Hi Megan

I am so proud of you for staying strong through all of this.  I keep you inside my head as an example of how to fight for myself and my children.  You gave me inspiration to leave, too. Even though I've done it before, this time I will make it permanent by getting a divorce. I am so sorry you had to go through all of that painful stuff, but I am happy that you finally put an end to it.  You are one brave person and should reward yourself for that.  You did it!!  And you just go ahead and cry, get it out, and keep on going.  I believe that you will be fine, more than fine.  You will find happiness and peace.  Just remember you are worth it.

Take care

Julie

You are a special person. You are worth it. You are a kind, nice, sweet, smart person. You will get though this. You  are strong person and you are going to make it thru this time. I am so proud of all the things you are done for your self. Don't forget that.

((((((((((((((Megan)))))))))))))))))

I'm so proud of you...that was a big step.  Did ya feel like just handing him the checkbook, and saying "Take what you want....it's worth it?"

Monetary gains can be regained, or not.  Sometimes, all that stuff can clutter your mind.  The less we have can give us a lot of freedom.

Yes, your progress inspires us.  Whether we stay or leave, the courage you have gained is an inspiration in itself.

You'll be okay....I'm just sure of it.

Your compassion when you found him on the road was a big test...and you passed it.

I'm thinking of you today.  Be good to yourself.  G

  Yes, I always thought a lawyer would tell me the facts and figures.  ( I needed alanon to help me with the emotions and strength to hold my head up first !  )

Anyway, Peace, Serenity, and Safety may be worth the price tag!  Prayers are with you.  I admire your courage and strength.

Megan,

I know how hard it is to go see the lawyer and say "I want a divorce"

I know how hard it is to write a $5000 retainer check when I don't have enough to pay the bills.  Actually, I put it on a credit card.  It's damn hard and sad--but liberating at the same time.

But most of all, I know that we both wish it had turned out differently.

love and peace.

mom to 2

Dear DEAR Megan ~!

Thanks so muich for posting how it went today ... I was praying it wouldn't be too horrible

Please allow me to add my bursting pride in your strength and my thanks to you for being SUCH a HUGE power of example of this program and God in action

I found the un-earthing the facts very hard too

personally , I am glad you are doing this * on grounds*  ... and I am glad the atty wants to do it that way

I am ALSO glad he passed you over to the less expensive associate , as , in my case it is the associates who actually DO the work ...and that strikes me as a fair and honest move on thier part

please be careful if they strongly suggest or worse , *demand* that you take out a "no contact restraining order on your hubby"  This was done in my case

The lawyer said it would butress my case , and quite frankly ... she never even mentioned it in court and my ex and I agree it was a ploy the lawyers used to force us to communicate through them and increase * billable hours*

I honestly felt that there were many things that my ex and i could have worked out on our own if we had been "allowed " to comminucate ... this order increased his animosity and deepened his anger and resolve to screw me over

soo ...just mentioning it , not to tell you what to do but to give you a head's up

as for the money... I can relate ... i had to borrow $5k for a retainer .. thats all the divorce was supposed to cost me ...

my ex would NOT co- operate ... forced into court about 6 times ... was being bankrolled by wealthy brother ....

i would simply be wary of toooo many hours

also ...my ex forced ME to explain where ALL of our $$$ had gone for TEN YRS
yep

10

i was sent an * interogatory*  ( i can send ya a copy if ya like)  and i was FORCED to dig thru and drudge up every cent spent

it damned near killed me , it was so hard HE was trying  to prove that i had wasted marital assets ( I hadnt )

so for you ... your atty can send an interogative to HIM to force him to divulge where every cent has gone

this is legal

my atty should have said " she is too ill to do this , we are NOT doin it .. let a JUDGE ask for it" but she DIDNT  and why not ?  BILLABLE HOURS

ok i have said too much

and   you have had a long day

maybe file these tips away for future reference

if i can spare YOU one bit of angst in this process that i went thru ... i will glady do it

love you so much

 you are one AMAZING LADY
Fi

Well Megs, You've managed it!!! Good for you!! You know I'm in the same position as you at the moment and listening to you just gives me more courage. Nothing changes if we don't make changes - right? Anyway girl, I'm right by your side and the changes you've made, in just a year, to have a more fulfilling life is just great!! Like you, I'm going to have a large bill too although the lawyer will get it when my house is sold (from the proceeds) so at least I don't have to pay up front!! I don't have the money anyway so that arrangement is useful. Keep strong.

