my husband is in the process of losing his job...don't know when. my mom is showing signs of dementia. my job is starting again and i feel like i don't know what i'm doing. only my second year in this specialty and i feel stressed and inadequate (tho i know i will do fine, my gut tells me otherwise...........i don't feel like i can control my gut). i have applied for jobs in another city, near my mom and sister, but now my hubby says he can't get work in his field there. i don't know what to do. we are both very depressed. and can barely talk to each other lately. i am so sad and can't get out of it.....
he is sober 4 years 8 months. wasn't it supposed to get easier?
jo :(
abbyal said
Sep 4, 2005
Hello Jo - sounds like it might be time for First Things First. sort out the things u do have control over such as your attitude about what is going on around you, and remember hubby hasn't lost his job yet ! One day at a time jo , it's all we got . You will find work and u will be great at your job.
As for your mom and dementia I am living with the same disease in m y home my mother in law is living with us now and has elzheimers and it's not easy , i have to remember that nothing makes her happy and not take it personally, nature of her disease. One day it's fine next day all hell breaks loose. Is any of this sounding familiar to you jo? I realized that this was just like alcoholism to me , nothing made any sence to me at all until i conected the two , and saw that finally I know what al anon has been trying to tell me for 20 yrs , it's what a disease does to me that matters. I tend to hover and try to m ake it right, to over do the care and attention , fix , fix ,fix. and therefor I end up half nuts again. There is help for your mom jo , look to the medical field for all the info u can find .
There is always hope JO keep on tryin and get up and put one foot in front of the other - one more time. You know how to do this. keep the focus on the things u can change and you will begin to feel better . good luck Louise
debilyn said
Sep 5, 2005
I am sorry to hear of the obstacles you are facing.
Even good stress is tough jo. Your position is all new eh? Well we need challenge in
our life. When ya feel that gut thing, breath it out and give it to hp.
I Have IBS believe me ya gotta give it away.
Ya know sober or not sober whatever, life is plain hard. Just is, life is the car braking down, and sick family, bills, death, depression, laughter, joy, beauty.
What i learned is it is ok to still be happy even though things are hard. Take your husband
on a date, go to a movie or just go for a walk.
put some food together and go eat by a lake or something. I have a book that is a book fo
questions.i love that book. There is a fun adult type one too.
Sometimes i will sorta pretend things are ok, next thing i know I am not pretending, and
forgot I was.
So sorry to hear about your mom. I know it must be horribly hard. my mom was
out of it a bit before I lost her to breast cancer. I cannot imagine having years of
that.
But one day at a time and i would give my life to have her back.
Depression is normal. but your body can get stuck in it too. Maybe some counseling
and or meds would help?
My meds are doing me so much good.
sending you a hug. love,debilyn
nmike said
Sep 5, 2005
Jo,
I can identify because I thought it would get better. But my readings say that is life. You are stronger than you think! Sometimes I think that our higher powers do this to get our attention in some aspect in our lives. Face it head on, take care of yourself, and I bet something positive will open up for you.
hi all....
i am seriously stressed.
my husband is in the process of losing his job...don't know when. my mom is showing signs of dementia. my job is starting again and i feel like i don't know what i'm doing. only my second year in this specialty and i feel stressed and inadequate (tho i know i will do fine, my gut tells me otherwise...........i don't feel like i can control my gut). i have applied for jobs in another city, near my mom and sister, but now my hubby says he can't get work in his field there. i don't know what to do. we are both very depressed. and can barely talk to each other lately. i am so sad and can't get out of it.....
he is sober 4 years 8 months. wasn't it supposed to get easier?
jo :(
Hello Jo - sounds like it might be time for First Things First. sort out the things u do have control over such as your attitude about what is going on around you, and remember hubby hasn't lost his job yet ! One day at a time jo , it's all we got . You will find work and u will be great at your job.
As for your mom and dementia I am living with the same disease in m y home my mother in law is living with us now and has elzheimers and it's not easy , i have to remember that nothing makes her happy and not take it personally, nature of her disease. One day it's fine next day all hell breaks loose. Is any of this sounding familiar to you jo? I realized that this was just like alcoholism to me , nothing made any sence to me at all until i conected the two , and saw that finally I know what al anon has been trying to tell me for 20 yrs , it's what a disease does to me that matters. I tend to hover and try to m ake it right, to over do the care and attention , fix , fix ,fix. and therefor I end up half nuts again. There is help for your mom jo , look to the medical field for all the info u can find .
There is always hope JO keep on tryin and get up and put one foot in front of the other - one more time. You know how to do this. keep the focus on the things u can change and you will begin to feel better . good luck Louise
Jo,
I can identify because I thought it would get better. But my readings say that is life. You are stronger than you think! Sometimes I think that our higher powers do this to get our attention in some aspect in our lives. Face it head on, take care of yourself, and I bet something positive will open up for you.
In support,
Nancy