Dad is doing well according to doctor. :) Guess he did have a touch of pneumonia too,,,whew! But all sounded well today in his lungs and the antibiotic did work for him. Now to get me feeling better. If I was needed to help them out I don't know if I could have anyway since I am still pretty much under the weather myself. I never did mention it to my parents. One day at a time for me too. Well could use prayers for my hubby and my marriage. I don't know what is going on with him. He seems to think an overweight wife is not worth loving I guess. What is wrong with this picture? I know it has to do with his own issues and his own problems but it sure does affect my happiness with my marriage and I do want it to last. Well enough about me. Thanks again for your prayers and all your support. Dad is still in congestive heart failure but can still live for a long time with that. I am so glad he made it through this pneumonia scare so he can still be there for my mom. cdb :)
marmare said
Jul 20, 2005
It seems that the A's always know what to say to us to hurt us.
One day about 3 years ago during a conversation about how little we had sex he said, "I haven't been attracted to you in a very long time." I was devastated, as I have always battled with my weight and I had let myself go, had been depressed and so involved in the misery of my life with him, that I had gone all the way up to 215lbs. I am only 5'3", barely. I tried to diet and excercise to get him to love me more....then one day I just quit.....that was three years ago.
I started working on my issues last August, and about 12 weeks ago I started only buying healthy food for the house, veggies, fruit etc., no chips, pop, or cookies. I have lost 18lbs, but am only trying to get healthy, not so much lose weight. I feel great about me....I am sleeping better. I truly amazes me, yeah I have put on weight but so has he, his cholesterol is through the roof, he has no energy, sleep apnea, and does nothing but go to work unless I push for it. A couple of weeks ago, I decided I wasn't waiting any longer for him to mow the lawn, I just did it. I can do just about anything myself and what I can't do I will find someone who can. I have found so much support through friends and neighbors by being honest and not denying or minimizing the problem.
Hang in there, Hugs Mary
isabela40 said
Jul 21, 2005
cdb, mary,
This seems to be a common thread amongst many of us, depression that is the end result of living with an abusive (even if just emotionally) "A" for so many years often leads to weight gain.
I notice that my "A"'s self esteem is incredible. He has never stopped going to the gym daily, through sickness, and now he has a slipped disk and he STILL goes. The alcohol anesthatizes most of his pain so he can lift and run through it (against doctors orders).
Meanwhile, since I have to pick up the slack for him in EVERYTHING at home (I am not talking about enabling here, merely life as a single parent since he does not lift a finger for daughter). I do ALL of the housework, he has NEVER lifted a broom or even knows what a dustpan is, or a swiffer, or window cleaner or a paper towel, and he NEVER cooks, shops or does anything. He says his "contribution" to the household is to keep a roof over our heads and to pay our co-pays on the medical bills. I have to work for groceries and clothes, shampoo, etc. for daughter and I.
Well, this means that I have little timie for exercise.
Why don't we support each other in taking care of OURSELVES!? This is also a part of recovery in my opinion. I am talking about health issues here. Being overweight is very dangerous as we get older, and often leads to early disability. I know just TOO many overweight women who have to rely on walkers and scooters at younger and younger ages...sad.
Why don't we all commit to doing one thing every day to take care of ourselves physically? Develop one new habit a month? Such as for August, committing to having only lowfat healthy protein, fruit, and/or veggies for breakfast (processed food like cereal, bagels, etc. just are NOT good for you). Then each month pick a new habit? Like September add lunch to our healthy habits? Then in October no snacking between meals? Just ideas.
I am doing this no matter what and have already lost 7 pounds. I would LOVE some company and support...
Isabela
PS Please take care of yourself cdb, each bout I have with pneumonia is worse and leaves more scar tissue in my lungs. Please take care of yourself so you don't get it again! Sugar inhibits our immune system so now that you are sick try to eat only healthy food like chicken soup with veggies or water. Watch dairy as it induces mucus in the lungs.
megan said
Jul 21, 2005
Hi CDB
I am so happy to hear that your Dad is feeling better.
The weight.
I am 50 pounds heavier, weight that I have gained in the last 3 years since my husband got fired and started 24/7 drinking
I was always thin and now I am fat.
I am working on this and am buying healthy food and exercising.
My family has a history of high blood pressure and heart attack so I MUST get the weight off.
3 of my brothers do triathalons and I am going to do one in September.
Congrats to Isabela and Mary on the weight loss.
I am going to buy a scale today and join the heathy habit club
megan
cdb said
Jul 21, 2005
It sure helps to know that once again I am not alone with my feelings and my personal matters. My weight to me is a product of my unhappiness all these years along with other things too. I feel a little more up today and am trying really hard to not let anything or anyone get me down. I did sleep until after lunch again and know that I still am not well physically with the bronchitis. I have a doctor appt. soon too with my pain specialist. I am going to pace myself. Pacing myself sounds funny to me since pacing my self is slower than a turtle with all my health issues LOL. I did ask my husband if he wanted to go to Applebees for appetizers after my doc. appt and of course his answer was no. Why don't you get groceries instead. :( I will only get groceries if I am up to it for goodness sakes. I realized that I didn't really have the energy to go out anyway after I asked but didn't let his no answer get me down. I so agree the things you all replied too. Changes are good and yes we all need to take care of us and start new healthy behaviours. Thanks for your replies and for your support of my feelings. It sure helps to get my deepest feelings out and not keep them in. your friend in recovery, cdb :)
cloud said
Jul 21, 2005
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((cdb))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Glad dad is better and wow I bet him and mom know what a great daughter they have to always be there for them take a breather babe and do something great for you for atleast 15 min lol LOve ya cloud
Hello friends,
Dad is doing well according to doctor. :) Guess he did have a touch of pneumonia too,,,whew! But all sounded well today in his lungs and the antibiotic did work for him. Now to get me feeling better. If I was needed to help them out I don't know if I could have anyway since I am still pretty much under the weather myself. I never did mention it to my parents. One day at a time for me too. Well could use prayers for my hubby and my marriage. I don't know what is going on with him. He seems to think an overweight wife is not worth loving I guess. What is wrong with this picture? I know it has to do with his own issues and his own problems but it sure does affect my happiness with my marriage and I do want it to last. Well enough about me. Thanks again for your prayers and all your support. Dad is still in congestive heart failure but can still live for a long time with that. I am so glad he made it through this pneumonia scare so he can still be there for my mom. cdb :)
It seems that the A's always know what to say to us to hurt us.
