This is in response to a post that I wanted to share with everyone here.....
I completely understand your concept of patience with people who are struggling, but I would like to add perception as a child of God. Yes, we all should have compassion and love as Jesus did and yes if we are slapped we should turn the other cheek-- We should forgive as Our Father forgives us. However, we are to not be unequally yoked as well. The analogy of that is that if there is an ox and a donkey yoked together, pulling a heavy item, eventually the strong ox would be broken down to accommodate the donkeys weakness. As earth people, we are to choose our relationships that will best develop our relationship with God-- THAT'S IT. There comes a point that we can no longer be unequally yoked to another person because it is spiritually destroying us. Whether in business or personal, if a relationship interfers with the plan that God wants of our life-- we need to choose God and follow Him. In some cases, that might mean sticking it out in a relationship because we are learning and growing to have compassion as God would like us too. However, in other cases, we MUST walk away. Scripture can be interpreted in many ways by various peoples understanding, but it all comes down to love, compassion and having our relationship with God built and made stronger. ANYTHING or ANYONE who interfers with that-- EVEN OURSELVES should be analyzed further so that we may turn our direction back to God. We cannot control other people, therefore-- at times we must move on. It has NOTHING to do with not having patience, but rather more to do what is right for an individual.
Some of lifes most difficult lessons come with losing those we love, either by tragedy, broken relationships or natural causes-- It all still comes back to one thing. Nothing or Nobody is above God and as long as we are Me centered instead of God centered, relationships as we know them will never change-- we will continue to pick the same unhealthy relationships until we've learned the lesson God wants of us.
So, I'm not saying that people shouldn't be patient, but what I am saying is that only each of us individually knows our limitation and what brings us peace and should make decisions based on that--- What may be a period of time for you to be patient may be much less or much longer than what someone else thinks or feels.
The best that we can all do is learn from our pain--- take that pain and talk to God, feel what needs to be felt and allow God to heal it completely so that the most important relationship can be strengthened. ONLY then can a persons life be transformed.
-- Edited by sanddie at 15:57, 2005-08-20
megan said
Aug 21, 2005
There comes a point that we can no longer be unequally yoked to another person because it is spiritually destroying us. Whether in business or personal, if a relationship interfers with the plan that God wants of our life-- we need to choose God and follow Him. In some cases, that might mean sticking it out in a relationship because we are learning and growing to have compassion as God would like us too. However, in other cases, we MUST walk away.
HI Sanddie
Thank-you so much for posting this.
I left my husband in May and filed for divorce 2 weeks ago.
My family is supportive.
HIS FAMILY is supportive of me
My PRIEST is supportive of my decision
My weight hit 200lbs for the first time in my life. My blood pressure became borderline high.
I was taking 4 sleeping pills a night to sleep with my A’s crap going on – you all know – the shining a flashlight in your eyes and loud noises to wake you up.
I was unequally yoked.
I was mentally unstable and physically in ill health.
For me, I could not stay, I would be down in the same hole as my husband.
I am making a new life for myself.
I volunteer, yes, I give back.
I am close with my family – they need me, have for years I now see but I was isolated from them.
I am again a friend, a good friend, one who gives back and is available.
I am in training for a triathalon in September and have lost 20lbs, and will lose the rest until I am again physically heathy.
Mentally I am able to sleep without sleeping pills and the nightmares are subsiding.
I am able to listen to God’s plan for me and follow it.
My obsession with curing my husband, an unattainable goal for me, is something I still fight.
You see, I still love him.
But I can no longer interfere with God’s work and his plan.
Just me today
megan
sanddie said
Aug 21, 2005
Megan:
May God continue to bless you..... He'll NEVER disappoint you. Take it from me who came through an couple unhealthy relationships as well. What I've learned from it is that if it disturbs the internal peace I have inside of me, (Given to me by God) then it is damaging my relationship with God-- Not because of God, but because of my selfishness to fulfill my selfish needs rather than what God knows that I need to live out His plan.
I too, lost weight when I changed my life and did my first triathalon 3 years ago in which we finished in the top 25%. In total I had lost almost 100 lbs since the birth of my daughter and quit smoking and although, I still experience pain, particularly from a breakup I just did this past Janauary with a guy who was the FIRST alcoholic I had been with or at least had know for certain. This was the relationship though that offered truth and as a Pastor of my church confirmed, "The Truth Shall Set You Free". I finally learned the true extent of codependent relationships and what my entire life had been about-- it is my responsibility for being in these relationships that were unhealthy and ultimately, driven by self rather than by God. I wish I would have just remained friends with my ex a looking back because he is very special to me and I would have much rather had that friendship throughout my life than what has occured. But live and learn.... :) Anyway, all of my other relationships were physically, mentally and emotionally abusive-- even as a child and just a continuation of what I had learned to accept. As you, I love this man I broke up with in January with all of my heart, mind and soul and know that will never change. God also knows my heart and the sincerity of that, but He also knows that I fought to make this choice for Him. For the first time, I chose God, not myself (it was one of the most painful choices I ever had to make). In turn, since then, I'm discovering that God is returning so many special people in my life hundredfold.
Remember that you'll have obstacles thrown at you during the course of this healing process because Satan wants to distract us and not let us succeed in our relationship with God so the closer you come to understanding God, the more Satan works to deceive you. I've been there and continue to be there.... Just pray and never stop praying-- ask God about anything you doubt and then just wait-- He'll answer you in some way and you will know it's Him because of the peace that comes with the answer.
