I havent posted for almost a week .. However, have really been trying to focus on me. Boy, it is really hard loving an alcoholic. Life has been okay here, my A went about 5 days without a drink. Then today while on the boat you guessed it he came home and had been drinking. After we everyone came home from work/school he decided he needed to go to his dads... ( they drink together, you guessed it another A ) .. Here I am 7:30 and for the first time in a long time i am not freaking out. I know that he was drinking and is still drinking. He will come home sometime after 9pm barely able to walk.. Am I becoming numb ?? I keep saying this over and over again... My head wants out.. My heart sees hope. Somewhere deep inside a glimmer of hope. We have talked about seperating several times and dividing the assets but have never followed thru.. Are we living just to live ?? I wish I could make a decision, and wake up 5 months later. I keep asking God to lead me .. Guide me down the path we wants me to take.. A path that is right for me and my kids... This week I bought myself a new car... A car that I've always wanted. A car I never thought I was worthly of.. I know that a car doesnt change who you are. But for me It said I AM WORTH IT.. a small step in the right direction.. I ask myself,... what have i learned in my short time in Al-anon I didnt CAUSE his drinking I cant CONTROL his drinking I cant CURE his drinking Now if i could just learn to LET GO and LET GOD !! Thanks for listening.. Tammy

Tammy!!!

 

great work!way to take care of you with the car! Excellent progress.

And not worrying about him while he is drinking that is a biggie.

 

We had a boat for many years and it was always a GURANTEE my husband would drink if he boated. I was so happy once I sold it 2 years ago :)

 

Trust in God tammy and follow his lead, you have learned so much already..

 

Enjoy the new car!!! And some new found peace

 

And keep coming back, you're worth it

 

megan

(((((((((((Tammy)))))))))),

It sounds like you are taking care of you! Way to go on the new car!

Trust in your HP and you will make the right decission, whatever that is for you.

Keep Coming back!

Much Love,