Yes, I did know my husband for three years before we married, and yes, he did neglect to tell me that he was a recovering alcoholic. I think your word, "recovered" is a word I do not use. He lived in England you see, so our f2f meetings were not on a daily basis. We would see one another every three or four months for just a few days. He did not tell me, according to him, because he thought it was a non-issure after 25 years. A mistake, we both agree. But do not be perplexed and do not continue to wonder what is wrong with this picture. These kinds of things happen. We are a couple with a terrific amount of respect and love for one another; this man is a law-abiding citizen and a grandl individual otherwise. I would wonder why you say it is no wonder he replapsed. None of us are perfect. These things happen. We pick up and go on. What else can I say? Diva
UncleLou said
Sep 28, 2005
Diva,
I certainly meant no disrespect. And I certainly did not judge you or him as a human beings. The word 'recovered' is not mine, it is used (as pointed out to me by my sponsor) numerous times in the Big Book. I have been working very hard and consider myself in recovery, not recovered (yet). I have been taking my program of recovery very seriously, and have been listening to people who have a lot of time in the program. From what I have learned, I don't think I will ever have enough years in recovery to ever consider withholding the fact that I am an alcoholic to those close to me a non- issue. I certainly wasn't aware of how often you saw each other those first three years. This is a very personal issue and I may have stepped out of line with my comment. Everyone is intitled to run their own program as they see fit. I guess I am sensitive to this stuff right now. I'm feeling especially vulnerable because of everything going on in my life right now. I'm afraid of this disease and what I know it can do to me. For myself, I see that if I'm not careful about my humility and honesty, I am putting my sobriety in jeopardy. I'm sorry if I worded my thoughts in any way that you considered offensive.
Lou
-- Edited by UncleLou at 17:25, 2005-09-28
Diva said
Sep 28, 2005
No, no Lou. I was not offended at all. I know you are facing unpleasant issues, and I understand that, and always keep you close in my prayers. But I wanted you to realize my situation so that you would better understand where I am coming from as well.
All my best wishes, Diva
Diva,
I certainly meant no disrespect. And I certainly did not judge you or him as a human beings. The word 'recovered' is not mine, it is used (as pointed out to me by my sponsor) numerous times in the Big Book. I have been working very hard and consider myself in recovery, not recovered (yet). I have been taking my program of recovery very seriously, and have been listening to people who have a lot of time in the program. From what I have learned, I don't think I will ever have enough years in recovery to ever consider withholding the fact that I am an alcoholic to those close to me a non- issue. I certainly wasn't aware of how often you saw each other those first three years. This is a very personal issue and I may have stepped out of line with my comment. Everyone is intitled to run their own program as they see fit. I guess I am sensitive to this stuff right now. I'm feeling especially vulnerable because of everything going on in my life right now. I'm afraid of this disease and what I know it can do to me. For myself, I see that if I'm not careful about my humility and honesty, I am putting my sobriety in jeopardy. I'm sorry if I worded my thoughts in any way that you considered offensive.
Lou
-- Edited by UncleLou at 17:25, 2005-09-28