Good morning folks,

 They say say it outloud so it doesnt have the same amount of power.I came here this morning have no where to go to say it.I am still out of a job both kids are working i feel like scum of the earth.

Last night we dug for change trying to get gas in the cars  and corn dogs for dinner. Kids are working this weekend and i am totally broke need to put gas in there car and food.

No one please write cant you get food stamps already tried was turned  down cause wer have 2 cars in family did i tell ym chruch they know they said are broke and i got a friend who is going to help but she cant till tues , well that is long way off.

called the kids dad he just made me feel worsty than i already do ok said it out loud no i dont feel better ha and no it didnt make it less overwelming.

 thanks for being here though didnt want to call alanon friends it is a holiday every one should be haveing big dinners and haveing fun not listing to me whine about no offod or gas money ha

dear((((((((((((((((((dori)))))))))))))) I do not know what state You are in but I have been there, I wish I could help you, I dont know if you have any resources like the salvation army or red cross or any food pantries in the area or not, but maybe u could enjoy a meal at one of the local area churches, that serve the community for those in need. If you were near me in Massachusetts I would welcome you here with open arms, I do not have much myself, but we have a rule no one is turned away from a meal always room for 1 more, Good luck my friend, and god bless your children for working hard to make you proud and helping. Love you cloud

P.S. ((((((((((((((((((Dori)))))))))))))) Your alanon family I am sure would want you to have a great holiday and would be there for you please hunnie call them they love you and understand that is why the offer thier phone numbers.

-- Edited by cloud at 13:35, 2005-07-03

(((((((((((((((((((((dori))))))))))))))))))) I hope the Western union I sent reaches you tomorrow, and I am glad someone helped you out tonight, I dont understand why her machine was down , but hopefully tomorrw you will get the money I sent, and please know it came from my heart, I do not have much , but have been where you are many times, Take care and enjoy the holiday with your kids, love cloud

oh dang, been there. Dori do you have a community college there? I am sure you might be eligible for grants. Maybe take a two year vocational training in something you would like to do. It would help your moral too. What is your career anyway. Forgive me, I forgot. I know, once my little son gave me the money he got for mowing lawns. I had to take it as it would have broken his heart if I hadn't. My dang renter abandoned and allowed her dogs to use the house as a dog litter box so I am struggling right now. Things will change here, so would you feel safe enough to send me your home address? I mean privately? I know the food panty stuff is ok, but we all eat a certain way and certain things. I have had to do it Dori. I was literally starving when A left the first time and I moved into my barn and rented my house. I cannot imagine if I had kids. Believe me I see you are carrying a lot. I wondered where you went. Did you go to your Face to face and vent? I remember someone leaving food at another members home. Do you know anyone with a garden? I loved sharing my stuff. Fresh stuff is what i mis. I hate to do westen union becuz it costs money to do it, rather give it to you. Maybe you have another address I could sent it to? We need to stick together. I would feel honored if you allow me to help a little. People helped me so much Dori. i am not kidding, i went down almost 4 sizes from not eating What i leaned was, in order for me to lose weight, I have to starve!! I was living on canned enchiladas and that fruit taffy stuff. geez. Love,debilyn

Hi Dori,

I am so sorry to hear about your predicament, I too have been there, and possibly worse, I had not even one car.

I lived for four years with no car, no TV, no radio, no phone, very little food, and I had to live in my bedroom as I could not afford to heat the entire apartment.  I turned off the heat in all rooms but my bedroom, thank goodness I lived in an apartment in the middle of the buidling or my pipes would have frozen!  I have lived on Peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches for weeks, cheap, and nutritious.  I put on my coat, gloves, and hat to prepare any food or clean, and had a tiny space heater for the tiny bathroom when I bathed my baby.  I had to walk to the grocery store everyday, and my poor baby had to hold a light bag of groceries on her lap and I put the loaf of bread on top of the stroller canapy whcih touched her head on top of the stroller (second hand)! I worked as a nanny for a nearby family, where I could take my baby with me.  It was hard work, I had to cook, clean, and take care of two babies (including mine) and it was a BIG house.   I had to wash my clothes in the bathtub and hang them in the shower to drip dry.  I sewed a lot of my cltohes out of ugly but cheap remnant fabric I bought at a factory outlet store.  I made clothes for my baby girl out of the scraps from those.  I sat on the floor to eat (no furniture except a couch a neighbor threw out and a sleeping bag for a mattress) I could afford to buy a second hand high chair for my baby.  All of my furniture was used and second hand, I spent my time cleaning it up to be pretty, HOURS and HOURS with a toothbrush and sandpaper...

