In June I sent a note to my alcoholic husband of 14 year's sister.

i thanked her for her past kindness to me and told her that I had left her brother.

Under advisement of my therapist and from talking to people I did not tell her why.

She called me when she got the note and we talked briefly

On Sunday I got a call from his sister saying the family had not been able to get in touch with him, did I have some numbers they could call.

I gave them his cell and his home number and his address.

She asked for my address too and I gave it to her - she says my sisters-in-law want to send me a note.

She said when was the last time I heard from him and I said a week ago.

I said I am pulling into my apartment, let me put my bikes away and I will go over and see if he is alive.

So i went to my old apartment and opened the door to the chain and called his name.

he answered and let me in.

I said that his family and I were worried about him as his phone did not answer.

he said his cell phone did not work.

Codependednt that I am I started to tell him to go to the phone store in the mall then stopped myself. His broken cell phone is his stuff not mine.

Then I asked him where the home phone was and he got it.

I said, now keep that phone with you.

he said oh, then I should start using this phone instead of my cell phone?

I said, yes, very good idea.

And I left.

I called his sister back and asked her if she knew he was an alcoholic and she did. She told me that her mother had chosen drink over having her daughter help her when she broke her hip.

I told her drinking was not a choice for an alcoholic and she said this she knew.

I suggested alanon but she said she had already coped with things (NOT)....

I told her that her brother was very very sick and dying and yellow. I thought his family should know.

I have an appointment with a lawyer Wednesday to find out my legal obligations

megan

Hi Becky

Thank you for the kind reply.

Your friendship means so much to me and uyou have been holdong my hand so long.

Please know that I WILL NEVER Live like I used to live.

My recovery is too important to me and my family and my friends.

Hi Cloud,

Thank-you so much for the hugs. I reaally need them. I am working very very hard on my own recovery, it is what I can do. I missed you this weekend but felt you were there in spirit. We had good times and did some good work

Hi Mom to 2

I read a good passage from one of the campers on Saturday. It had to do with grief. Yes, I grieve for what we had. A grieve for the husband that I spemnt so many years sharing our lives together. We were good together until he got very sick. We boated, skiid, travelled, biked, entertained, lived very nice lives.

Then came the loss of his job and the sudden massive acceleration of his alcoholism.

I thank God for this board and alanon as I found recovery online here. 1 year ago. before I had a vehicle for face to face, before I knew what alcoholism was, it has saved me from insaniity

megan

Hi Karen

It was so good to spend time with you this weekend I learned so much.

Thank you for the ESH on setting boundaries with his family.

You are right. This is exactly what I need to do.

I will use the " I would state simply that she needed to speak with him about it, that I had no answers to why he drank or if he would stop. I would explain that I could not fix the situation, that the only thing I could do was to work on me and hope that the changes in me might instill changes at home."

That is perfect.

I have printed it out and highlighted it for myself.

I have intentionally involved his family but do not want to be in the middle of them and thier brother. This is the perfect thing to do.

Thank-you for the compliment, it really was an inspiring weekend that you put together.

People at work are saying WOW you are happy....and I am

Love in recovery

megan

PS I stopped at your lobster guy bfore I left and got myself a lobster and some steamers....ahhhhhh

Hi Richard and welcome

Alanon is the right place for you. My courage comes from:

online alanon at this website for months before I had a vehicle to get to meetings.

I walked to meetings, rode my bike to alanon meetings, stole my husbands keys and truck and went to alanon meetings

I attended the online meetings in the chat room when my husband was passed out (when not passed out he diconnected the internet and phone on me)

I walked the 5 miles to the library to read books on alcoholism and alanon.

I was so grateful to be given a Courage to Change book at my first alanon meeting. I had no money to buy one and I read that book to pieces over and over and over. I hid the book from my husband as he shred up my newcomer packet

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER

Thank-you for admiring my strength. IT took a long time coming. I have 1 year in alanon and countless hours listening to people share their experience strength and hope to me. I finally started to "GET IT" and threw myself into my recovery.

I want it bad!

Alanon is a process. If there could be a magic pill given to a hurting person living with the devastating effects of alcoholism the world would be a better place.

Have you attended any of our meetings in the chat room Richard? They are quite good.

and again, welcome and thank-you for the kind words

megan