Hi Everyone! 

My name is Jenny.  I just found this site, and not a minute too soon.  I'm having a really rough time lately.  It's hard for me to go to meetings in my area because a lot of my qualifier's (my husband's) friends go to the Alanon meetings around here, and I don't feel comfortable sharing in front of them. 

When I got married three years ago, my husband had 2 years sober.  I didn't have any experience with addicts in my life, and had no idea how things could be.  Four days after our wedding, my mother-in-law passed away.  That day he relapsed.  Then he went back to meetings and relapsed again a couple of months later, staying out all night at after-hours clubs.  Then he went back to the meetings.  A couple months after that, he relapsed again, this time bringing home a girl's phone number he had met while he was out there.  Then he went back to the meetings.  A couple months after that....the same old story.  Last year he went to a detox for abusing codeine pills he was prescribed for a horrible construction accident he had.  He then went to rehab and came out and everything seemed to be fine.  A few weeks ago, I found out he'd been taking the codeine again, the minute he got out of rehab.  He went to another detox, and came out only to start drinking and abusing another medication.  I know I'm supposed to keep the focus on myself, but I need to tell my story, just to get it out. Thanks for listening.  I'm trying to go through the steps and grow and heal, but it's hard being married to someone who lies constantly.  I wish I had a reality I could depend on.

I like this site and I hope that it will help me, and that I'll be able to share my experience, strength and hope to help others.

Jenny

Welcome to MIP Al-Anon JennyLynn.  So glad you found us.  This is a great place to share and learn.  Please try to come to our online chat room as well, we have meetings there twice a day.  The link is on this page "Meeting/Chat Room".

Again welcome!

Yours in Recovery,

David

Hi Jenny,

Glad you shared, you are not alone, your situation is very similar to minr.  By attending Al-Anon meetings and coming here, I am slowly learning and understanding the concepts of Al-Anon, the most important for me is focusing on myself and handling chaos as it comes my way.  Al-Anon has taught me this.  Dont get me wrong, sometimes my emotions get the best of me and I become obsessed with worry, anger, resentment, exhausted because I dont trust, you know. 

Despite all of this,   I know I love my A but I cant control his disease, nor did I cause it nor can I cure it.  The three c's have been running thru my head since his last relaspe.  He is in recovery once again and if he relaspes, I will continue to love him.  But the most important aspect for me is to love myself as much.  Sometimes this is easier said than done but it doesnt leave my mind as often when the reality of addiction hits home.  I can detach easier. 

Your strength is evident,  keep working the steps,  reading Al-Anon literature and come here! 

Hugs. 

Welcome Jennylyn,

So glad you found us.  This is a great place to share your stories, hopes & fears.  I found it about 2 months ago and have learned alot from these great, caring & encouraging people.  Even in the short time i have been in Alanon, I have found a little serenity & peace of mind.

Keep posting, reading, listening, chatting, and going to meetings.

Happy to have you among us.

Yours in Recovery

Kathy570

Hi Jenny , sorry ufeel u can't go to meetings because of your husb friends. Your friends are there for the same reason u would be , they love an alchohoic, and I suspect they know all about your husb problem.

 Anonymity is the foundation of our prog and i trust  it,hope u will too one day.This board is great but nothing like the support u will find in a f2f meeting and besides your friends are already  there.  good luck  Louise