This is in response to a post that I wanted to share with everyone here.....
I completely understand your concept of patience with people who are struggling, but I would like to add perception as a child of God. Yes, we all should have compassion and love as Jesus did and yes if we are slapped we should turn the other cheek-- We should forgive as Our Father forgives us. However, we are to not be unequally yoked as well. The analogy of that is that if there is an ox and a donkey yoked together, pulling a heavy item, eventually the strong ox would be broken down to accommodate the donkeys weakness. As earth people, we are to choose our relationships that will best develop our relationship with God-- THAT'S IT. There comes a point that we can no longer be unequally yoked to another person because it is spiritually destroying us. Whether in business or personal, if a relationship interfers with the plan that God wants of our life-- we need to choose God and follow Him. In some cases, that might mean sticking it out in a relationship because we are learning and growing to have compassion as God would like us too. However, in other cases, we MUST walk away. Scripture can be interpreted in many ways by various peoples understanding, but it all comes down to love, compassion and having our relationship with God built and made stronger. ANYTHING or ANYONE who interfers with that-- EVEN OURSELVES should be analyzed further so that we may turn our direction back to God. We cannot control other people, therefore-- at times we must move on. It has NOTHING to do with not having patience, but rather more to do what is right for an individual.
Some of lifes most difficult lessons come with losing those we love, either by tragedy, broken relationships or natural causes-- It all still comes back to one thing. Nothing or Nobody is above God and as long as we are Me centered instead of God centered, relationships as we know them will never change-- we will continue to pick the same unhealthy relationships until we've learned the lesson God wants of us.
So, I'm not saying that people shouldn't be patient, but what I am saying is that only each of us individually knows our limitation and what brings us peace and should make decisions based on that--- What may be a period of time for you to be patient may be much less or much longer than what someone else thinks or feels.
The best that we can all do is learn from our pain--- take that pain and talk to God, feel what needs to be felt and allow God to heal it completely so that the most important relationship can be strengthened. ONLY then can a persons life be transformed.
-- Edited by sanddie at 15:57, 2005-08-20
There comes a point that we can no longer be unequally yoked to another person because it is spiritually destroying us. Whether in business or personal, if a relationship interfers with the plan that God wants of our life-- we need to choose God and follow Him. In some cases, that might mean sticking it out in a relationship because we are learning and growing to have compassion as God would like us too. However, in other cases, we MUST walk away.
HI Sanddie
Thank-you so much for posting this.
I left my husband in May and filed for divorce 2 weeks ago.
My family is supportive.
HIS FAMILY is supportive of me
My PRIEST is supportive of my decision
My weight hit 200lbs for the first time in my life. My blood pressure became borderline high.
I was taking 4 sleeping pills a night to sleep with my A’s crap going on – you all know – the shining a flashlight in your eyes and loud noises to wake you up.
I was unequally yoked.
I was mentally unstable and physically in ill health.
For me, I could not stay, I would be down in the same hole as my husband.
I am making a new life for myself.
I volunteer, yes, I give back.
I am close with my family – they need me, have for years I now see but I was isolated from them.
I am again a friend, a good friend, one who gives back and is available.
I am in training for a triathalon in September and have lost 20lbs, and will lose the rest until I am again physically heathy.
Mentally I am able to sleep without sleeping pills and the nightmares are subsiding.
I am able to listen to God’s plan for me and follow it.
My obsession with curing my husband, an unattainable goal for me, is something I still fight.
You see, I still love him.
But I can no longer interfere with God’s work and his plan.
Just me today
megan
Megan:
May God continue to bless you..... He'll NEVER disappoint you. Take it from me who came through an couple unhealthy relationships as well. What I've learned from it is that if it disturbs the internal peace I have inside of me, (Given to me by God) then it is damaging my relationship with God-- Not because of God, but because of my selfishness to fulfill my selfish needs rather than what God knows that I need to live out His plan.
I too, lost weight when I changed my life and did my first triathalon 3 years ago in which we finished in the top 25%. In total I had lost almost 100 lbs since the birth of my daughter and quit smoking and although, I still experience pain, particularly from a breakup I just did this past Janauary with a guy who was the FIRST alcoholic I had been with or at least had know for certain. This was the relationship though that offered truth and as a Pastor of my church confirmed, "The Truth Shall Set You Free". I finally learned the true extent of codependent relationships and what my entire life had been about-- it is my responsibility for being in these relationships that were unhealthy and ultimately, driven by self rather than by God. I wish I would have just remained friends with my ex a looking back because he is very special to me and I would have much rather had that friendship throughout my life than what has occured. But live and learn.... :) Anyway, all of my other relationships were physically, mentally and emotionally abusive-- even as a child and just a continuation of what I had learned to accept. As you, I love this man I broke up with in January with all of my heart, mind and soul and know that will never change. God also knows my heart and the sincerity of that, but He also knows that I fought to make this choice for Him. For the first time, I chose God, not myself (it was one of the most painful choices I ever had to make). In turn, since then, I'm discovering that God is returning so many special people in my life hundredfold.
Remember that you'll have obstacles thrown at you during the course of this healing process because Satan wants to distract us and not let us succeed in our relationship with God so the closer you come to understanding God, the more Satan works to deceive you. I've been there and continue to be there.... Just pray and never stop praying-- ask God about anything you doubt and then just wait-- He'll answer you in some way and you will know it's Him because of the peace that comes with the answer.
Take Care.... Hugggggsssss
-- Edited by sanddie at 13:07, 2005-08-21