My "A" calls me before he got home from work. He wanted $20. He wanted to call his connection and buy some pot. I so badly wanted to argue, fight, and once again be the wounded party. I said I will give him $20, but then he has no "extra money" til the end of them month. It is his money to, even though I don't agree with what he spends it on, it isn't going to hurt us financially to give it to him, so I had no real ground to stand on that didn't involve working his recovery.
Anyway-
He could not get "connected", he came home so upset. We were all home and he was just pissy. I said okay everyone shoes on. SO my three young ones, my "A", and I all got into the car. There is this park by our house that has some great woods to walk around in, so that is where I took us.
When we were walking I asked him to name me 10 things he was grateful for, he could only think of 4, myself and the kids. So i said tell me 2 things you are grateful for and it can't be us. He could only come up with 1, that god was active in his life (the irony of this answer will be seen later). I asked if he really meant that and he said yes. Then he talked about how bad he was feeling lately. I asked him if he was doing the best he can with what he has. He said no. I asked how he could fix that, he said go to meetings, I asked why he didn't go, he said all the drama. I let that one go. I then asked him to name 3 things that didn't involve money that he and I can do together after the kids go to bed. he could only think of 1. He wanted to eat something, curl up and watch a movie. I am really not in the mood for TV, but agreed.
We watch Bicentenial Man, a movie we have seen a million times. In the midst of this he lets go of his desire to use, and enjoys the movie. We talk here and there, and he becomes more affectionate. He leans on me and holds my hand. It is almost 11pm when the movie is done.
We are shutting down the house, and the cell rings. It is his boss. Someone has ripped off aome equipment from the boss' house. My "A" and his coworker were out there after work, alone. The boss asks if my "A" if he took the stuff. My "A" has only been working with this man for 2 months, everyone else has known him for years. My "A" says no, he was there with the coworker for about 5 minutes, didn't see the items that were taken, and then tells him to call the coworker.
After my "A" hangs up his is a little upset, does not think the boss believes him. He goes next door to smoke a cigerette. He is gone for 20 minutes. He comes back and says he needed to go vent with a guy. Then he thanks me for being supportive of him that night, because the phone call with the boss could have gone so differently if he was high or mad. (Remember that comment he said about God being active in his life?)
We then went to bed, and stayed up until 2am talking about how we first met, and some really great times.
I do not know how this all happened. I am just so grateful to my HP for last night. I know that how I chose to handle my "A"'s self pitty may not work all the time, but it did last night, and I am still dumbfounded. I have given up trying to figure it out.
Isn't this program amazing. I used tools I didn't even know I had. All those questions I asked him in the woods, I have no idea where they came from. I truly believe that God used me to help my "A". I love my "A" to death, but when he is wanting to use, and doesn't get it he is so difficult to be around, and I usually loose my temper. And last night the love, compassion, understanding, and the patience I had were truly a gift from GOD!.
Just had to share with you all.
If you read all of this, thank you. If you didn't I thank you. Without my Alanon family I would be truly lost for because of Alanon I found GOD.
Much Love
david62 said
Aug 26, 2005
Wow!!!!
(((((((((((((Dolphin)))))))))))))))
Thank you so much for sharing that!!!!
I gotta tell ya....have some tears over here!!!
What an amazing thing it is when we can make that connection with our HP and be that channel for him to work through.
Wow!!! Again.
David
marmare said
Aug 26, 2005
Our small miracles are amazing huh? Hugs Mary
Strong4myboys said
Aug 26, 2005
(((HUGS))) Sounds like a very interesting night! So glad you found some peace. HP's work in mysterious ways don't they? Sometimes I catch myself telling my A things and I'm like, where in the world did that come from? I find myself having wisdom and strength, knowing the perfect things to say at the right time. I can only thank my HP for that. Now if I could only figure out how to do to that ALL the time, lol! Keep up the amazing work!
-BStrong
megan said
Aug 26, 2005
(((Dolphin)))
Way to go Dolphin!
What a great way to use the program!
Doing things different and getting a different result, very very satisfying
great work!
jj said
Aug 26, 2005
((((((Dolphin)))))))
Thank you for sharing that spiritual experiance with all of us. With out realizing it you have probably helpped many people out there in cyber world on both sides of the fence.
I am so glad that lastnight was such a great experience for you. It is so gratifying for me when I realize that my HP is helpping me and my A.
Love in recovery JJ
AlaMom said
Aug 26, 2005
((((Dolphin))))
great for you. I have often had similar sitations. When I do I remember what a long time member had told me - There are no coincidences - just God incidences.
So happy to hear despite the ugliness of the disease you found some serenity with the one that you love.
