Hello friends,

I made it to my destination and things are going well. I am just very tired and so is my mom. I hope all is going well with all of you. I am saying prayers for those on my prayer list and also all of you here. My daughter still does not have a job and that boyfriend of hers is still visiting from Reno. She sure could use prayers for her recovery even though she is clean and sober. Recovery is about getting your life back on track and working your program with your HP. I see where she did stop growing emotionally in some ways when she started using/drinking and don't always see her making mature decisions. I guess that is between her and her HP but I always feel better when I know prayers are there for all of us. I also need prayers for my marriage now too. My helping my parents out seems to be hard on my husband in relation to our marriage. None of us knows what the future  has in store for us but I sure would like my marriage to make it through my daughter's alcoholism and my parent's failing health that has caused our marriage so many hardships. Hope to be in chat soon when I am back home. cdb :)

Hi cdb,

I am sorry to hear that your marriage is under even more strain now, but happy to hear of your daughter's continued steps toward recovery.

Maybe you could find ways to reach out to your husband to let him know you still care?  Without compromising help to your Mom?  Maybe send him an affectionate card whilel you are gone?  Leave loving messages for him on the phone while he is at work?  Maybe cook and  freeze meals for him to eat while you are gone?  Mybe send him flowers?  Anything out of the ordinary or different to let him know you appreciate him...

I don't know if you regularly do these things or not, but if you are not used to doing them, then it will really be a shock to him and doing things differently (when they are positive and kind things) usually helps to shake up a marriage in the right way, it helps the spouses to remember the excitement when they first got together.

When things are really bad with my husband I try to do some of the silly "lovey-dovey" things we used to do when newlyweds.  I feel silly at times, but it helps my husband and I to remember when we were head over heels in love, and that is a good thing when things are tough.

I am glad your Mom seems to be doing well, that must be a great relief to you. 

I hope your daughter gets a job soon, that may help her a lot.

Isabela

(((((((((((((((((((((((((CDB)))))))))))))))))))) No one knows our future destiny other than HP But with all the tools I know you have you will be ok my friend if you apply them, Maybe when you arrive home together you and hubby can make special dates on the calendar with heart stickers maybe 1 or 2 a month were you go out and enjoy eachother, and the healing between you both also can start, Your daughter is a big girl with her program to follow and a few tools herself, and she can do this if she works hard I know it is hard when it is your KId to let go, but stand back love her and encourage her to stive to move foward, Mommy &daddy will not be here for ever and she needs to learn to be self sufficant some time and hunnie why not now, and let her know you are proud of her and she can do this I am sure if she is anything like her mom she wont give up. Take care friend I love you, (((((((((((((((((((((((cdb)))))))))))))))) love cloud

 

((((((((((((((((cdb)))))))))))))))) Warmth and hugs to you cd! Thanks for sharing where you are right now. Sounds lik a really, really painful place to be :( Peace, strength and wisdom to you today :) Please stay in touch. Sooner :)

Thank you isabella, cloud and sooner for your replies. I appreciate the tips and suggestions and postive feedback :)  It just shows me how much the alanon saying means again which is "Let It Begin With Me". To me that summed up your 3 posts. I rested alot today while mom kept busy touching up things that needed paint touch ups. She seemed happy doing that even though there were drips and stuff around LOL. It is good this is a rustic cabin where those things outside don't matter anyway. Or I hope they won't matter when dad gets back LOLOL. Like my dad says that he learned in the navy "What Will Be, Will Be". This sure has helped him to relax and take one day at a time. I hope all is going well with all of you! Thanks again for your replies, cdb :)