My family helped...a little, they bought me diapers (which I truly could not afford) and formula for my baby, and when my baby was older I made my own baby food.  I lived mostly on cereal, canned soup, and tuna, cheap, and nutritious so that I could buy meat, fruits, and veggies for my baby to be healthy.

I am just letting you know that you are NOT alone in your suffering...others have survived and you can also.

I had to live this way as I left an abusive and drug addicted crazy man and was in hiding from him in another state, I had no child support and little family support.  If I had gone on public assistance he would have found me, also if I had a drivers license in the new state. 

My heart goes out to you since your children are older, and I am sure it is much more difficult for them than it was for my baby.

This email is not about how much I understand...you need a lot more than understanding right now...it is about how I survived this and helped OTHER women to survive these types of situations...

The last job I had before the one I have now was as a child care consultant.  I helped woman set up HOME day cares.  There is an unbeleivable need for home day cares, most specialists agree it is far superiour to institutionalized care (day care centers).  Kind of like how society figured out that foster care is usually superiour to orphanages...

Please think seriously about a home day care.  You are your own boss, you don't need to "find a job" as you create one in a market where there is already a need, and you are home with your own children in case of an emergency's.  You don't have to worry about child care yourself for your own children.  Since you have a car, that is in yoru favor, make it work for you instead of against you as in making you ineligible for food stamps.

I don't know where you live, but in Ohio you can watch six children under the age of six years old (this includes your own children, so if they are over six, they don't count at all for your numbers), this is a significant amount of money for someone working at home with little or no start up costs.  You can make around $100.00 per week per child.  A BONUS in the state of Ohio is that you are reimbursed for most of the cost of your meals, and you and your children's meals while during your daycare hours are included.

I worked with many women who ran their daycare hours until 7:00 pm so that they could get a reimbursed dinner with their daycare kids and their own family.  The meals have to be nutritious so this is a double benefit for you, your kids get a nutritious meal AND it is practically free for you DAILY.

You already have kids so you are experienced enough to have this job.  Conctact your state department of human services to find out licensing requirements for your state.

Ohio is pretty stict about licensure, and the requirements are very practical and reasonable so unless you live in a pretty derilict shack, you should pass.  I am quite sure with two working cars that you don't have a dwelling that won't pass inspection.

Think about it, rather than being hungry another day or having to start selling some of your

belongings.

Lots of woman that I helped start a home day care were      very happy, they were finally able to live pretty well, although humbly.  They had enough nourishing food to eat and the money was enough to pay rent and clothes and a few extras.  The sa vings are substantial, they did not need to buy professional wardrobes for a job, did not have to pay extra insurance for the commute, and did not have to pay to eat lunches at work, or fast food or takeout dinners after being exhausted from work.  You are paid for food prep time for food for YOUR own family.

This is a great job for woman newly divorced, or abandonded.  I am very proud of the work I did    at this job and the women I helped.  Some states even pay for home day care workers to attend community college classes for FREE to get a teaching degree over time. 

I have done home day care and it was a great job.

Contact your local department of human services for information in your state about how to get started. 

Isabela

Hi,

 

I am sorry you are going thru such a rough time.    Your alanon friends know support is needed everyday, as this disease doesn't take a break.   It enjoys messing up holidays.

I know your children's father probably said some rotten things.   But don't let him make you feel worthless.   Don't give him permission to.

Hi,

Thanks everyone for your imput and i know many people are going throgh what I am ad I got alot to be thankful as some one pointed out I have a car.I want you to knowI am very thankful.

I cant do the things that you guys suggested on day care and health care and please dont take offence i cant tell you why cause it  would give my where about out and to much info that if my ex a was readeing these posts could know where I am .

As fas as classes i did take a computer class and have taught my self to type well not good ha but i can get around on my computer.

Let me see if I can say this I worked most of my life lets say had to stand on my feet all day.I am diabled now cant stand the state and i are determining for ssi i am trying to find a pt time job sitting down.That is all i can say now.

I know you woman are strong and have overcome alot as i have .i know i am being evasive but as i spoke to people who run this site  my ex a did find me in the chat room once and watch my commments and harssed me on line so i quess ha just gave to much info

thank you for all your  kind words.