I'v closed my door to this (A)  person and this (A) still returns with a vengence,

Can anyone help me with how to calm the inner self?? I let all that is stressing me in Gods hands and I don't let this stuff get to me.But when I sleep at nite it hits me it wakes me I dream of the stress going on. I must be lieing to myself saying im ok after dealing with this person. Cause I feel I haven't slept forever.

 

Would love some hint's to a little inner peace..

 

WStar

((Wstar)) We have a lifetime of learned behaviors, it takes a whole bunch to rid ourselves of them and they always want to creep back in. Some days I do great, other days WHAP!! Right up side the head. I just trust that whatever is happening in my life is supposed to happen and I'm supposed to learn something from it. Sometimes I don't get it till much further down the road (most times in fact..lol) I wish I had answers for you. Just know that your HP loves you very much and that as you do the Alanon steps, even more peace will come to you. You might try to ask your HP for guidance when things just won't go away, sit down and write a gratitude list, journaling may help too. Sometimes it helps me to stop and look back and see where I was and how far I've come. That confirms to me I'm on the right path :) None of those things are a quick fix, or a certain fix for that matter, but maybe helpful. Keep pluggin away.. Christy (Cjo)

Hi Wstar welcome -- I'm sorry you have that trouble to wake up to. In addition to turning it over... I have a few things that have worked for me. No eating for 4 hour before I go to sleep. Either exercise with that target heartrate business or a brisk walk or yoga breathing (you can get a good yoga DVD for a few bucks in a bin at WalMart or somewhere like that) but these need to be well before you go to sleep. I'm more likely to sleep peacefully through the night, especially when I also turn it over to my HP. Someone said here the other day if you pray, why worry & if you worry, why pray? I liked it.  Oh, and singing calms my mind, too. Even if I'm singing by myself, a song with lots of drawn out vowels or chanting helps me to keep the beasts away. These are the quick band-aids. For long term having my act together (and I will), it took working the 12 steps.  Take care --  Jill

I sure relate to this. What I believe is we have to let it out. Meetings and coming here , venting, spitting out all that poison. Another thing, that is super important, "anti-stressors!!!" We need joy, we need to smile we need to cry too. We need to laugh!! So for me, i rented, lol, The big Lebowski, with Jeff Bridges. I laugh everytime I see that dumb thing. Then I even bought it...I have an animal sanctuary, I watch these crazy animals doing funny things. I have a tiny goat who thinks he is a dog and lvoe to ride in my pickup. The dogs hate going in my pickup. I have a horse who would come in my house if the door were open. My turkeys like to come in the cat door and sleep in the cat room. I guess for me living in a happy place, Potter's Eden helps heal me. My dogs are nutcases and I enjoy them ever so much. I plant flowers, I collect pig things. I love to snoop in Goodwill. The Bible is the greatest guide for me. I work on my faith, I surrrender my whole self to my hp. I live one day at a time. Do my best each day, take care of what I can each day, and rarely ever do I worry! And I used to be the worst worrier. I love to play, be eccentric, unique. I am not afraid to admit when I make a mistake. I like me, my not flat tummy and all. I like seeing my hair getting grey, cuz with the grey I am getting curly hair. Been working on me. Focusing on my life, my path. NO longer allowing the A's bs to hurt me. Filling my life with light, and smiles and laughter. I get kittens, rescue Basset hounds and pot bellied pigs. Been blessed with 5 acres of beautiful land, so I work on that all the time. It is hard to realize when we feel heavy with grief and pain, that it is ok to be ok. It is ok to work on makig ourselves feel better. Go feed the ducks, go walk the dogs at the humane society. Go hang out at a nursing home. volunteer at a school or anywhere doing what YOU love. Creation, plays, all mammal have a sense of play. It is vital!! So anyway there is how i do it.....You will know me if you see me, I am the nut in a pink lacy top, with earings and bracelets, in my doc Martin sandals, and best of all... my overalls to top it off!! ps found my docs at Goodwilll so I dare you to have fun.... come to Potter's Eden in Oregon. Love,debilyn

WStar,

You sure have some great suggestions above! Just know you are not alone. I too use to have the dreams continually about the alcoholic plus all kinds of problems even though during the day I thought I was better. The more meetings I went to and the more I worked my program the less the dreams became. In fact, I even wake up at night sometimes typing with my fingers in my sleep LOLOL. So it works to fill your mind with other things as much as you can. your friend in recovery, cdb :)

WStar I also practice yoga and it's been a life saver for me. It teaches you how to calm down when you practice breathing techniques. I even fell asleep once while my a husband was trying to keep me awake. Quite often now he's awake when I come to bed and he wants to talk or argue. I try to shut him down and start me breathing and I wake up when he huffs out of the bedroom! Of course there are nights when that doesn't work but mostly it does. Ala-non has been my other life saver.I started with the face to face meetings three years ago. The people are very warm and understanding because we've all been where you are. This message board allows us all to vent and that is a must some days. You might also try some of the books. They are available here on line. Keep coming back! Whitie