Today I release old idealized versions of the past in exchange for a sturdy stance on firm ground.
One way I survived my childhood was to create an idealized version of it. ..... Long out of my family home I may still recreate versions of this idealized family among my friends and lovers. This may have an insidious effect on my sense of being grounded and able to act from a sturdy stance. For if my reality is not based on truth, it will always be vulnerable to tumbling down like Humpty Dumpty.
It feels frightening to stick to being real. I have often given myself the illusion of joy by nostalgically looking back on the idealized picture. But one day at a time I give myself a chance to stand on firmer soil. I do not avoid the fears that come with change. I allow others to be real. I allow myself to be exactly how I am.
---June 3rd, Daybreak by Maureen Brady; Hazelden Book/Harper Collins 1991
Today I release old idealized versions of the past in exchange for a sturdy stance on firm ground.
One way I survived my childhood was to create an idealized version of it. ..... Long out of my family home I may still recreate versions of this idealized family among my friends and lovers. This may have an insidious effect on my sense of being grounded and able to act from a sturdy stance. For if my reality is not based on truth, it will always be vulnerable to tumbling down like Humpty Dumpty.
It feels frightening to stick to being real. I have often given myself the illusion of joy by nostalgically looking back on the idealized picture. But one day at a time I give myself a chance to stand on firmer soil. I do not avoid the fears that come with change. I allow others to be real. I allow myself to be exactly how I am.
---June 3rd, Daybreak by Maureen Brady; Hazelden Book/Harper Collins 1991