Made a desicion to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understand Him.
I am going on my third step and I wonder how as a parent I will turn my will and live over to God. What as a parent is my will? I have to make desicions and take action or he will walk all over me(my son). How do I tell the difference between turning him over to God and what as a parent I am suppose to do. I know how to turn my will over myself like I was taught in AA that I get. I pray about whats on my mind and do what I think he would want me to do. And I live like he would want me to live. But how do I know what God would want me to do as a parent? Am I wrong giving him a choose between being on restriction for summer or him to go to NA and working with a sponsor. He only smoked pot about 5 times and got caught 3 times, last time in bathroom of my parents bathroom knowing we are about to get kicked out and while he was on restriction already for smoking pot. I have heard only he can say he is an addict but I see the whole thinking process of an addict in him. I wish I knew wiether what I am doing is my will or Gods will or is it my disicion to make as a parent. Any input would be helpful. Parents of addicts and acoholics that are still living at home. And he is not just living at home, our home is my parents house. I have considered wiether or on I have any self seeking motives and I can honestly say NO. He said he was smoking pot to control his anger problem that has gotten him in legal trouble.
Any input would be helpful! If someone wants to email me about this they can atItsmeTC88@aol.com.
Thanks!
-- Edited by ItsmeTC at 17:46, 2005-06-25
cdb said
Jun 25, 2005
Hello TC,
I do not see any reason why it is not good to have your son go to NA. You mentioned in the room that he is much happier after he goes. I think kids want structure in thier lives. Did the probation officer want your son to go to NA? They can put that requirement on them too as a term of their probation. Judges put that requirement on people so I don't see why a parent can't. We only do the best we can with what we have. I would change so many things with my daughter if I could do it all over again. I am not sure the outcome would be any different though. If your son knows that you all can be kicked out of your parent's home from his usage of pot then he should understand how important it is to go to the meetings. Your situation is unique according to others in alanon. Only you can deside the best decisions for you and your son. I try to go into prayer alot with my HP/God and wait quietly for a feeling/answer to my decision making. My answers sometimes come from what another person may say too. It can come from anywhere. We just need to relax and be quiet enough to hear. Do you have a sponsor? If not, I would find one for asap. They are great guidance people with the steps. If you cannot find one at your face to face meeting, there may be one here at this site. I also know someone that called the national office and was given one through them. How your son responds after the meetings sounds like a good indication that you may be doing the thing that is the best for him right now :) What do you think? your friend in recovery, cdb :)
Made a desicion to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understand Him.
I am going on my third step and I wonder how as a parent I will turn my will and live over to God. What as a parent is my will? I have to make desicions and take action or he will walk all over me(my son). How do I tell the difference between turning him over to God and what as a parent I am suppose to do. I know how to turn my will over myself like I was taught in AA that I get. I pray about whats on my mind and do what I think he would want me to do. And I live like he would want me to live. But how do I know what God would want me to do as a parent? Am I wrong giving him a choose between being on restriction for summer or him to go to NA and working with a sponsor. He only smoked pot about 5 times and got caught 3 times, last time in bathroom of my parents bathroom knowing we are about to get kicked out and while he was on restriction already for smoking pot. I have heard only he can say he is an addict but I see the whole thinking process of an addict in him. I wish I knew wiether what I am doing is my will or Gods will or is it my disicion to make as a parent. Any input would be helpful. Parents of addicts and acoholics that are still living at home. And he is not just living at home, our home is my parents house. I have considered wiether or on I have any self seeking motives and I can honestly say NO. He said he was smoking pot to control his anger problem that has gotten him in legal trouble.
Any input would be helpful! If someone wants to email me about this they can at ItsmeTC88@aol.com.
Thanks!
-- Edited by ItsmeTC at 17:46, 2005-06-25
Hello TC,
I do not see any reason why it is not good to have your son go to NA. You mentioned in the room that he is much happier after he goes. I think kids want structure in thier lives. Did the probation officer want your son to go to NA? They can put that requirement on them too as a term of their probation. Judges put that requirement on people so I don't see why a parent can't. We only do the best we can with what we have. I would change so many things with my daughter if I could do it all over again. I am not sure the outcome would be any different though. If your son knows that you all can be kicked out of your parent's home from his usage of pot then he should understand how important it is to go to the meetings. Your situation is unique according to others in alanon. Only you can deside the best decisions for you and your son. I try to go into prayer alot with my HP/God and wait quietly for a feeling/answer to my decision making. My answers sometimes come from what another person may say too. It can come from anywhere. We just need to relax and be quiet enough to hear. Do you have a sponsor? If not, I would find one for asap. They are great guidance people with the steps. If you cannot find one at your face to face meeting, there may be one here at this site. I also know someone that called the national office and was given one through them. How your son responds after the meetings sounds like a good indication that you may be doing the thing that is the best for him right now :) What do you think? your friend in recovery, cdb :)