Well he has relapsed again. Can't go more than 2 or 3 months. Was going to AA meetings almost daily but it did no good. He even called whole bunch of counsellors in the phone book yesterday but few took medicaid and those that did were not taking new patients. Really starting to believe it is hopeless and don't know if I want to stay on this rollercoaster any longer. No way to keep up house alone though. Burn wood for heat and with me at work all day that would be a problem. Not to mention I can't financially handle the expenses on my own. And since I don't even have a mortgage or rent payment now don't see how I can leave the house and handle renting an apartment somewhere. With large electric surcharge that would go with house if I sold it selling house would be pretty much impossible around here. Just don't know what I am going to do. Guess I just needed to vent.
Belongtome said
Jun 29, 2005
Hi...and thank you for sharing with us. Helps to get another view sometimes.
So...did he relapse or did you both relapse. Are you keeping the focus on your recovery. Your attitude is so important honey.
Whether you decide to get out of the situation, or decide to stay, you don't have to be a victim. Sounds like you're choices for removing yourself from the A are kind of limited, so why don't you try really hard to not react to the insanity of the disease?
I know words are cheap, and I'm sorry that I have nothing more to offer you. I choose not to remove myself from the insanity in my own life (at least at this point). My courage has left me in many ways. I'm just hanging on, but reading the posts, and knowing I'm not alone really soothes my soul. I consider every time I don't get caught up in HIS drama a major victory.
Keep coming back and good luck to you. Take what you like and leave the rest,
mom to 2 said
Jun 29, 2005
Dear Lebe,
I know exactly how you feel. Why can't they maintain the sobriety they work so hard for?? I guess if we knew the answer to that question we wouldn't be here. I'm so sorry for your pain and I will pray for his recovery.
mom to 2
jessi said
Jun 29, 2005
Lebe,
I am sorry you are feeling so low. It is okay to have your feelings -- they're not right or wrong, just feelings.
As far as leaving or staying, only YOU can make that decision. However, I will share with you that I never thought I could make it financially without my A and I have done it all by myself for more than a year now. I urge you not to stay ONLY because of financial reasons. You can find help to get yourself established on your own.
In any case, try to keep the focus on yourself and take care of you whether the alcoholic in your life is drinking ot not.
Keep coming back.
Love and hugs,
Jessi
dadrrb1 said
Jul 1, 2005
Lebe,
I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I, like so many others, have no words of wisdom. I do know this though, going to AA meetings does NOT mean that you are working a program of recovery. some things that you could try is leave the big Book open to the page with the steps. I think it is in chapter 5. Maybe he will get curious and read them. Detach with love, and let him see it working in your life. Try not to worry yourself with "his addiction", but take care of you. You can't get him sober anymore than you can get him drunk.
Let go and let God, then, and only then, will you find the answers to your questions. Work your program and let him worry about him. sorry I can't find my Magic Wand or I would fix it for you!!!
Love in the program,
Robert B. (aka...dadrrb1)
cdb said
Jul 2, 2005
((((((((((((((((((((((((lebe))))))))))))))))))))) Take care of you my friend in anyway you and HP know how. Calling counselors is one thing, but the alcoholic needs to get their butt back to AA. They need to start with step one again too. This is just my humble opinion. Only they can save themselves. If we could save them, we would have done it by now. I will continue prayers for you and your family. Focus on you to me means do what you can to take care of you! We need to be healthy and sane. If we aern't, no one else if going to take care of us. xoxoxoxo cdb Hope to be back home soon so I can chat with you. I am not sure how long I will be gone , but I will continue praying. Keep working your program and going to alanon.
Jerry F said
Jul 4, 2005
Aloha Lebe...Sorry that the prior attempt failed. Relapse is a part of the disease. A recovering alcoholic attempts to escape relapse after a period of dry time. What is important is what the alcoholic does after a relapse. If he can continue to kill his pride and squash his ego and continue to look for help he will find it. If he, "...is willing and has the capacity to be honest." (from the big book of AA), he will find help. Main thing is you continue with the program. Get a higher power relationship, work the steps, get a sponsor and keep coming back and back and back.
Hi...and thank you for sharing with us. Helps to get another view sometimes.
So...did he relapse or did you both relapse. Are you keeping the focus on your recovery. Your attitude is so important honey.
Whether you decide to get out of the situation, or decide to stay, you don't have to be a victim. Sounds like you're choices for removing yourself from the A are kind of limited, so why don't you try really hard to not react to the insanity of the disease?
I know words are cheap, and I'm sorry that I have nothing more to offer you. I choose not to remove myself from the insanity in my own life (at least at this point). My courage has left me in many ways. I'm just hanging on, but reading the posts, and knowing I'm not alone really soothes my soul. I consider every time I don't get caught up in HIS drama a major victory.
Keep coming back and good luck to you. Take what you like and leave the rest,
Dear Lebe,
I know exactly how you feel. Why can't they maintain the sobriety they work so hard for?? I guess if we knew the answer to that question we wouldn't be here. I'm so sorry for your pain and I will pray for his recovery.
mom to 2
Lebe,
I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I, like so many others, have no words of wisdom. I do know this though, going to AA meetings does NOT mean that you are working a program of recovery. some things that you could try is leave the big Book open to the page with the steps. I think it is in chapter 5. Maybe he will get curious and read them. Detach with love, and let him see it working in your life. Try not to worry yourself with "his addiction", but take care of you. You can't get him sober anymore than you can get him drunk.
Let go and let God, then, and only then, will you find the answers to your questions. Work your program and let him worry about him. sorry I can't find my Magic Wand or I would fix it for you!!!
Love in the program,
Robert B. (aka...dadrrb1)
Aloha Lebe...Sorry that the prior attempt failed. Relapse is a part of the disease. A recovering alcoholic attempts to escape relapse after a period of dry time. What is important is what the alcoholic does after a relapse. If he can continue to kill his pride and squash his ego and continue to look for help he will find it. If he, "...is willing and has the capacity to be honest." (from the big book of AA), he will find help. Main thing is you continue with the program. Get a higher power relationship, work the steps, get a sponsor and keep coming back and back and back.
Jerry F