I have a question:

Is it true that if you have alcoholic parents that you will be an alcoholic as well?

I wonder about the answer to this question everyday and it is driving me crazy!

Please reply.

No, it is not true. Just because they are, doesn't mean you have to be alcoholic. Being brought up in an alcoholic home or having alcoholic parents may mean that you are more likely to fall in to alcoholism, but knowing that you may be more prone to end up that way gives you an edge. YOU can prevent it by not drinking and going down that same road.. take care Christy

Hello princess,

     I had to respond to your message ( my daughter is my princess).  My A in my life is my husband.  His father is an alcoholic and his grandfather and many uncle and aunts.  He also has four brother.  My husband and one brother are alcoholics.  Two brother are not and rarley drink at all.  I do think it runs in familys kids learn what they see.  I do  think that it can't be stopped.  My husband is sober six months and I hope are kids never see him drink.  They are 5,3,9mos.  I do plan on letting then know it runs in their family and they need to be very carefull.  My husband and I have already talked if one ever comes home drunk underage they will go to an AA meeting with their dad.  They will know it is a problem in are family and will we discourge drinking at all.  Once they are of age there will be nothing we can do.  I hope that they will not fall in to the drinking.  I will hold the three c's close to my heart and pray for them.  Don't beat your self up over tommrow or down the road.  Just take it one day at a time.  Just you being here is one of the best things you can do for your kids.

good luck in your recovery NIKKILOU

 

Meg,

I think it depends on the person. Both my grandfathers are alcoholice, but my parents are not. I am not an alcoholic, my "A" has alcoholics in his family. I truly believe it depends on the person, and if they can find healthy ways to deal with whatever causes them to drink in the first place. I also believe that since my children have been around both programs they have more knowledge than my "A" and I had.

I hope that helps.

Much Love,

The child of alcoholics is more at risk, but NO, you are not bound to become an A. My husband is an alcoholic, two of his uncles died of the disease, his grandfather was one, but he is the only one of his sisters and brothers to have the disease. Our children know that they are more at risk than other people, so they know they have to be careful. One of the ways to look after yourself is to not drink at all until you are an adult. The chances of developing the disease if you wait until you are in your twenties to ever drink are much smaller. Another thing you can do is to find better ways to deal with bad feelings and the problems of your life, than hiding them, denying them, and using unhealthy ways to make yourself feel better. Coming to a site like this to talk about your life is exactly the right way to help protect yourself against this disease. If you can find an alateen meeting near you, that will also help you a lot. Alcoholics are people who have never grown up emotionally, who have never learned to face their fears, and to just allow themselves to FEEL their negative emotions. Every time you honestly talk out your feelings, every time you speak the truth even though you are scared, every time you let another person know the real you, you are innoculating yourself against this disease. Keep spending your time in healthy, open places, know that you are a worthwhile person, be true to yourself.

Princess,

Scientists have studied this theory for many many years.  Many of them have come to different conclusions, this is because there are NEVER absolutes in life.  Life is so variable, the future is not certain for any of us.

The best research I have read states that alcoholism tends to run in families because of PSYCHOLOGICAL reasons, NOT phsyical.  Although some people seem to enjoy alcohol more than others, this does not mean they are doomed to become addicted though.

Children of alcoholics are a little more likey to become alcoholics because alcohol is the way their parents have taught them to deal with the struggles in life.  They never learn other healthier more productive ways.

When things go wrong, their parents drink, and the problems continue, so the parents continue to drink.  They children are never SHOWN healthy and productive ways to deal with problems.  So, the children grow up without needed skills often, so, when the going gets rough, they do what they have seen is the "normal" way to do things, they drink.  Sad...

I personally know MANY people who grew up with alcoholic parents (and alcoholic gradnparents, and so on) who are NOT alcoholics.  Mainly due to the influence of OTHER people in their lives, teachers, neighbors, family members, people that taught them coping skills that did not involve addictive drugs.

My own Father in Law is an example.  He grew up very poor in the south, with a family rampant with alcoholism.  Poverty and alcoholism go hand in hand often .  His father moved them up here to the north during World War II.  My Father in Law seized his chance to have a different life than being a drunk.  He worked VERY VERY hard in school, and took care of himself physically so he became a sports star in High School.  He got a full athletic scholarship to college and worked very hard and graduated.  He then got acedemic scholarships to get a Masters Degree.  He knew if he ever drank a drop of alcohol he would lose his motivation to work hard, as he had seen so many family members do.  He has never drank his whole life, he wanted a better life than what he had grown up with, and was willing to WORK for it.

He was a High School Principal and a role model to many young people, telling his story and teaching them a better way of life.  He has never drank a drop of alcohol his entire life, and my husband (his son) says that alcohol was never ever permitted in his home.  He still does not allow a drop of alcohol in his home. 

Just make sure that you try to develop healthy mentoring relationships with healthy adults.  even if you are out of school, try to do this through work or even professional mentoring organizations.   Read books about coping skills. do ALL you can to learn a DIFFERENT way to deal with life than those that your parents chose...alcohol.

You are smart princess, smart enough to realize their is a problem and to know where to come for help.  You have all of the skills you need to break free of the unhealthy pattern your parents have fallen in.  I believe in you...and your ability to find a better way.

With love and support,

Isabela 

I've heard it CAN run in families..but it does not have to.

My Mother and her father were alcoholics. My father and his brother were alcoholics. None of my siblings or myself are. So we ahve skipped a generation there. On my husband's side..his grandfather and father are alcohlics and my husband also is. So this time it DID pass thru to the next generation. I think they say it CAn be genetically transferred. But you know wht? If the kids never drink...learn healthy ways to deal with problems and with life...it will pass them right by.

LIN