It is really hard to be an op. But it is very well worth it to give service to the group. I remember the days deblyin were talking about with lulu and mell1000 and bd. I miss those days very much. I do find the room has changed and its hard to take because of my expectations. and what it once was. I am not saying that the room is bad and we still do get support in this room anytime of night. I came in the night my mom died and someone was there for me:) at 3 am. So im not putting down this room in anyway. I think in my opinion and im not sure if its cause of the lack of oldtimers. We sometimes forget we are a group of ppl trying to recover and that is what i did last night. I jumped on the entire room for something they were talking about because i did not feel it was right, but also it triggered a memory that came flashing back. That is my own problem not the rooms. I can take what i like. I have changed since my mom died i know i am much more angier and much more sensitive. I know there is alot of gossip going around also cause i hear it. But again thats not my stuff. I can take what i like and allow people to say what they feel and say whats on thier minds without any judgement from me. And that is exactly what i did last night i judged the group because i was angry of that memory anmd for that i am sorry i am far from a perfect person. Its hard as an op to know what to do in situations we are learning as you are but we do our best and thats all we can do:) I think we should all come together like it once was and focus on our own healing together . Love you all
kerry
cloud said
Jun 27, 2005
((((((((((((((Kerry))))))))))))) being an OP I am sure is a very hard job and I do appreciate all of you who share your service to make it a healing place to come. I also know the room gets silly from time to time, but it tends to cease when one is in time of need, some may feel that laughter may be the best medicine, it may be a quick fix for a sad moment, to have a ((rommie))) smile or giggle. I do not believe in anyone judging or belittling anyones recovery, and as far as gossip I try my hardest never to say an ill word of any of my fellow recovery family, yes if I am asked my opinion or someone says did u hear, I may listen and say well does that matter or let it go or how do you think it could be better? BUT I dont have all the answers. The room may have been different in earlier years, and oldtimers have moved on, but we will become the oldtimers have to be a newbie before an oldtimer, I myself tend to joke and giggle many times for I have not laughed in a long time, now I can with no fear and it feels great and with people I love. Keep up the great work and with your recovery and please know I think you are doing a great job as OP because ((((kerry)))) is a great women doing her best! love ya always, cloud
-- Edited by cloud at 13:58, 2005-06-27
cdb said
Jun 27, 2005
Hello kerry,
I do ditto what cloud said. She said what I was going to type. As far as gossip, if I am talking to people and it sounds like gossip and not fact I will say something that I hope this is not gossip because I am trying to follow the alanon program. I would think if anyone feels someone is gossiping they would point it out to that person in a kind way and stop the discussion. If any gossip is going on then it must be in private message or not when I am in the room. If someone starts to mention someone in the room at all and they are not there, I usually will state that we do not talk about others when they are in the room. I once went into pm to tell someone something about what happened to me and I did not want to share it in the room (not appropriate) and as I put cdb-pm a person stated that, You better not be gossiping cdb! Boy was that person way wrong, totally. I just ignored them and saw this as their issue. I do not go into pm to gossip. If I do then I would hope the person I am talking to would tell me that they feel what is being talked about is gossip. I Feel very Protective of this room and strive for safety and calmness in the room for everybody in anyway I can do my part. I do not know how the room use to be because I have belonged to MIP about a year. I do think this is one of the best chat sites/support groups on the WEB that I have ever been to. MY friends at my fibromyaliga site miss me but I am gaining so much growth here in my life journey that I spend all my time here now. We all need to learn to live in the moment and enjoy today no matter if the room has changed or not. I remember a song I use to sing in Girl Scouts. It went something like: Make new friends and keep the old, One is silver and the other gold :)
I miss the people that come and go here too as newcomers. I just saw someone back again after months of being gone. I get excited about everyone in this room. One thing I love about alanon is that we are all equals :) I would like to make amends to anyone that feels I have been involved in gossip with them at this site. I feel it is always good to keep ourselves in check with many things. WE are only human and have very intense emotions at times. If anyone thinks I have gossipped while in pm please talk to me or know that I am thinking through things I have said now and making amends with my HP about this. I am striving to be a better person. Thanks for brining this topic up kerry. cdb :)
jrtjosey said
Jun 29, 2005
