my toxic brother wrote this HORRIBLE letter......ok, some history!!! he is executor of my dead child offender father's estate!!!! he KNOWS the freak incested me, and WHY i changed my name to a clean name and i sent him the court papers which showed on the "reason for name change" it said CLEARLY "father was child molester and petitioner does NOT want to be associated with his name" its on the papers......and he calls up our siblings/ relatives and bashes ME for changing my name....
to add insult to injury, he "forgets" me when he made a donation in estate's name and i missed a $960 write off on my taxes last year because of it.....well i wrote him and basically said "name change or NO name change i am an heir to this estate and i want to be treated as such" and to "keep me in the loop when things are done that impact me financially"
anway, he sends me this awful hate letter, i quoted him and i replied........what do you guys think??? was i ok???? did i sound like i am triggering as much as i am??? or did i do ok???
HIS words are in the " " and i replied...and this is exact copy i sent to him....i first start off with my thing and than i cut and pasted his quotes and i replied to them.......
I am sorry you need to hate me so much, but I guess it’s easier to hate me than to accept that your father was a child predator…I do not hate you. I do not love you. I think I feel sorry for you. As far as your father is concerned?? I cut him loose when I got into recovery and got rid of his name that reminded me DAILY of his REPEATED sexual assaults on me. I had nightmares for YEARS over his forcing me to play “customer and whore” when I was only 13. I had to really WORK to not hate him anymore because I want to fill my heart up with love for me, NOT hate for that FREAK!!!! Besides!! I defeated him with Christ and the 12 steps. He is OUT of my life…for the FIRST time in my life, I am progressing towards a life with peace and hope and happiness now when in the past ALL I wanted to do was to die!!
Bitter??? No!! it’s a waste of my precious energy. Being bitter allows him and his evil to win!! I shall NOT let that happen…
NOW I will Comment on excerpts of your note…. You are highlighted in YELLOW…. I am in black…
Thank you for your apology on the error. However, I must address your comment
“doesn’t want to belong to the family”-------- ALL I did was to NOT want to bare the name of YOUR father, who was MY rapist for EIGHT years. I did NOT divorce my loving siblings and cousins and aunts and uncles…I claim them as I did in the past….
“My father would want all his children, no mater how bitter they might be to have their share”----------- I lost my bitterness in recovery. For your info, I have been having NICE talks with Jane who does NOT blame me wanting to get rid of the name of my rapist…. Ricky and Peter CONDEMNED him when I told them of my suffering. Everyone except YOU, supports my wanting to have a name that does NOT remind me of my hell. Jane’s comment to me was “he was an evil son of a bitch to do that to you” she is glad I am in recovery. So are Ricky and Peter…. I am sorry for you that you cannot feel compassion for the mental and emotional illness I suffered but I accept it. There are times I wish he had killed me instead of sentencing me to a life of sickness and YEARS of recovery. You think what you must of me, I do not care anymore.
“ It was your backstabbing me to terese ……….” --------- YES, I did this thoughtless thing and I apologize for it, because it was a bad choice on my part. I let something slip and shouldn’t have …if you choose to hate me for the rest of your life for it, than so be it!! I own my mistakes and I will apologize AGAIN as I did before to you, even though I know you will never forgive me…
“ you are the only sibling I can’t get along with I decided to sever any personal info relationship with you” --------- yes, you told me this already and like I said this is fine with me. I prefer ONLY a business relationship with you. I do wish you well, just not around me so I let you go!! You go your way, I am going mine. I have my family, my friends and my ministry to other incest victims.
You HAD to have known what was going on in that house however I will not bother to ask you WHY you did not try to save my life. Even little Janie tried to chase him away from me when she caught him picking his way into my bedroom. My baby brothers even tried to distract the evil from me. Bless ALL their hearts!! ALL I ever asked of ANY of you was to believe me and respect that this DID happen to me and to show SOME compassion for the horrible life was forced to live. I feel that you knew!!! Everyone ELSE did and they tried either then or afterwards to help me. You did not!! For my release?? I FORGIVE YOU!!! I let you go!!! I am moving ON!!! I am FINALLY finding some peace and hope in my recovery program and I am LOVED by healthy people…I accept that you must attack and hate me to preserve him…I guess you need your daddy no matter what kind of monster he was!!
