Wow, this story with the girl Shasta Groene has hit close to home with me. My daughter's old boyfriend that I have called her druggy boyfriend who lives in Fargo, ND where that Joseph Duncan is from sells meth there! My daughter went to High School with her ex-boyfriend who comes from a typical farm family. He is the one that got my daughter hooked on drugs or as daughter said, I couldn't get him to stop so I ended up joining him :( When my daughter was 18 he took her to Seattle where they mooched off of some kids from our town. My daughter is now 21. Within this time my daughter and this guys addictions progressed. We did some how get our daughter to come back home and start college (long story). This was all before I had alanon. My daughter ended up switching universities to Fargo, ND where her then boyfriend was going to school. ( actually selling drugs). Long story with my daughter's addiction there too :( Anyway, my daughter finally called us and asked to come home for help since her addiction was worse and she ended up in jail due to her alcoholism etc. She was so stuck on this ex-boyfriend that her entire personality and life revolved around him. He didn't act the same about her. It took her outpatient treatment to help her to finally break up with him. She then disappeared for a time where my husband and I called the police to file a report to find her. She did turn up but shortly came back home again and that is what eventually led to inpatient treatment. During the time she was missing, she had gone to see the ex-drug dealing boyfriend in Fargo, ND again. We didn't know this until she told us this in treatment. The night she was with the guy he had a deliverary of meth coming from out of state and hopefully that is what made her realize to stay away from him.
So, now today with the news of Shasta and this Joseph Duncan that had this girl, it has brought back memories for me. I am not sure how much involvment of dealing or doing drugs my daughter had with others. I do know her boyfreind at the time was a meth drug dealer. I am so thankful today that she is not longer with this ex-boyfriend and that she seems to be clean and sober. Yet, I realize how easily things can change! My husband and I always say our worst fear is that our daughter will go back with this ex-boyfriend. Maybe it is good my mind was in denial for such a long time about the extent of my daughter's drug usage and that I didn't learn of it until she shared it at her treatment programs. I have thought about all the creeps that this ex-boyfriend sold meth too! It makes me sick to think about it. I just needed to vent here and get this out. I have wanted this ex-boyfriend to get arrested so badly for selling meth but the police seem to want the bigger dealers who bring the meth to him from out of state. I have had to leave that in my HP hands and the rest in my daughter's HP hands too.
Years ago this ex-boyfriend hid some meth type drugs(felony amount) in our garage and my husband saw him do it. This ex-boyfriend was hiding out because some drug guys had already beat him up etc. My daughter was trying to help him out. Instead of calling the police we called his parents and had an intervention type of meeting. ( of course they didn't follow through on their agreement and then within 2 months is when that kid came and took our daughter with him to Seatlte :( My husband and I still get upset with ourselves that we did not call the police. We have had to let go of this and leave it in the past. But, when situations like this come up as today that hit so close to home, such as in Fargo, ND that are close to my daughter's past drug usage, it is something I need to process and get my feelings out.
I feel so powerless over all of this which we are. I feel so powerless when I think back on all that my daughter has been through in the drug world. I try to stay in the moment and work my program now. I can't think to the future whether she could get back together with this ex-boyfriend or not. Anything is possible. I just know how grateful I feel today that my daughter got away from this ex and is clean and sober today! I will pray every single day that both of our recovery keeps on continuing and that she does not ever go back to that life again. Only our HP and thiers knows for sure. No matter what happens, I do know that I have alanon to help me and the program to keep my sane and on track. your friend in recovery, cdb
cy927 said
Jul 3, 2005
My daughter is in Rehab in Florida. She has multiple addictions, but her "drug of choice" is crystal meth. This stuff and the world it breeds scares the heck out of me. Of course, we know the worst scare is that we cannot control choices. We are supportative of her but she continues her manipulation from rehab. She is much better but she is mad because we will not give her car back to have in Florida for use while she is in a halfway house after rehab. We are acting on advice as well as our gut about this. Of course my concern is great about my daughter. I go up and down between happy and then depressed. It does not help that my husband is just now really acknowledging that he has tried to "hide" his drinking after he was told he could not drink in our house or around us. His solution is to drink as he drives home on a VERY busy interstate. He is stabbing at steps to get better by attending a couple of meetings, going for help for depression and talking more openingly. However, I find that he is still using at times. I am just sick and tired of this. I know I must realize this will never really end like chemo or surgery recovery. I guess I am so depressed that I get pretty hopeless. I know I must get better for myself. We are always saying we do things because we want them to get better. I know that I must get better first before I can help anyone in anyway.
