I dont know where to begin.. Today, I woke up like any other day. My husband, the A was working he works 24 hours on and 48 off. So yesterday he was on duty and the house was very peaceful.. Today, the kids went to school, I went to work and my husband came home. We talked a few times on the phone no big deal.. I came home we ordered pizza and then EVERYTHING CHANGED.. My teenage son was not doing things as quickly as we want and like most was saying " In a min. " My husband jumped up from the bed, and ran accross the house GRABBED my son, and started SCREAMING .. He told him he was lazy, and called him a FAT A.. I told him to calm down, meanwhile my son is yelling my a is yelling my daughter is crying and I am telling EVERYONE to CALM DOWN.. This went on for about 15 min, he screamed at me. He called my son lazy and disrespectful and again a fat a.. I didnt know what to say.. I just stood there.. Saying CALM DOWN !! Please CALM DOWN... My son left to go for a walk my husband continued to blame me.. Insisted that I let the kids get away with everything .. And disrespect me.. I am so hurt.. I told him that Name calling wasnt acceptable and he had NO RIGHT to call my son names.. NO RIGHT>.. He deserves discipline but not name calling.. IT ISNT RIGHT>. He threw his cell phone, and then took off. I am sure he went to get LOADED .. Now to make matters worse.. I sign on the computer and find out he has been looking at PORN today !! I am very much AGAINST THIS.. But then again, I am against his alcoholism, the way he disrespects me and the kids, and now this..... I am just SPINNING out of CONTROL, my life is such a MESS. I feel guilty, I have a home and beautiful children and the people in LA and Mississippi lost everything.. I am sorry, this was so long and I hope that is isnt spinning as much as my HEAD .. Please help.. What do i do ??? I have nobody to turn to that understands where I am today .. More confused than ever.. tammy

(((tammy))) Take a breath and realize that although everything around you was out of control, you maintained control for yourself. I do not know where you have been or where you are in recovery, but for me that alone would be progress and proof that this program is working in your life.

Hi Tammy

 

(((Tammy)))

One of the first things that I learned when I walked through the doors of alanon was told to me by an old lady, maybe 75.

She welcomed me as a newcomer and gave me kleenex as I cried through the half hour beginners meeting, the hour regular meetings and many a meeting since.

She told me that living with alcoholism is living with insanity.

nothing will make sense.

You know, she was correct. My life was wildly out of control. My mind ached from trying to wrap itself around the daily crises in my home.

Alcoholics drink, thats what they do. they have ugly behaviours and that is the way they are.

What do we do? I cried, I screamed, I threatend him, I kicked him, I belitteled him.

For MONTHS AND MONTHS

and still he drank and I was miserable.

by the grace of God i found the alanon program and started to learn a better way to live.

keep coming back Tammy, it WILL get better

 

love in recovery

megan

Hello Tammy , please find some f2f meetings u will find a room full of people who understand exactly how u feel and can share th ier own experiences with you and help u get thru this . You are never alone once settled in Al-Anon , we need support with skin on it sometimes. This board and chat are great but can never replace the human f2f contact that we all need.

You can stop the spinning and meetings will help , there is nothing u can do about him but alot u can do for yourself.  good luck  Louise

Tammy I think those before me said it all. You did well in the situation, think back to how you would've reacted before Alanon. I can relate in that I must remind myself often of the progress that I've made, progress not perfection. Keep the focus on you and your kids, he sure won't. Whitie

Hi Tammy

BIG supportive HUGS!!!!!to you.

The others said all that I was thinking.

It sure sounds like you need a hug.

Take care do something special for your self!!!

Love in recovery
JJ

((((((((((((((Tammy)))))))))))),

I really liked what Megan said about insanity.

Have your kids ever been to alateen? This may help them. I am not sure how old your kids are, but I know here a child doesn't have to be a teenager to go to alateen, in fact one alateen is only 8, but contributes to the group in her own way. Something to maybe look into.

Please do something for yourself, you deserve it!

Much Love,