My A came to me tonight and apologized for everything I have had to go through with his drinking (This is a first....he always says 'don't apologize if you're if just going to keep doing it'). He said he knew he had to be done drinking and is going to a meeting tomorrow night. The first and last time he got sober it was for seven years. I met him in soberity.

I am scard to show/have any emotion over this incredible news. This is everything I've been wanting but I don't want to let myself believe it could really happen. I don't want to think about facing the disappointment if he does not get or stay sober.

I know he has to be scard to death to go back to a meeting. He is a very proud person and it won't be easy for him to face people at the Alano Club. My heart goes out to him and I want so badly to protect him from this pain and fear, yet I know there is nothing I can do. I think I am just as fearful as he is.

I have a feeling several of you have probably been where I am tonight. If you have any suggestions or words....I'm open! Thanks.

Good night. Jersey

 

 

Hi , think positive and get to an Al-Anon meeting fast your going to need it ,especially if he goes for it and stays sober. I believe the best way to support our husbs is to get our own program and get off thier backs and outta thier face. Sobriety is his miracle and yours is waiting in al anon rooms. good luck to you both .     Louise

Jersey relapse is part of alcoholism. As you have seen they hopefully get a lot of sober time, then relapse and it is a cycle. Please take care of you. We learn in alanon not to base our emotions on our husbands disease. We cannot control it anyway. Rehab is not the endall to being an A. It is just a helper for the A to get skills to deal with his disease. He has no more control if he uses again as if he was in remission from cancer. This is why we must not make it our business. We have to take care of us and lover our A as is. I also want to warn you that many times I have heard my A say what yours did. I feel nothing about it anymore. I say well good for you, I hope you are ready. My emotions are not all involved in it. Just want to love my A as is and not get into his stuff. Alcoholism is a disease like a roller coaster. It is bad enough my A is on it, I choose not to be. That is how we get sick from the disease too. Alanon is what we need. We learn to not get involved with the A's alcoholism. It also makes them love us more as they don't feel as guilty about it. If our happiness is not dependant on their disease, whether in rehab, AA, sober, relapse, It makes them feel better. I hope i am making sense. love,debilyn

Awesome news to hear, and you are so right with your guy instincts.... This is HIS recovery, and you need to allow him the dignity to own his own path.  Yes, you can be supportive, but one of the most positive ways that you can be a support right now, is to work on yourself (thru Al-Anon, etc) at the same time....

When an A says he is going to get sober, it is exciting times, and I would simply encourage you to stay grounded as much as possible.... 1. He hasn't done it yet; and 2. It's dangerous for you, or him, to get too hopeful of "expectations" right now.  One day at a time, and be thankful for this positive turn of events.

T

 

Morning Jersey,

I think today we are on the same path.  My a has been working out of town and came home for the weekend and didn't touch a drop of alcohol. This is a first.  I didn't mention it, and neither did he.  I don't honestly feel that this is the end of his drinking, but I sure enjoyed relaxing this weekend.

Good luck to both of you.

Bonnie