I signed the lease today and will move my clothes and bike into the apartment tomorrow. I will buy an aero bed - inflatable bed to sleep on until my furniture gets delivered.
I let myself cry as I left my new place
Just for a few moments
14 years is a long time.
Thanks to all who held my hand and were my shoulder to cry on these last 7 weeks since I left my husband.
I am growing constantly stronger.
My co-worker today said you look so calm and at peace with everything. The stress is gone from your face.
I said really? And she was sincere. Very nice
I stopped trying to cure my alcoholic and focused on me.
It's been a full year since I found alanon last June 30 and I will be forever grateful for the wonderful improvement that has come to my life.
God is moving the mountain and alanon is my shovel
sanddie said
Jun 24, 2005
God will provide ALL that you need.. :) Just continue to trust in Him and he will make your paths straight.
The pain is difficult- I know and it feels like your heart is being ripped out, BUT, with this pain comes growth in ourselves and a much better understanding of the loving, compassionate person we truly are inside. Allow yourself to grieve and give all the pain to God. I will keep you in my prayers for strength and comfort while you deal with this time on your own.
Hugggssss
debilyn said
Jun 25, 2005
Hi Megan, good for you!! I am so glad to see your progress on taking care of you.
you will find things will get better and better. I know sometimes it is hard, it will all
be worth it no matter what happens.
You sound very good. Miracles do happen huh? I too felt better after about a year. All
the skills started to really sink in, and I had my program falling into place.
I hope you will continue in alanon. I find it helps me in every part of my life, whether I am
around A or not.
Going thru the disability stuff and health scares, alanon skills get me thru. Also it has
made my relationship with my adult kids so much better. I learned about boundaries
and not controlling them, or trying too...I know when to be a mom and when to just
listen.
I also get along better as far as not feeling shy, I like myself more.
Feeling serene thru all kinds of things is amazing. Taking a day at a time and seeing how every
thing really turns out to be ok.
Anyway have fun making your home the way you want it.
I am so happy for you. You are quite a lady. love,debilyn
megan said
Jun 25, 2005
Hi Sanddie and debilyn
Thank-you for the replies.
I am very much trusting in God at this point.
I will stay with alanon I see that it is a lieflong program. I had quit last year for a few months when my A got sober but came back after he started bingeing. The program helps in so many parts of my life.
I had dinner with my A last night and he wants to help me move today.
he is still a part of my life I just don 't know what part.
he said he wanted us back together and I thought the same thing.
But after spending an hour and a half with him I just don't know what I want.
He is so manipulative and thanks to alanon and by the grace of God I see the maipulation going on.
I went to a meeting and then back to the hotel and then I threw up.
I am not sick.
So one day at a time. At my face to face the topic was living in the present and it was quite timely for me.
browneyes said
Jun 26, 2005
hi
i just wanted to say good luck to you and i feel for you. You are very brave and sounds like you're taking care of yourself. Sounds like you are listening to what you need right now. Big hugs and best wishes
browneyes
nmike said
Jun 26, 2005
Hey Meagan,
Did you buy yourself sometimes new and nice for your new home? Something to celebrate you?
In support,
Nancy
megan said
Jun 27, 2005
Hi Browneyes, thank you for the hugs. I need them. I am lonely but finally at peace
Hi Nancy,
Thank you so much for the support.
Tonight FINALLY (it is like a saga to family and friends who do have not been in the trenches like us), I bought a very nice bedroom set from Jcpenney. The name of the collection? Independence – that sold me. A sleigh bed and dressers and a TV stand, a good start. Thank-you for the encouragement – sometimes all I can do is tread water. But movement….it is healing
I let myself cry as I left my new place
Just for a few moments
14 years is a long time.
Thanks to all who held my hand and were my shoulder to cry on these last 7 weeks since I left my husband.
I am growing constantly stronger.
My co-worker today said you look so calm and at peace with everything. The stress is gone from your face.
I said really? And she was sincere. Very nice
I stopped trying to cure my alcoholic and focused on me.
It's been a full year since I found alanon last June 30 and I will be forever grateful for the wonderful improvement that has come to my life.
God is moving the mountain and alanon is my shovel
God will provide ALL that you need.. :) Just continue to trust in Him and he will make your paths straight.
The pain is difficult- I know and it feels like your heart is being ripped out, BUT, with this pain comes growth in ourselves and a much better understanding of the loving, compassionate person we truly are inside. Allow yourself to grieve and give all the pain to God. I will keep you in my prayers for strength and comfort while you deal with this time on your own.
Hugggssss
Hi Sanddie and debilyn
Thank-you for the replies.
I am very much trusting in God at this point.
I will stay with alanon I see that it is a lieflong program. I had quit last year for a few months when my A got sober but came back after he started bingeing. The program helps in so many parts of my life.
I had dinner with my A last night and he wants to help me move today.
he is still a part of my life I just don 't know what part.
he said he wanted us back together and I thought the same thing.
But after spending an hour and a half with him I just don't know what I want.
He is so manipulative and thanks to alanon and by the grace of God I see the maipulation going on.
I went to a meeting and then back to the hotel and then I threw up.
I am not sick.
So one day at a time. At my face to face the topic was living in the present and it was quite timely for me.
hi
i just wanted to say good luck to you and i feel for you. You are very brave and sounds like you're taking care of yourself. Sounds like you are listening to what you need right now. Big hugs and best wishes
browneyes
Hey Meagan,
Did you buy yourself sometimes new and nice for your new home? Something to celebrate you?
In support,
Nancy
Hi Browneyes, thank you for the hugs. I need them. I am lonely but finally at peace
Hi Nancy,
Thank you so much for the support.
Tonight FINALLY (it is like a saga to family and friends who do have not been in the trenches like us), I bought a very nice bedroom set from Jcpenney. The name of the collection? Independence – that sold me. A sleigh bed and dressers and a TV stand, a good start. Thank-you for the encouragement – sometimes all I can do is tread water. But movement….it is healing