I think I'm writing more to vent than anything. Perhaps some insight from the group would be helpful. I'm having a hard time getting past my in laws. My husband is the A. I go to Al Anon regularly and he is currently in a 12 week health care professionals rehab. program. He seems to be getting it and i feel like I'm making great progress in taking care of myself as well as understanding this disease. In the beginning I had so many bad, overwhelming days and as of lately, the days are very good with a few in between bad ones.

So to get to my point, my in laws are not educating themselves at all. They refuse to go to alanon and as of the other day my mother in law stated that my husband had to change his lifestyle, they did not need to change theirs. I heard this second hand so I was not there to respond. They enable, big time. Send him money, try to get him out of his dui and anytime I tried to educate them, they have a glazed looked on their face. I have realized I'm not responsible for their attitudes and I can't change them. It is just driving me crazy seeing them. My A and I are making such great progress in our own recoveries and they are so not in the game. My mother in law, I feel is mad at my husband and blames him and shames him. They also treat my husband like he's a glass doll, they have always done that. He's the golden boy. He recognizes my issue a little bit but doesn't seem to be bothered by them. I know this is my issue. I guess just living with the disease everyday and now seeing my A cleaning up, I'm worried they are going to undermind everything. In my head know my A is responsible for his own recovery but in my heart I feel bad that he's doing so well and they don't get it. He'll tell them about his desire chip and monthy celebrations and they just look him with a blank stare.

Anyway, I'm having a real hard time letting go of my issue with my in laws and just thought putting it out there for discussion might help.

i was married to an "A"  too...his mom thought he had NO probs,  the probs were with me....well i was  a coda and not in recovery so she was  HALF right.....but to admit HE had a problem???  hell no!!!

so even then, i decided that she could think what she wanted...i was going to take care of me...when he quit his  #.....  job. i marked on a calandar and said  by THIS Date if you are NOT in recovery  NOT working...i AM  going!!!   well the date came...no AA  and no job....rosie packed her bags and bailed!!!!   it woudl go back and forth..mostly dating my own husband, separate residences, if i was gonna support someone it was gonna be ME....and finally after 5 years of  back and forth..i got a divorce...it was NOT worth it......but that is what i did...each person has to make their own choices....so please take what works and dump the rest...rosie

Hello Imot , someone told me along time ago  that the more I  try to open someones eyes. the more they close thier ears.  no kidding . found it out the hard way . Parents just don't want to see whats going on , as u stop enabling and he gets himself into trouble they will have to take a look at what he is doing. In the meantime jsut keep working on yourself and leave him to his Higher Power.    Louise