I will have to make this quick as there is little time left.
I got a call today that upset me very much. Some of my cousins are trying to get me back into Kansas City and into "family" control. It's a typical tactic; financial and other types of bullying and shaming are included. Why would I want to go back to the city where I was getting the @#$% beat out of me all those years and where I had been irretrivably dishonored??
Furthermore I owe it to the people this room to keep my end of the deal and stay put here. Methinks I have nothing to lose at this point.
infinite gratitude to all...
haxi
-- Edited by haximon at 19:55, 2005-09-18
debilyn said
Sep 18, 2005
Hax I hope you keep going with your goals. You have come so far and really
doing well.
Please trust your heart. It sounds like some things are coming together. i hope this job
is something. if not, something better is coming.
I will be able to send a little help soon.
love,debilyn
Maria123 said
Sep 18, 2005
Haxi,
This is a long one (LOL) -- I hope you have a good cup of coffee
One of our choices in recovery is choosing what we want to think -- using our mental energy positively. Postitive mental energy, positive thinking, does not mean we think unrealistically or revert to denial. If we don't like something, we respect our own opinion. If we spot a problem, we're honest about it. If something isn't working out, we accept reality. But we don't dwell on the negative parts of our experience. WHATEVER WE GIVE ENERGY TO, WE EMPOWER. There is magic in empowering the good, because whatever we empower grows bigger. One way to empower the good is through affirmations: simple positive statements we make to ourselves: I love myself . . . I'm good enough . . . My life is good . . . I'm glad I 'm alive today . . . What I want and need is coming to me. The choice in recovery is what we want to affirm.
Wait and expect good things -- for you and your loved ones. When you wonder what is coming, tell yourself the best is coming, the very best life and love have to offer, the best God and His universe have to send you. Then open your hands to receive it. Claim it and it is yours. See the best in your mind; envision what it will look like, what it will feel like. Focus, until you can see it clearly. Let your whole being, body and soul enter into into and hold onto the image for a moment.
Then let it go. Come back into today; the present moment. Do not obsess. Do not become fearful. Become excited. Live today fully, expressing gratitude for all you have been , all you are, and all you will become.
Wait and expect GOOD THINGS !!!
Continued prayers for you (((((((((((friend)))))))))))))
Maria
shimo said
Sep 19, 2005
Hi ((((Haxi))))
You are doing great! I am glad you know what your truth is and that you are able to keep your focus on what is important to you when under pressure from others. You are strong and I so admire how courageous you are. Stay safe, my friend! Keeping you in prayer as always.
Love in recovery - Jeri
bcanuck said
Sep 19, 2005
Hi Haxi,
Haven't been to the board much over the last few months so don't know the whole story of why you are where you are, but remember you don't really owe anything to anyone but yourself. Reading your posts for the last week or so it sounds like you have landed on your feet and are making a fresh start towards an exciting new life. You have a tremendous inner strength. I don't know if I could pick up and start over like you did. I for one am proud of you and your achievements. I think you've answered your own question, "why would I want go back...?". Keep strong my friend.
Bonnie
browneyes said
Sep 19, 2005
Hi
I didn't really know you before you started posting on the board a little while back. But I have read all of your posts and I cannot believe the things you have done. How very courageous you are. How intelligent you are. How determined to find a life that is suitable for you. You just keep doing the best you can. You are awesome in my eyes!!!! I certainly could never have acccomplished the things you have, especially all alone. Do what you gotta do for you!
Julie
Anew123 said
Sep 19, 2005
Hi haxi, I sent you an email at the enforcer addie. I hope you can access it!
[[ room ]]
I will have to make this quick as there is little time left.
I got a call today that upset me very much. Some of my cousins are trying to get me back into Kansas City and into "family" control. It's a typical tactic; financial and other types of bullying and shaming are included. Why would I want to go back to the city where I was getting the @#$% beat out of me all those years and where I had been irretrivably dishonored??
Furthermore I owe it to the people this room to keep my end of the deal and stay put here. Methinks I have nothing to lose at this point.
infinite gratitude to all...
haxi
-- Edited by haximon at 19:55, 2005-09-18
Haxi,
This is a long one (LOL) -- I hope you have a good cup of coffee
One of our choices in recovery is choosing what we want to think -- using our mental energy positively. Postitive mental energy, positive thinking, does not mean we think unrealistically or revert to denial. If we don't like something, we respect our own opinion. If we spot a problem, we're honest about it. If something isn't working out, we accept reality. But we don't dwell on the negative parts of our experience. WHATEVER WE GIVE ENERGY TO, WE EMPOWER. There is magic in empowering the good, because whatever we empower grows bigger. One way to empower the good is through affirmations: simple positive statements we make to ourselves: I love myself . . . I'm good enough . . . My life is good . . . I'm glad I 'm alive today . . . What I want and need is coming to me. The choice in recovery is what we want to affirm.
Wait and expect good things -- for you and your loved ones. When you wonder what is coming, tell yourself the best is coming, the very best life and love have to offer, the best God and His universe have to send you. Then open your hands to receive it. Claim it and it is yours. See the best in your mind; envision what it will look like, what it will feel like. Focus, until you can see it clearly. Let your whole being, body and soul enter into into and hold onto the image for a moment.
Then let it go. Come back into today; the present moment. Do not obsess. Do not become fearful. Become excited. Live today fully, expressing gratitude for all you have been , all you are, and all you will become.
Wait and expect GOOD THINGS !!!
Continued prayers for you (((((((((((friend)))))))))))))
Maria
Hi ((((Haxi))))
You are doing great! I am glad you know what your truth is and that you are able to keep your focus on what is important to you when under pressure from others. You are strong and I so admire how courageous you are. Stay safe, my friend! Keeping you in prayer as always.
Love in recovery - Jeri
Hi Haxi,
Haven't been to the board much over the last few months so don't know the whole story of why you are where you are, but remember you don't really owe anything to anyone but yourself. Reading your posts for the last week or so it sounds like you have landed on your feet and are making a fresh start towards an exciting new life. You have a tremendous inner strength. I don't know if I could pick up and start over like you did. I for one am proud of you and your achievements. I think you've answered your own question, "why would I want go back...?". Keep strong my friend.
Bonnie
Hi
I didn't really know you before you started posting on the board a little while back. But I have read all of your posts and I cannot believe the things you have done. How very courageous you are. How intelligent you are. How determined to find a life that is suitable for you. You just keep doing the best you can. You are awesome in my eyes!!!! I certainly could never have acccomplished the things you have, especially all alone. Do what you gotta do for you!
Julie
Hi haxi, I sent you an email at the enforcer addie. I hope you can access it!
Blessings to you!