This morning my ex was looking at my son's wrist which was swollen from a dirt bike accident yesterday. I heard them discussing going to the doctor and asked if I could do anything. My ex got real angry with me and said in front of my son, "I don't want anything from you, I don't want you involved, stay out of this, I take care of the whole thing myself" then added "D, do you want dad to take you, do you even want hin involved in this?" He said "I don't care, I just want to go to the doctor" I figured she was upset with me about the counciling appointment tonight, but didn't expect this kind of anger. My son asked if I could take him, so I called for an appointment. I calmly told my ex I can bring him to a job with me than take him to the appointment. Boy was she pissed off. She went to work and I took him with me.

X-rays showed my son did break his wrist.  I'm think I know why my ex is so angry with me. She told me that she's sick of me telling my family how she is not around for the kids and it's getting back to her. I'm not lying or making things up, I'm just running this stuff past my sponsor, therapist, and my family out of concern for my kids. I'm very concerned that with her work and gym and social schedule my kids will be left alone in the house just about every day from the time they get home from school at 2 or 3 till she gets home at 7 or 8 at night. They have friends in the house at these times and she sees no problem with it. Right now I'm working part time and I'm around the house until it's sold so I can be there for them some of the time. When she gets her own place and I'm back to work full time (hopefully soon) it looks like those kids are going to be unsupervised with their friends over way to much. This is a recipe for disaster, and she doesn't see a problem with it, she is blinded right now by her anger directed at me. I am in no way saying I'm perfect or know how to handle all this. That's why I'm looking for guidence. If she doesn't like what's getting back to her, isn't that a result of her behavior more than what I'm discussing these people? I also think that there is an enormous amount of guilt over the relationship with her boyfriend and the denials and lies she told everyone about it.

My son's broken bone is a really sore spot with her because she got him the motorcycles against my wishes. I have mixed feelings about them, not because of injuries like these, (I was especially calm and non judgemental about this) but because a more serious injury could lead to permanent disability or death. (This last accident could very easily been a disaster, he jumped his bike and landed on another kid riding. A few more inches in the wrong direction and...?) She got so angry because she didn't want to hear me or my family criticize her about it. Angry to the point of refusing my help in the situation and jeapordizing her work situation to take time off to take care of it just so I wouldn't be involved. That is not rational thinking. She's accusing me of telling these people lies and that's why she is afraid of me and won't talk to me. If anything, it is these other people who are observing her behavior and telling ME how inappropriate it is.

I need to stay calm and focused on just the facts tonight at the councelor's appointment tonight. I feel like I have made so much progress since I started my recovery, this is really painful to watch.

Lou

Lou, Sorry about your son's wrist. You were very lucky that it wasn't more serious. Her behavior has nothing to do with whether or not you discuss it with people. If she's so concerned what people think, then why hasn't her behavior changed? One would think that if people are thinking negatively about her, and she's heard about it, then her behavior would change for the better. True? You're doing great with your recovery. Two years! Wow! Good for you. It must be very painful to watch. But don't let it intefere with your recovery. Good luck tonight. Live strong, Karilynn P.S. Make sure to eat your cake. You deserve it!