It occured to me one day when I made a short list of feelings I had been having that they spelled out a word, as I had writen them in a list.
Shame
Confusion
Anger
Resentment
Frustration
It made me think...alot. I realized that for the last 18 years I had been knitting a scarf made of these horrible threads. I had worked on it off and on for a really long time and had started to wrap it around my own neck. It was made of irritating stuff and had gotten very heavy, to the point of sufficating me. But I still added to it, on a regular basis. Years went by and I continued to knit this scarf. The day arrived not so long ago that the weight of it crushed me. I reached out from under this pile in a last ditch effort and found Al-Anon. Thanks to the program and all the wonderful people in its rooms I have stopped knitting this vile thing and have started to unravel it. Daily I pull at those threads and they have started to fall away. I can now stand up again and see past it. I look forward to the day that it is gone. I know that on some days I will forget to pull and might even pick up those knitting needles and go to work on it again. If I work my program every day and let my HP do his work, it will slowly become lighter and softer, to become something I can carry without it getting in the way of my happiness.
thanks for letting me share
Swolves
cdb said
Aug 2, 2005
Hello Swolves,
Thanks for sharing your fascinating insight with me. I was thinking that maybe now the F could stand for friends instead of frustration. I would sure be willing to help you unravel that heavy scarf with you so you alone won't have to do all the work. Once it gets into a thread ball again your friends can help make it into a sweater to keep you warm and safe. Keep up the good insight into your life. You have shown such growth and strength! your friend in recovery, cdb :)
megan said
Aug 2, 2005
Hi Swolves
I have the same scarf all knitted up and a mile long.
thank-you so much for the picturesque analogy.
I am woking very hard to unravel the suffocating thread too.
Thanks for the visual
In support
megan
shimo said
Aug 2, 2005
WOW! Swolves,
What a powerful analogy! As I read it I am thinking that would be a wonderful submission for the Forum. Thank you so much for sharing.
Love in recovery - Shimo (Jeri)
whitie said
Aug 3, 2005
Swolves,
I love that! I had to laugh though because one of things I've taken up to relieve stress is knitting! And of course what I do best is scarves. Maybe I'll try the recommended sweater!
Thanks,
Whitie
MrBlue42 said
Aug 3, 2005
((((Swolves))))
Wow!!! What an interesting analogy!! I can certainly see that heavy awful scarf that we all have had and some still have. Thanks for putting it into an easily seen visual for me. Good luck in continuing to unravel it and making it into something more useful :)
MrBlue42
david62 said
Aug 4, 2005
Wow.....((((swolves))))
I agree with Shimo! That would be a great thing to submit to the Forum.
It occured to me one day when I made a short list of feelings I had been having that they spelled out a word, as I had writen them in a list.
Shame
Confusion
Anger
Resentment
Frustration
It made me think...alot. I realized that for the last 18 years I had been knitting a scarf made of these horrible threads. I had worked on it off and on for a really long time and had started to wrap it around my own neck. It was made of irritating stuff and had gotten very heavy, to the point of sufficating me. But I still added to it, on a regular basis. Years went by and I continued to knit this scarf. The day arrived not so long ago that the weight of it crushed me. I reached out from under this pile in a last ditch effort and found Al-Anon. Thanks to the program and all the wonderful people in its rooms I have stopped knitting this vile thing and have started to unravel it. Daily I pull at those threads and they have started to fall away. I can now stand up again and see past it. I look forward to the day that it is gone. I know that on some days I will forget to pull and might even pick up those knitting needles and go to work on it again. If I work my program every day and let my HP do his work, it will slowly become lighter and softer, to become something I can carry without it getting in the way of my happiness.
thanks for letting me share
Swolves
Hello Swolves,
Thanks for sharing your fascinating insight with me. I was thinking that maybe now the F could stand for friends instead of frustration. I would sure be willing to help you unravel that heavy scarf with you so you alone won't have to do all the work. Once it gets into a thread ball again your friends can help make it into a sweater to keep you warm and safe. Keep up the good insight into your life. You have shown such growth and strength! your friend in recovery, cdb :)
Hi Swolves
I have the same scarf all knitted up and a mile long.
thank-you so much for the picturesque analogy.
I am woking very hard to unravel the suffocating thread too.
Thanks for the visual
In support
megan
WOW! Swolves,
What a powerful analogy! As I read it I am thinking that would be a wonderful submission for the Forum. Thank you so much for sharing.
Love in recovery - Shimo (Jeri)
((((Swolves))))
Wow!!! What an interesting analogy!! I can certainly see that heavy awful scarf that we all have had and some still have. Thanks for putting it into an easily seen visual for me. Good luck in continuing to unravel it and making it into something more useful :)
MrBlue42
Wow.....((((swolves))))
I agree with Shimo! That would be a great thing to submit to the Forum.
Thanks so much for sharing that with us!
David