I feel so frustrated with myself. I posted here about leaving my husband a couple of weeks ago. I had not heard from him and needed to contact him about the utility bills that had not been paid that were in my name. It took alot for me to work up the nerve to call because I was so afraid that we were going to argue. I also felt that his silence meant that he didn't love me anymore. Well I got the nerve up and called and we did argue some because of course he was putting all the blame on me and I didn't think that he was being fair. Well anyways, he told me that he was still very much "in love with me" which made me feel better. Here is the thing though. As long as I feel that I have the final say as to whether our marriage ends or not gives me a boost of confidence. How sick is that? I was working on the 4th step and now I feel that I need to do some more work on the 1st step because I'm still having control issues. I know that it takes time to change. I know that I am probably being hard on myself but I feel that I am going backwards instead of forward. If you guys have any input I would appreciate it. Thanks
Julie
megan said
Aug 19, 2005
Hi Julie,
I can relatet o this topic as well.
I filed for divorce a few weeks ago.
My husband still has not been served so he somehow is in denial.
And I think I realize at any time I can call off the divorce and he is too sick from drinking to fight.
My mind runs the gamut of emotions from well he says he loves me still to I know as sick as he is he is incapable of love.
Its a tough place to be in
megan
lin0606 said
Aug 19, 2005
Any insight you gain into yourself is a step forward, look at it that way. You didn't get here overnight, you can't expect to get better overnight either.
kimmie said
Aug 19, 2005
Julielynn, we all have set backs. It's good that you are aware of yours. We are all human and dont give yourself such a hard time about it, just stay strong and start over if you have to. This is a livelong battle for most of us and there is plenty of time to mess up and recover. Good luck, hang in there.
rosie light shines said
Aug 19, 2005
julie half the battle is KNOWING you have an issue and the other half is the WILLINGNESS to do the steps to at least "manage" it......i get hard on me too, and i say we got into recovery and that took courage and caring....give yourself a BIIIG hug for this honest and open share....peace rosie
I feel so frustrated with myself.
I posted here about leaving my husband a couple of weeks ago. I had not heard from him and needed to contact him about the utility bills that had not been paid that were in my name. It took alot for me to work up the nerve to call because I was so afraid that we were going to argue. I also felt that his silence meant that he didn't love me anymore. Well I got the nerve up and called and we did argue some because of course he was putting all the blame on me and I didn't think that he was being fair. Well anyways, he told me that he was still very much "in love with me" which made me feel better. Here is the thing though. As long as I feel that I have the final say as to whether our marriage ends or not gives me a boost of confidence. How sick is that?
I was working on the 4th step and now I feel that I need to do some more work on the 1st step because I'm still having control issues. I know that it takes time to change. I know that I am probably being hard on myself but I feel that I am going backwards instead of forward. If you guys have any input I would appreciate it. Thanks
Julie
Hi Julie,
I can relatet o this topic as well.
I filed for divorce a few weeks ago.
My husband still has not been served so he somehow is in denial.
And I think I realize at any time I can call off the divorce and he is too sick from drinking to fight.
My mind runs the gamut of emotions from well he says he loves me still to I know as sick as he is he is incapable of love.
Its a tough place to be in
megan