i cant believe he took out more money and left the bank with $32.00 i am so messed up right now. sometimes i feel like this is hell you know i just cant take it how am i going to survive

---

So sorry to hear this is happening. Do you have anyone you can lean on just now? Your family? Or, if they will just be making you feel worse about yourself, get in touch with social services. There is no shame in it - HE is the one putting you in this position, you have done nothing wrong except to love someone. If you have already made contact with alanon in your community, now is the time to use that phone - nothing feels so good as to just pour it all out to a human ear, that really understands, and won't just say "Throw the bum out". If you haven't made contact yet, now is the time. Even if tonight is not meeting night, there may be a contact number in the phone book, or through the alanon or AA hotline. And, calm down (easy for me to say, I know). Panic doesn't help the situation. If there is food in the house, and the heat and lights are on, then you are not in desperate straits tonight. Cuddle your kid, make a nutritious meal together, go out and get some fresh air. If at all possible, get some sleep tonight. It will look different in the morning, you will find resources once you openyour self to hope. Come here and chat, if it makes you feel better. You will be OK, I know it.

You will survive this Chrissy... first thing is to breathe.... second thing, as tough as it is, is to focus on the facts & the "what is".  What do you need to do, to survive today/tonight??

One day at a time, can be broken down into one day, one hour, or even one minute - whatever size of manageable chunk you need right now....  You don't need to figure out how to survive "forever" right now..... think as far out as you are capable of focussing on right now, starting with the next 24hrs...  One foot in front of the other...

Reach out, and talk to those whom you trust...

Take care

Tom

I had the same problem with my husband.  I eventually had to open an account in my name only and have my direct deposits put into my account.  When his money went into the bank, I took out enough to pay the bills and put it in my account and left the rest.  This way, I was able to ensure the bills could be paid, but I was allowing him to do what he wanted with the rest. Afterall, not having a penny has never stopped the use before.  I am so sorry this happened to you.  It puts you in a bad position, but you can learn from this.  I became very adept at hiding money in places no one would think to look.

well, my a was also a problem gambler.

speaking from experience..i made a second bank account for the bill money, which i transfered into it on payday. this account was in my name only.  and that worked till i thought of the idea of having the bank transfer the funds on the date of the direct deposits..and they messed up..so dont do that..cause when they didnt transfer the money..i was up a certian creek.  if you can do this it is good for 2 reasons.. first if you need to get out..you will have an account and have credibility as yourself. and you will know the money is there..and how much.

now as to the immediate crunch, most churches have food banks and so do shelters and food kitchens.  if your power bill need paid..often they will make arrangements, and there are organizations to get it paid.  call your creditors and see what can be done.

i found when i was down and desperate things happened,,it is very hard to starve in out country,,and many folks are willing to help.

good luck to you and hang in there. 

get to face to face as much as you can..find a sponser, work the steps,, i promise you it will be okay..there IS an answer, (it may not be the one we thought we wanted),,there is a light at the end of the tunnel..if He brings you to it..he will bring you thru it.

thanks guys

 now there is eleven dollars in the bank i told my brother & he flipped out i rent from him but its hard to deal with. he said he does not want my husband back so no i am so torn. i will go to dss hopefully someone can help.

Chrissy, I wish I had the $10 grocery list when I was in your situation (years ago.)  Here's the link: http://www.budget101.com/$10_grocery_list.htm

It's very adaptable, and is meant more to spark your creativity and ingenuity than anything else. 

(Moderators, if it's not okay to post links, please feel free to delete it.  I'm new.)

 

i never new they had that thanks

Chrissy:

I know you have said in the past that you live nearby me.  I work in Human Services and can walk you through the systems in your area to get you assistance.  I would be happy to give you the referrals. You can apply for Social Services for immediate assistance with the rent (it is called a one shot deal) and they will pay your arrears, however they will only do it once in a year and you will have to be a month behind (they will not pay September until it is Oct).  In addition, if you are rejected by Social services for assistance..you can take your denial letter to the local parish outreach and ask for assistance.  They will not assist unless you have be denied help from Social Services. I have a list of food pantries in the area as well.  That's a start and will handle the immediate need. I know you are torn right now about what to do. Just take care of now.  Stay strong and get to a meeting. I will be here praying for you.

 

Kim 

((((((Chrissy))))))))))))))

I wish we lived close so I could give you a hug in person.  Have you read the book and workbook for "co-dependent no more"?  Or the "language of letting go" these things will help you to realize you are not alone, when I started reading the co-dependent book last year I cried, as they wrote that book about "my" life.  

Are you going to f 2 f meetings?  Do you have friends or family near by.  Church?  What are you doing to be proactive and not just re-active? 

Know that you are loved and in so many people's hearts and prayers.

Hugs Mary