Moving forward was one of the topics of last nights online meeting.
I am working very hard on moving forward.
This is after 3 1/2 years of stagnation and hoping things would change.
Waiting around for things to change.
Wishing that my life was different.
But last July I found alanon and became aware that I had choices in my life.
I did not have to support an active alcoholic who no longer worked and drank 24/7 even though I was married to him for 14 years.
This was a revelation.
Choices are a revelation.
My life living with my alcoholic once he gave up his promising and lucrative sales career for a drinking career was hell.
I left our place as often as I could to avoid the insanity that was our life.
I finally left for good in May.
I was up to 4 sleeping pills a night to sleep through my A's attempts to wake me up.
I had gained 30 pounds in the 6 months since he relasped and my blood pressure was sky high.
I filed for divorce 2 weeks ago.
He is out of control and I need legal protection from God only knows what he does when drinking 24/7.
I was MOVING FORWARD.
He has not yet gotten the divorce complaint.
He has started to call me.
He wants me to give him the new password to our online blockbuster account. he tells me, oh, the movies are so good for me to watch.
He wants me to co-sign the lease on his apartment - I told him I don't live there why should I sign? He said they require 2 signatures (duh...one from someone with a job) I said I would ask my lawyer about it.
I am loneley and vulnerable.
BUT I HAVE ENOUGH ALANON (1 year 1 month) to not MOVE BACKWARDS
Just me today. It is so interesting and SAD to watch the manipulations with an opened up mind...
megan
tullemars said
Aug 9, 2005
Stay Strong.
Life has been patiently waiting for you. (Rascal flats)
I am not far behind you.
I am also getting stronger.
You are not alone.
We are here.
megan said
Aug 9, 2005
Hi Tullmars
Life has been patiently waiting for you. (Rascal flats)
I like this line, thanks for the post.
It is good to know that I am not on the journey alone.
This past weekend I spent with my sister at her lake house and it was nice to relax and see how people live who are not suffering from the debilitating affects of alcoholism.
Yes, life is patiently waiting for me, and for you too
Megan
swolves said
Aug 9, 2005
Megan, I had this card hanging on the wall in my office that simply said
" when your going thru hell...keep going". Your strength is inspiring.
swolves
Christy said
Aug 9, 2005
Boy, are those lyrics appropriate!!
Here they are:
Artist: Rascal Flatts Lyrics
Song: I'm Movin' On Lyrics
I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on
I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on
Chorus
I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone
I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on
megan said
Aug 9, 2005
when your going thru hell...keep going".
hey this one is PERFECT! Thanks for the quote, this is getting printed up and going on my office wall!
Hi Christy
Thank-you for posting the lyrics.
This is EXACTLY my life.
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on
This is me, today, so nice to see I have company along the road.
Carol said
Aug 9, 2005
I to am movin on. Sometimes it feels great sometimes it feels peaceful and sometimes it just sucks, but through this program I have learned "this to shall pass" and I trust a HP today that will get us through. I know today when I walk through the pain I gain so much. When my A calls and talks his stuff, I keep remembering that nothing has changed and I will keep living the way I did. I also have to remember that if I continue to help him I am enabling him. We are all in this together, and I am glad we have one another.
megan said
Aug 9, 2005
Excellent points Carol. "This too shall pass" I will say that phrase over and over and over, until I can actually believe it.
I too share the wide range of emotions that you are experiencing
I am glad that we have one another too.
Tammy said
Aug 9, 2005
Oh my gosh Megan,.. You are so far down a path that seems out of my reach. Maybe in time i will reach the place where you are today.. You give me hope..
Hope for a better tomorrow.
Thank you
Tammy
garom said
Aug 9, 2005
Dear Megan,
Give yourself a pat on the back for being able to change the things you can.
Moving forward was one of the topics of last nights online meeting.
I am working very hard on moving forward.
This is after 3 1/2 years of stagnation and hoping things would change.
Waiting around for things to change.
Wishing that my life was different.
But last July I found alanon and became aware that I had choices in my life.
I did not have to support an active alcoholic who no longer worked and drank 24/7 even though I was married to him for 14 years.
This was a revelation.
Choices are a revelation.
My life living with my alcoholic once he gave up his promising and lucrative sales career for a drinking career was hell.
I left our place as often as I could to avoid the insanity that was our life.
I finally left for good in May.
I was up to 4 sleeping pills a night to sleep through my A's attempts to wake me up.
I had gained 30 pounds in the 6 months since he relasped and my blood pressure was sky high.
I filed for divorce 2 weeks ago.
He is out of control and I need legal protection from God only knows what he does when drinking 24/7.
I was MOVING FORWARD.
He has not yet gotten the divorce complaint.
He has started to call me.
He wants me to give him the new password to our online blockbuster account. he tells me, oh, the movies are so good for me to watch.
He wants me to co-sign the lease on his apartment - I told him I don't live there why should I sign? He said they require 2 signatures (duh...one from someone with a job) I said I would ask my lawyer about it.
I am loneley and vulnerable.
BUT I HAVE ENOUGH ALANON (1 year 1 month) to not MOVE BACKWARDS
Just me today. It is so interesting and SAD to watch the manipulations with an opened up mind...
megan
Stay Strong.
Life has been patiently waiting for you. (Rascal flats)
I am not far behind you.
I am also getting stronger.
You are not alone.
We are here.
Hi Tullmars
Life has been patiently waiting for you. (Rascal flats)
I like this line, thanks for the post.
It is good to know that I am not on the journey alone.
This past weekend I spent with my sister at her lake house and it was nice to relax and see how people live who are not suffering from the debilitating affects of alcoholism.
Yes, life is patiently waiting for me, and for you too
Megan
Megan, I had this card hanging on the wall in my office that simply said
" when your going thru hell...keep going". Your strength is inspiring.
swolves
when your going thru hell...keep going".
hey this one is PERFECT! Thanks for the quote, this is getting printed up and going on my office wall!
Hi Christy
Thank-you for posting the lyrics.
This is EXACTLY my life.
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on
This is me, today, so nice to see I have company along the road.
Excellent points Carol. "This too shall pass" I will say that phrase over and over and over, until I can actually believe it.
I too share the wide range of emotions that you are experiencing
I am glad that we have one another too.
Dear Megan,
Give yourself a pat on the back for being able to change the things you can.
Your friend,
Garom
Megan,
Your strength is an inspiration.
mom to 2