Karen
debilyn said
Aug 26, 2005
I am so glad you got to have some "good" time with your A. treasure it, and
when it gets bad again, don't let it negate it.
You did wonderful, it is so neat to see ya using your skills naturally, took a lot
of footwork to get where you are.
smiling for you, love,debilyn
(((((((((((((Roomies)))))))))))))))))),
Wow what a night last night was!
My "A" calls me before he got home from work. He wanted $20. He wanted to call his connection and buy some pot. I so badly wanted to argue, fight, and once again be the wounded party. I said I will give him $20, but then he has no "extra money" til the end of them month. It is his money to, even though I don't agree with what he spends it on, it isn't going to hurt us financially to give it to him, so I had no real ground to stand on that didn't involve working his recovery.
Anyway-
He could not get "connected", he came home so upset. We were all home and he was just pissy. I said okay everyone shoes on. SO my three young ones, my "A", and I all got into the car. There is this park by our house that has some great woods to walk around in, so that is where I took us.
When we were walking I asked him to name me 10 things he was grateful for, he could only think of 4, myself and the kids. So i said tell me 2 things you are grateful for and it can't be us. He could only come up with 1, that god was active in his life (the irony of this answer will be seen later). I asked if he really meant that and he said yes. Then he talked about how bad he was feeling lately. I asked him if he was doing the best he can with what he has. He said no. I asked how he could fix that, he said go to meetings, I asked why he didn't go, he said all the drama. I let that one go. I then asked him to name 3 things that didn't involve money that he and I can do together after the kids go to bed. he could only think of 1. He wanted to eat something, curl up and watch a movie. I am really not in the mood for TV, but agreed.
We watch Bicentenial Man, a movie we have seen a million times. In the midst of this he lets go of his desire to use, and enjoys the movie. We talk here and there, and he becomes more affectionate. He leans on me and holds my hand. It is almost 11pm when the movie is done.
We are shutting down the house, and the cell rings. It is his boss. Someone has ripped off aome equipment from the boss' house. My "A" and his coworker were out there after work, alone. The boss asks if my "A" if he took the stuff. My "A" has only been working with this man for 2 months, everyone else has known him for years. My "A" says no, he was there with the coworker for about 5 minutes, didn't see the items that were taken, and then tells him to call the coworker.
After my "A" hangs up his is a little upset, does not think the boss believes him. He goes next door to smoke a cigerette. He is gone for 20 minutes. He comes back and says he needed to go vent with a guy. Then he thanks me for being supportive of him that night, because the phone call with the boss could have gone so differently if he was high or mad. (Remember that comment he said about God being active in his life
?)
We then went to bed, and stayed up until 2am talking about how we first met, and some really great times.
I do not know how this all happened. I am just so grateful to my HP for last night. I know that how I chose to handle my "A"'s self pitty may not work all the time, but it did last night, and I am still dumbfounded. I have given up trying to figure it out.
Isn't this program amazing. I used tools I didn't even know I had. All those questions I asked him in the woods, I have no idea where they came from. I truly believe that God used me to help my "A". I love my "A" to death, but when he is wanting to use, and doesn't get it he is so difficult to be around, and I usually loose my temper. And last night the love, compassion, understanding, and the patience I had were truly a gift from GOD!.
Just had to share with you all.
If you read all of this, thank you. If you didn't I thank you. Without my Alanon family I would be truly lost for because of Alanon I found GOD.
Much Love
Wow!!!!
(((((((((((((Dolphin)))))))))))))))
Thank you so much for sharing that!!!!
I gotta tell ya....have some tears over here!!!
What an amazing thing it is when we can make that connection with our HP and be that channel for him to work through.
Wow!!! Again.
David
(((HUGS))) Sounds like a very interesting night! So glad you found some peace. HP's work in mysterious ways don't they? Sometimes I catch myself telling my A things and I'm like, where in the world did that come from? I find myself having wisdom and strength, knowing the perfect things to say at the right time. I can only thank my HP for that. Now if I could only figure out how to do to that ALL the time, lol! Keep up the amazing work!
-BStrong
(((Dolphin)))
Way to go Dolphin!
What a great way to use the program!
Doing things different and getting a different result, very very satisfying
great work!
((((((Dolphin)))))))
Thank you for sharing that spiritual experiance with all of us. With out realizing it you have probably helpped many people out there in cyber world on both sides of the fence.
I am so glad that lastnight was such a great experience for you. It is so gratifying for me when I realize that my HP is helpping me and my A.
Love in recovery
JJ
((((Dolphin))))
great for you. I have often had similar sitations. When I do I remember what a long time member had told me - There are no coincidences - just God incidences.
So happy to hear despite the ugliness of the disease you found some serenity with the one that you love.
Karen