Few of us intentionally refused to see the reality of our lives or the circumstances in which we find ourselves. But the the truth is that most of us have indeed done so. In Alanon , we eventually come to see the many ways we had unknowlingly blocked out whole segments of our past and present. W e recognize situations in which we had unconsciously convinced ourselves that what we saw happening simply wasnt so. At the same time, we understand that we were doing the best we could at the time, trying to survive, to adapt to the way our lives were affected by alcoholism before we found the help fo Alanon.
Withthe help and support of our program and our fellowship, we come to see how much energy was previosy spent on escaping, ignoring, fleeing, denying. We recognize that, today,,our energy can be put to more constructive use in healing ourselves and our relationships. What comes to mind before I close this share,,,is "You can see what the drinking is doing to the alcoholic ,,,,,BUT can you see what it is doing to YOU?,,,,,Hope this helps,,,,gardendal
Powerless said
Sep 24, 2005
I really needed to hear what you had to say today. Not only was I not seeing what the addiction was doing to me and the children, but it was an excuse for me to do things I wouldn't normally consider sane. I verbalized how bad the addiction was for me and the children and sounded intelligent about it, but never believed what I said. I started an affair, stole money, behaved poorly and rationalized to myself that it was in response to the craziness of his addiction. That is a lie. I did them because I was able to get away with it. It did it because no matter what I did, it wasn't as bad as what he did. (In my mind at the time.)
Again, thank you. It gave me food for thought.
nmike said
Sep 25, 2005
Thanks gardengal. The rose colored glasses are gradually coming off but it has been painful. I think that it is partially self preservation and partially not wanting to be a responsible adult. I am trying to work my program and not make my husband into something it is not and something he not capable of. It is frightening what the disease has done to me but it is never, never to late to reclaim who you were meant to be.
Few of us intentionally refused to see the reality of our lives or the circumstances in which we find ourselves. But the the truth is that most of us have indeed done so. In Alanon , we eventually come to see the many ways we had unknowlingly blocked out whole segments of our past and present. W e recognize situations in which we had unconsciously convinced ourselves that what we saw happening simply wasnt so. At the same time, we understand that we were doing the best we could at the time, trying to survive, to adapt to the way our lives were affected by alcoholism before we found the help fo Alanon.
Withthe help and support of our program and our fellowship, we come to see how much energy was previosy spent on escaping, ignoring, fleeing, denying. We recognize that, today,,our energy can be put to more constructive use in healing ourselves and our relationships. What comes to mind before I close this share,,,is "You can see what the drinking is doing to the alcoholic ,,,,,BUT can you see what it is doing to YOU?,,,,,Hope this helps,,,,gardendal
I really needed to hear what you had to say today. Not only was I not seeing what the addiction was doing to me and the children, but it was an excuse for me to do things I wouldn't normally consider sane. I verbalized how bad the addiction was for me and the children and sounded intelligent about it, but never believed what I said. I started an affair, stole money, behaved poorly and rationalized to myself that it was in response to the craziness of his addiction. That is a lie. I did them because I was able to get away with it. It did it because no matter what I did, it wasn't as bad as what he did. (In my mind at the time.)
Again, thank you. It gave me food for thought.
Thanks gardengal. The rose colored glasses are gradually coming off but it has been painful. I think that it is partially self preservation and partially not wanting to be a responsible adult. I am trying to work my program and not make my husband into something it is not and something he not capable of. It is frightening what the disease has done to me but it is never, never to late to reclaim who you were meant to be.
In support,
Nancy
Oh thank you so very much...
Hugs Mary