Your right being an op comes with awesome responsibility and you have been through a lot, and if you are having a bad day I don't think anyone would think less of you not to opt in, but to just join us, and share as an equal that day and not a leader. Lord knows there are days that I just don't have the energy to share and help like I do some others, it is not a weakness it is my reality. That is why I do not make long term comittments even to my children's activities and everyone understands. I do what I can when I. Josey
kerry5 said
Jun 30, 2005
Oh i agree josey and i deop myself often in the room. OR when i chair a meeting i stayed oped for a night but thats about it. Op is not being a leader not in the least its the group that makes leadership descisions as a whole. I just do what i can try to make the room safe when i can.but that night i was having a flashback i was not oped and i did say sorry to the whole room not long after i did that. because i knew it was wrong
It is really hard to be an op. But it is very well worth it to give service to the group. I remember the days deblyin were talking about with lulu and mell1000 and bd. I miss those days very much. I do find the room has changed and its hard to take because of my expectations. and what it once was. I am not saying that the room is bad and we still do get support in this room anytime of night. I came in the night my mom died and someone was there for me:) at 3 am. So im not putting down this room in anyway. I think in my opinion and im not sure if its cause of the lack of oldtimers. We sometimes forget we are a group of ppl trying to recover and that is what i did last night. I jumped on the entire room for something they were talking about because i did not feel it was right, but also it triggered a memory that came flashing back. That is my own problem not the rooms. I can take what i like. I have changed since my mom died i know i am much more angier and much more sensitive. I know there is alot of gossip going around also cause i hear it. But again thats not my stuff. I can take what i like and allow people to say what they feel and say whats on thier minds without any judgement from me. And that is exactly what i did last night i judged the group because i was angry of that memory anmd for that i am sorry i am far from a perfect person. Its hard as an op to know what to do in situations we are learning as you are but we do our best and thats all we can do:) I think we should all come together like it once was and focus on our own healing together . Love you all
kerry
-- Edited by cloud at 13:58, 2005-06-27
Hello kerry,
I do ditto what cloud said. She said what I was going to type. As far as gossip, if I am talking to people and it sounds like gossip and not fact I will say something that I hope this is not gossip because I am trying to follow the alanon program. I would think if anyone feels someone is gossiping they would point it out to that person in a kind way and stop the discussion. If any gossip is going on then it must be in private message or not when I am in the room. If someone starts to mention someone in the room at all and they are not there, I usually will state that we do not talk about others when they are in the room. I once went into pm to tell someone something about what happened to me and I did not want to share it in the room (not appropriate) and as I put cdb-pm a person stated that, You better not be gossiping cdb! Boy was that person way wrong, totally. I just ignored them and saw this as their issue. I do not go into pm to gossip. If I do then I would hope the person I am talking to would tell me that they feel what is being talked about is gossip. I Feel very Protective of this room and strive for safety and calmness in the room for everybody in anyway I can do my part. I do not know how the room use to be because I have belonged to MIP about a year. I do think this is one of the best chat sites/support groups on the WEB that I have ever been to. MY friends at my fibromyaliga site miss me but I am gaining so much growth here in my life journey that I spend all my time here now. We all need to learn to live in the moment and enjoy today no matter if the room has changed or not. I remember a song I use to sing in Girl Scouts. It went something like: Make new friends and keep the old, One is silver and the other gold :)
I miss the people that come and go here too as newcomers. I just saw someone back again after months of being gone. I get excited about everyone in this room. One thing I love about alanon is that we are all equals :) I would like to make amends to anyone that feels I have been involved in gossip with them at this site. I feel it is always good to keep ourselves in check with many things. WE are only human and have very intense emotions at times. If anyone thinks I have gossipped while in pm please talk to me or know that I am thinking through things I have said now and making amends with my HP about this. I am striving to be a better person. Thanks for brining this topic up kerry. cdb :)
Oh i agree josey and i deop myself often in the room. OR when i chair a meeting i stayed oped for a night but thats about it. Op is not being a leader not in the least its the group that makes leadership descisions as a whole. I just do what i can try to make the room safe when i can.but that night i was having a flashback i was not oped and i did say sorry to the whole room not long after i did that. because i knew it was wrong
thanks for the posts guys
-- Edited by kerry5 at 21:33, 2005-06-30