medical attention has really helped. It makes the day to day life easier...even makes working the Program easier for me when now my body is cooperating. Just a thought........you may want to check into it.

 

I know how you feel.... Things seem so out of control sometimes.  I agree with what was already said.. Make a Dr. apt go and talk about how you are feelng she if he can suggest anything that might help.  Then go away for a few days.. RELAX dont worry about anyone or anything.. Farm the kids out ( just a figure of speach ) just for the weekend.. Do something for you..

This rollercoaster ride is very difficult.. It takes a lot out of a person..

Tammy

 

** I will say a prayer for you ..:) 

It's okay to go see the doctor.  I remember years ago going to the doctor when I was suffering from severe depression and having panic attacks, had been for months.  The doctor asked me why I waited so long.  I told him I thought I could handle it.  He told me that sometimes we can't handle everything ourselves and it was okay to ask for help.  The RX's he wrote me helped me through some difficult times. 

Hugs Mary

i too suffer from panic attacks and agree with the others to seek medical attention meds arent bad they really help. until you can manage alone take them then get off them later