It lasted longer than (deep down inside) I thought it would.. Tonight was the second night in a row that I came home (my daughter just had a baby) and he was drunk. I believe he found some vodka last night. Tonight, he had over 10 beer,(according to him) so that means more! Yadda, yadda yadda.. You all know the routine!
It seems that whenever I have anything to do with my family, especially my daughter, he decides to drink.
Wow, LL your topic on boundaries really hit a nerve tonight!! I told him if he was going to drink, I wanted him no-where near me( After he punched me in the face a couple years ago.) I just told him a little while ago that his daughter was right. She said she has no respect for a woman that would take him back after that and didn't want to hear any more.
He figured it would be ok to drink here because he used to go to his cottage for weeks on end and knew if he did that again, it would really be the end of us.
I know, I know.. I made a mistake, I bit the bullet. I promised myself I would never argue with him when he's drunk. That was my boundary to myself I broke tonight. (Really screwed up this time). He was so proud of himself that he took a shower, so that meant he wasn't drunk (sic). I stripped the bed today and went to see my daughter. The bed wasn't made so he said he couldn't go to bed when I told him to, because I really didn't want to argue. He said it isn't made. I said I would have made it, but won't now because he's drunk, and I'm not sleeping in it!!
Anyway, I told him I didn't want to be near him because he's such an idiot when he drinks. He went and got another beer, and tried to argue. I told him he has hurt me too many times because of alcohol, and the punch in the face was the last straw and I'll never forget it. Then he pretended he had forgotten it, then got beligerant ?(sp) and said he could do better than that.
Well, when I told him what his daughter had said to me, he said,"that hurt" and went to bed.
There was a lot more said before that. I told him I deserve better than that, and I da** well do!! I told him if he's going to drink, he has to drink somewhere else. He said, and then what? I said I don't need him.
We were so happy...sigh.But I WILL NOT GO BACK TO THAT LIFE!!!!! I have become self-sufficient, my mortgage is paid off, I can support myself. I have learned self-respect, self-love, and best of all, I know I don't need any man. Believe me, I've come a looong way since I started coming to Alanon. Thank you, thank-you thank you!! Love ya all, TLC
debilyn said
Aug 1, 2005
tlc, this was a good post. I felt something in you, a freshness, a hmmm
feeling of hope and no fear.
You know I have never thought I did not need a man. I really have always liked
them a lot.
But alanon helped me to need one in a healthy way and really I want one. Well I ' want
my a...but sadly, he just well I don't know.
anyway hugs and you keep going lady. love,debilyn
mom to 2 said
Aug 1, 2005
I just want to say-good for you! You sound so strong. Continued success.
mom to 2
mamasan said
Aug 1, 2005
Hi TLC2
You do sound very determined. I think this is a good thing you have going for yourself. Just keep itup! Don't waiver!! YOU are in control now. He's not, he's drunk! hugs4u
TLC2 said
Aug 1, 2005
Thank-you for your encouraging replies, they mean a lot to me. I went to see my daughter tonight, and my handsome new grandson:) ,and I don't think he's even had a beer tonight. He's outside, but looks sober.
I told my daughter if she wanted to come over (there's noisy construction going on at her apartment) that I would come get her and take her home. It's so peaceful here (when he's not drinking). I'm not putting my family on the back burner to keep him happy.
Anyway, please pray with me that he smartens up, or if he doesn't, that I can stay strong and stick to my boundaries. I love the da** fool so much, but will never go back on that rollercoaster.(please God..)
Thanks friends, Love TLC
cdb said
Aug 2, 2005
Hello TLC,
You do sound so strong to me too and what great boundaries you have made to keep yourself safe and happy. You are setting an excellent example for your daughter too. Congratulations on the new grandbaby! They sure can put us back into reality and see what changes need to be made in our life. I am going to bed soon and you will be the first one on my prayer list. When people ask for prayers I am more than willing to pray for them. Stay strong. your friend in recovery, cdb :)
Well friends,
It lasted longer than (deep down inside) I thought it would.. Tonight was the second night in a row that I came home (my daughter just had a baby) and he was drunk. I believe he found some vodka last night. Tonight, he had over 10 beer,(according to him) so that means more! Yadda, yadda yadda.. You all know the routine!
It seems that whenever I have anything to do with my family, especially my daughter, he decides to drink.
Wow, LL your topic on boundaries really hit a nerve tonight!! I told him if he was going to drink, I wanted him no-where near me( After he punched me in the face a couple years ago.) I just told him a little while ago that his daughter was right. She said she has no respect for a woman that would take him back after that and didn't want to hear any more.
He figured it would be ok to drink here because he used to go to his cottage for weeks on end and knew if he did that again, it would really be the end of us.
I know, I know.. I made a mistake, I bit the bullet. I promised myself I would never argue with him when he's drunk. That was my boundary to myself I broke tonight. (Really screwed up this time). He was so proud of himself that he took a shower, so that meant he wasn't drunk (sic). I stripped the bed today and went to see my daughter. The bed wasn't made so he said he couldn't go to bed when I told him to, because I really didn't want to argue. He said it isn't made. I said I would have made it, but won't now because he's drunk, and I'm not sleeping in it!!
Anyway, I told him I didn't want to be near him because he's such an idiot when he drinks. He went and got another beer, and tried to argue. I told him he has hurt me too many times because of alcohol, and the punch in the face was the last straw and I'll never forget it. Then he pretended he had forgotten it, then got beligerant ?(sp) and said he could do better than that.
Well, when I told him what his daughter had said to me, he said,"that hurt" and went to bed.
There was a lot more said before that. I told him I deserve better than that, and I da** well do!! I told him if he's going to drink, he has to drink somewhere else. He said, and then what? I said I don't need him.
We were so happy...sigh.But I WILL NOT GO BACK TO THAT LIFE!!!!! I have become self-sufficient, my mortgage is paid off, I can support myself. I have learned self-respect, self-love, and best of all, I know I don't need any man. Believe me, I've come a looong way since I started coming to Alanon. Thank you, thank-you thank you!! Love ya all, TLC
I just want to say-good for you! You sound so strong. Continued success.
mom to 2
Hi TLC2
You do sound very determined. I think this is a good thing you have going for yourself. Just keep itup! Don't waiver!! YOU are in control now. He's not, he's drunk! hugs4u
Thank-you for your encouraging replies, they mean a lot to me. I went to see my daughter tonight, and my handsome new grandson:) ,and I don't think he's even had a beer tonight. He's outside, but looks sober.
I told my daughter if she wanted to come over (there's noisy construction going on at her apartment) that I would come get her and take her home. It's so peaceful here (when he's not drinking). I'm not putting my family on the back burner to keep him happy.
Anyway, please pray with me that he smartens up, or if he doesn't, that I can stay strong and stick to my boundaries. I love the da** fool so much, but will never go back on that rollercoaster.(please God..)
Thanks friends, Love TLC
Hello TLC,
You do sound so strong to me too and what great boundaries you have made to keep yourself safe and happy. You are setting an excellent example for your daughter too. Congratulations on the new grandbaby! They sure can put us back into reality and see what changes need to be made in our life. I am going to bed soon and you will be the first one on my prayer list. When people ask for prayers I am more than willing to pray for them. Stay strong. your friend in recovery, cdb :)