Maria123 said
Sep 8, 2005
Wow ((((((((((((Rosie)))))))))))))))), I cannot even begin to comprehend what you have gone through in your life. I am so sorry this happened to you. I am, however, amazed at the love shining through the letter to your brother and you vigilance for not allowing someone else to take you down. You are doing an amazing job. I am so inspired by you.
I am sorry you need to hate me so much, but I guess it’s easier to hate me than to accept that your father was a child predator…I do not hate you. I do not love you. I think I feel sorry for you. As far as your father is concerned?? I cut him loose when I got into recovery and got rid of his name that reminded me DAILY of his REPEATED sexual assaults on me. I had nightmares for YEARS over his forcing me to play “customer and whore” when I was only 13. I had to really WORK to not hate him anymore because I want to fill my heart up with love for me, NOT hate for that FREAK!!!! Besides!! I defeated him with Christ and the 12 steps. He is OUT of my life…for the FIRST time in my life, I am progressing towards a life with peace and hope and happiness now when in the past ALL I wanted to do was to die!!
Bitter??? No!! it’s a waste of my precious energy. Being bitter allows him and his evil to win!! I shall NOT let that happen…
NOW I will Comment on excerpts of your note…. You are highlighted in YELLOW…. I am in black…
Thank you for your apology on the error. However, I must address your comment
“doesn’t want to belong to the family”-------- ALL I did was to NOT want to bare the name of YOUR father, who was MY rapist for EIGHT years. I did NOT divorce my loving siblings and cousins and aunts and uncles…I claim them as I did in the past….
“My father would want all his children, no mater how bitter they might be to have their share”----------- I lost my bitterness in recovery. For your info, I have been having NICE talks with Jane who does NOT blame me wanting to get rid of the name of my rapist…. Ricky and Peter CONDEMNED him when I told them of my suffering. Everyone except YOU, supports my wanting to have a name that does NOT remind me of my hell. Jane’s comment to me was “he was an evil son of a bitch to do that to you” she is glad I am in recovery. So are Ricky and Peter…. I am sorry for you that you cannot feel compassion for the mental and emotional illness I suffered but I accept it. There are times I wish he had killed me instead of sentencing me to a life of sickness and YEARS of recovery. You think what you must of me, I do not care anymore.
“ It was your backstabbing me to terese ……….” --------- YES, I did this thoughtless thing and I apologize for it, because it was a bad choice on my part. I let something slip and shouldn’t have …if you choose to hate me for the rest of your life for it, than so be it!! I own my mistakes and I will apologize AGAIN as I did before to you, even though I know you will never forgive me…
“ you are the only sibling I can’t get along with I decided to sever any personal info relationship with you” --------- yes, you told me this already and like I said this is fine with me. I prefer ONLY a business relationship with you. I do wish you well, just not around me so I let you go!! You go your way, I am going mine. I have my family, my friends and my ministry to other incest victims.
You HAD to have known what was going on in that house however I will not bother to ask you WHY you did not try to save my life. Even little Janie tried to chase him away from me when she caught him picking his way into my bedroom. My baby brothers even tried to distract the evil from me. Bless ALL their hearts!! ALL I ever asked of ANY of you was to believe me and respect that this DID happen to me and to show SOME compassion for the horrible life was forced to live. I feel that you knew!!! Everyone ELSE did and they tried either then or afterwards to help me. You did not!! For my release?? I FORGIVE YOU!!! I let you go!!! I am moving ON!!! I am FINALLY finding some peace and hope in my recovery program and I am LOVED by healthy people…I accept that you must attack and hate me to preserve him…I guess you need your daddy no matter what kind of monster he was!!
Wow ((((((((((((Rosie)))))))))))))))), I cannot even begin to comprehend what you have gone through in your life. I am so sorry this happened to you. I am, however, amazed at the love shining through the letter to your brother and you vigilance for not allowing someone else to take you down. You are doing an amazing job. I am so inspired by you.
Keep coming and keep posting,
Yours in recovery,
Maria123