One day about 3 years ago during a conversation about how little we had sex he said, "I haven't been attracted to you in a very long time." I was devastated, as I have always battled with my weight and I had let myself go, had been depressed and so involved in the misery of my life with him, that I had gone all the way up to 215lbs. I am only 5'3", barely. I tried to diet and excercise to get him to love me more....then one day I just quit.....that was three years ago.
I started working on my issues last August, and about 12 weeks ago I started only buying healthy food for the house, veggies, fruit etc., no chips, pop, or cookies. I have lost 18lbs, but am only trying to get healthy, not so much lose weight. I feel great about me....I am sleeping better. I truly amazes me, yeah I have put on weight but so has he, his cholesterol is through the roof, he has no energy, sleep apnea, and does nothing but go to work unless I push for it. A couple of weeks ago, I decided I wasn't waiting any longer for him to mow the lawn, I just did it. I can do just about anything myself and what I can't do I will find someone who can. I have found so much support through friends and neighbors by being honest and not denying or minimizing the problem.
Hang in there, Hugs Mary
cdb, mary,
This seems to be a common thread amongst many of us, depression that is the end result of living with an abusive (even if just emotionally) "A" for so many years often leads to weight gain.
I notice that my "A"'s self esteem is incredible. He has never stopped going to the gym daily, through sickness, and now he has a slipped disk and he STILL goes. The alcohol anesthatizes most of his pain so he can lift and run through it (against doctors orders).
Meanwhile, since I have to pick up the slack for him in EVERYTHING at home (I am not talking about enabling here, merely life as a single parent since he does not lift a finger for daughter). I do ALL of the housework, he has NEVER lifted a broom or even knows what a dustpan is, or a swiffer, or window cleaner or a paper towel, and he NEVER cooks, shops or does anything. He says his "contribution" to the household is to keep a roof over our heads and to pay our co-pays on the medical bills. I have to work for groceries and clothes, shampoo, etc. for daughter and I.
Well, this means that I have little timie for exercise.
Why don't we support each other in taking care of OURSELVES!? This is also a part of recovery in my opinion. I am talking about health issues here. Being overweight is very dangerous as we get older, and often leads to early disability. I know just TOO many overweight women who have to rely on walkers and scooters at younger and younger ages...sad.
Why don't we all commit to doing one thing every day to take care of ourselves physically? Develop one new habit a month? Such as for August, committing to having only lowfat healthy protein, fruit, and/or veggies for breakfast (processed food like cereal, bagels, etc. just are NOT good for you). Then each month pick a new habit? Like September add lunch to our healthy habits? Then in October no snacking between meals? Just ideas.
I am doing this no matter what and have already lost 7 pounds. I would LOVE some company and support...
Isabela
PS Please take care of yourself cdb, each bout I have with pneumonia is worse and leaves more scar tissue in my lungs. Please take care of yourself so you don't get it again! Sugar inhibits our immune system so now that you are sick try to eat only healthy food like chicken soup with veggies or water. Watch dairy as it induces mucus in the lungs.
Hi CDB
I am so happy to hear that your Dad is feeling better.
The weight.
I am 50 pounds heavier, weight that I have gained in the last 3 years since my husband got fired and started 24/7 drinking
I was always thin and now I am fat.
I am working on this and am buying healthy food and exercising.
My family has a history of high blood pressure and heart attack so I MUST get the weight off.
3 of my brothers do triathalons and I am going to do one in September.
Congrats to Isabela and Mary on the weight loss.
I am going to buy a scale today and join the heathy habit club
megan
It sure helps to know that once again I am not alone with my feelings and my personal matters. My weight to me is a product of my unhappiness all these years along with other things too. I feel a little more up today and am trying really hard to not let anything or anyone get me down. I did sleep until after lunch again and know that I still am not well physically with the bronchitis. I have a doctor appt. soon too with my pain specialist. I am going to pace myself. Pacing myself sounds funny to me since pacing my self is slower than a turtle with all my health issues LOL. I did ask my husband if he wanted to go to Applebees for appetizers after my doc. appt and of course his answer was no. Why don't you get groceries instead. :( I will only get groceries if I am up to it for goodness sakes. I realized that I didn't really have the energy to go out anyway after I asked but didn't let his no answer get me down. I so agree the things you all replied too. Changes are good and yes we all need to take care of us and start new healthy behaviours. Thanks for your replies and for your support of my feelings. It sure helps to get my deepest feelings out and not keep them in. your friend in recovery, cdb :)