I'm sitting here just mad at my A. He has mood swings from hell. Then I walk aroumd on egg shells. I ask is every thing O.k. Just to get some wise remark. I know getting sober is hard but I just don't like this. I use to walk on eggshells when he was drinking now again. It just does not seem fair. All the books say be supportive. Well I'm tired of it and feel like telling him off. I know not the right thing to do. Some times I just don't want to work my steps I want to get mad and YELL. Well thanks for letting me vent.
NIKKILOU
JillCT said
Sep 7, 2005
That sucks. Can you go for a walk to clear your head? (((Hugs)))
debilyn said
Sep 7, 2005
When my a stopped smoking he was miserable. So I took care of me and ignored the
bad stuff.
I refuse to walk on eggshells, I mean who the heck are they that we should feel
that way?
I know if I were miserable, I would not want anyone to have to feel that way.
Being a butt is rude period. I would stop it immediately with, A do not talk to me
that way, I am not anyones punching bag.
Stand up for me. Not take any bs.
Or I have said, I love you, I will not allow anyone to talk to me in a rude way.
We teach others how they can treat us. i honestly believe that.
I won't share anything with anyone who is rude
I hope you can turn your anger, which only makes you sick and only shows
the disease is controlling you, into something else.
Know it is hard. could say wow sucks to be crabby. or what ever.
shaking head here. They act like they have this power over us, i mean the disease a.
Only if we let it. It is the wind to me, just a disease.
much love,debilyn
Maria123 said
Sep 7, 2005
Good for you Nik
Get those bad feelings out of you. They only hurt you. This is a safe place to vent. Feel the feelings and then get back up on the horse again "so to speak."
Keep posting
Maria123
abbyal said
Sep 8, 2005
Sobriety is not easy at the best of times but it dosent mean we have to let ourselves be abused either, just because they are having a rough time. Don't take the moods personally it's n ot about you. Remember that you were not the reason he drank in the first place and your not responsible for keeping him sober either, nothing u say or do is powerful enough to make him drink again . the choice will be his.
I told my husb a few times that i was sorry he was having a rough time but that was no reason to take it out on me. told him nicley and often added a hug . your doing the right thing come here and holler saves a big argument . hope uare going to f2f meetings for yourself. and have a good sponsor. good luck Louise
canadianguy said
Sep 8, 2005
Boy, can I relate to this one....
What helped me, was to change MY perspective on things.... Rather than get sucked in to the roller coaster of emotions that my recovering wife was going through (and you are right - it is equally as tough as it was when they were drinking), I changed MY attitude towards all the free time I suddenly had. I learned to embrace and LOVE all the freedom I now had, and started doing a lot more things on my own, and became WAY less dependant upon my wife.
Sometimes, as BOTH of you find recovery and peace, the two of you, as a couple, can grow back together. This didn't happen in my case, and we are now separated, but I DO believe it CAN happen, but it is a long, slow process.
I wish you patience and independance, and the will to spend time with YOU.
HI all,
I'm sitting here just mad at my A. He has mood swings from hell. Then I walk aroumd on egg shells. I ask is every thing O.k. Just to get some wise remark. I know getting sober is hard but I just don't like this. I use to walk on eggshells when he was drinking now again. It just does not seem fair. All the books say be supportive. Well I'm tired of it and feel like telling him off. I know not the right thing to do. Some times I just don't want to work my steps I want to get mad and YELL. Well thanks for letting me vent.
NIKKILOU
Good for you Nik
Get those bad feelings out of you. They only hurt you. This is a safe place to vent. Feel the feelings and then get back up on the horse again "so to speak."
Keep posting
Maria123
Sobriety is not easy at the best of times but it dosent mean we have to let ourselves be abused either, just because they are having a rough time. Don't take the moods personally it's n ot about you. Remember that you were not the reason he drank in the first place and your not responsible for keeping him sober either, nothing u say or do is powerful enough to make him drink again . the choice will be his.
I told my husb a few times that i was sorry he was having a rough time but that was no reason to take it out on me. told him nicley and often added a hug . your doing the right thing come here and holler saves a big argument . hope uare going to f2f meetings for yourself. and have a good sponsor. good luck Louise
Boy, can I relate to this one....
What helped me, was to change MY perspective on things.... Rather than get sucked in to the roller coaster of emotions that my recovering wife was going through (and you are right - it is equally as tough as it was when they were drinking), I changed MY attitude towards all the free time I suddenly had. I learned to embrace and LOVE all the freedom I now had, and started doing a lot more things on my own, and became WAY less dependant upon my wife.
Sometimes, as BOTH of you find recovery and peace, the two of you, as a couple, can grow back together. This didn't happen in my case, and we are now separated, but I DO believe it CAN happen, but it is a long, slow process.
I wish you patience and independance, and the will to spend time with YOU.
Tom