I certainly feel your pain and fear. The world is crazy. Who would have ever thought our daughters would ingest such things into their bodies and do the things they have done to get high. I know you feel just sick and so sad. How do we not feel so sad and scared?
cdb said
Jul 3, 2005
Hello cy927,
My heart goes out to you. (((((((((((cy))))))))) There are times my husband gets so upset he says he should just start drinking or quit his job and go live like a hermit. He deals with our daughter's addictions differently than I do. I could just cry reading about your daughter since I do know how it feels. I would not send my daughter's car for rehab either. I find they still are manipulative for awhile while trying to maintain sobriety. Sometimes when I have to say no to my daughter I think of the times she has hurt us or made us mad and that helps. They become so selfish during their usage. My daughter has worried about if she has some brain damage from drugs. I worry too. I don't understand how they can just ingest this stuff into their bodies either. They just start so small, beer/pot and then it progresses. I hate what drugs has done to our lives. I will say prayers for you and your family and hope your daughter's treament center in Florida is successful. your friend in recovery, cdb
Hello friends,
Wow, this story with the girl Shasta Groene has hit close to home with me. My daughter's old boyfriend that I have called her druggy boyfriend who lives in Fargo, ND where that Joseph Duncan is from sells meth there! My daughter went to High School with her ex-boyfriend who comes from a typical farm family. He is the one that got my daughter hooked on drugs or as daughter said, I couldn't get him to stop so I ended up joining him :( When my daughter was 18 he took her to Seattle where they mooched off of some kids from our town. My daughter is now 21. Within this time my daughter and this guys addictions progressed. We did some how get our daughter to come back home and start college (long story). This was all before I had alanon. My daughter ended up switching universities to Fargo, ND where her then boyfriend was going to school. ( actually selling drugs). Long story with my daughter's addiction there too :( Anyway, my daughter finally called us and asked to come home for help since her addiction was worse and she ended up in jail due to her alcoholism etc. She was so stuck on this ex-boyfriend that her entire personality and life revolved around him. He didn't act the same about her. It took her outpatient treatment to help her to finally break up with him. She then disappeared for a time where my husband and I called the police to file a report to find her. She did turn up but shortly came back home again and that is what eventually led to inpatient treatment. During the time she was missing, she had gone to see the ex-drug dealing boyfriend in Fargo, ND again. We didn't know this until she told us this in treatment. The night she was with the guy he had a deliverary of meth coming from out of state and hopefully that is what made her realize to stay away from him.
So, now today with the news of Shasta and this Joseph Duncan that had this girl, it has brought back memories for me. I am not sure how much involvment of dealing or doing drugs my daughter had with others. I do know her boyfreind at the time was a meth drug dealer. I am so thankful today that she is not longer with this ex-boyfriend and that she seems to be clean and sober. Yet, I realize how easily things can change! My husband and I always say our worst fear is that our daughter will go back with this ex-boyfriend. Maybe it is good my mind was in denial for such a long time about the extent of my daughter's drug usage and that I didn't learn of it until she shared it at her treatment programs. I have thought about all the creeps that this ex-boyfriend sold meth too! It makes me sick to think about it. I just needed to vent here and get this out. I have wanted this ex-boyfriend to get arrested so badly for selling meth but the police seem to want the bigger dealers who bring the meth to him from out of state. I have had to leave that in my HP hands and the rest in my daughter's HP hands too.
Years ago this ex-boyfriend hid some meth type drugs(felony amount) in our garage and my husband saw him do it. This ex-boyfriend was hiding out because some drug guys had already beat him up etc. My daughter was trying to help him out. Instead of calling the police we called his parents and had an intervention type of meeting. ( of course they didn't follow through on their agreement and then within 2 months is when that kid came and took our daughter with him to Seatlte :( My husband and I still get upset with ourselves that we did not call the police. We have had to let go of this and leave it in the past. But, when situations like this come up as today that hit so close to home, such as in Fargo, ND that are close to my daughter's past drug usage, it is something I need to process and get my feelings out.
I feel so powerless over all of this which we are. I feel so powerless when I think back on all that my daughter has been through in the drug world. I try to stay in the moment and work my program now. I can't think to the future whether she could get back together with this ex-boyfriend or not. Anything is possible. I just know how grateful I feel today that my daughter got away from this ex and is clean and sober today! I will pray every single day that both of our recovery keeps on continuing and that she does not ever go back to that life again. Only our HP and thiers knows for sure. No matter what happens, I do know that I have alanon to help me and the program to keep my sane and on track. your friend in recovery, cdb
I certainly feel your pain and fear. The world is crazy. Who would have ever thought our daughters would ingest such things into their bodies and do the things they have done to get high. I know you feel just sick and so sad. How do we not feel so sad and scared?
Hello cy927,
My heart goes out to you. (((((((((((cy))))))))) There are times my husband gets so upset he says he should just start drinking or quit his job and go live like a hermit. He deals with our daughter's addictions differently than I do. I could just cry reading about your daughter since I do know how it feels. I would not send my daughter's car for rehab either. I find they still are manipulative for awhile while trying to maintain sobriety. Sometimes when I have to say no to my daughter I think of the times she has hurt us or made us mad and that helps. They become so selfish during their usage. My daughter has worried about if she has some brain damage from drugs. I worry too. I don't understand how they can just ingest this stuff into their bodies either. They just start so small, beer/pot and then it progresses. I hate what drugs has done to our lives. I will say prayers for you and your family and hope your daughter's treament center in Florida is successful. your friend in recovery, cdb