Your friend in recovery,

Garom xx

HI Mom 2 to

 

Thank you for sharing your experience.

Yes it was very hard and sad to go in to get a divorce. I sure can relate.

I wanted to wait until August to go to the lawyer because that is when I would have the money saved.

Instead, after I found my husband wandering on the highway last week I knew he was far gone and I needed to protect myself from whatever he might be doing

So I used the checks from the credit card company. They send them to me a lot and now I used them. And then pay them off in August

 

Hi Fiona

 

Thank you for your pride in me it really helps to hear it

I am doing this on grounds so that I don’t have to wait the 18 months

I have taken your experiences and copied them to word and filed them for reference.

The lawyers gave me some spreadsheets to fill out about my pay and my expenses and I will work on them tomorrow morning while I wait for my sofas to be delivered

I would like the interrogative please

Thanks for giving me so much help with the process

 

Hi Graom

 

Thank you so much for your support.

Yes I made it to the lawyer – big step to do, a long time coming, but I am ready

The lawyer will freeze my husbands accounts. He has dais if I went after the money he would hide it.

This kind of motion costs more but the lawyer thinks it needs to be done

 

 

To all thanks so much for your support.

I thought to come home tonight and cry but instead I went for an extra long bike ride.

When I checked my mail, there was a care package from my younger sister in Texas. She sent me a longhorn cow magnet, a straw cowboy hat and a horsehoe with texas luck on it.

What the perfect day to get an unexpected present….

 

Megan,

I prayed for you the past few days -- that whatever happened, you would be alright.  It must feel good (after the pain and tears) to express all that has been bottled up inside of you.  Feel free to share with me when you need.

Keep coming :)

love Maria

Megan,

I am praying very very hard for things to go as smoothly as possible in this very difficult time for you.

I think you are doing the right thing to try and get your fair share before he successfully hides it or blows it all on whatever.

I know how difficult and horrible a divorce can be with someone vindictive.  Just remember that there are a lot of people here who love and care for you and who are pulling for you every step of the way.  We are always here for you if you need a hug, a listening ear, or a shoulder to cry on, we will do what we can to give you all of these things through this virtual world, but remember that the warm feelings we have for you are very real.

You are always in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

Isabela

 

Don't feel bad if you have to cry - you know you are doing the right thing, but that doesn't make it easy!

(((((Megan))))))

I know this time is mixed with a feeling of accomplishment for youself as well as sadness for the situation.  I to am proud of your steps forward into the life of serenity for yourself.  You have been an inspiration to many on this board with your wonderful posts.  I see with each one such great progress. 

Although the expense seems daunting at this moment - remember that it is only a temporary situation.  You have what you need and HP will provide the rest when you need it and not before. 

Walking through these painful situations is so difficult.  But as my sponsor has told me - if I am willing to take the journey of life - there is going to be pain along the way.  If I take the road around it - I will not know growth - for I am only repeating the mistakes of the past.  However, if I take the time to walk through the pain - the outcome on the other side will be far better than I can imagine.  I will also learn to appreciate myself and the situation all the more because I had the courage.  She also reminds me that I dont have to do it alone.  I can take my HP with me.

Congrats on your accomplishment.

Karen

Hello megan,

So sorry I didn't read this sooner. I have been in my own crisis with my daughter's slip. Those lawyers sure know how to sock it to you don't they? But like someone said, this is temporary as far as the lawyer thing. I will continue to say prayers for you my friend. Serenity and happiness are so close in your reach! The kind that you will have everyday. I am proud of you too. You are working your program and so very courageous! Your friend in recovery, cdb :)

Hi CDB

 

Thank you for the prayers and support.

yes I have made some very good progress along the road of recovery

 

I am sorry to read about your daughter and your family is in my prayers