I am working on a project that will allow families and friends of Alcoholics and Substance Abusers to help them through a special program, while protecting them from enabling.
I am posting this with the hope that you might visit the website, take a look at the story, learn about the project and give me your feedback.
This is not a commercial site, and I am not soliciting for any money - just your words and thoughts. I want your honest opinion and ideas about if you believe that this idea will work.
This will link you to a subsite of the company donating the webspace for the project.
I respect the privacy of all who view, and I will do everything to protect it. (If you would like to share your story or thoughts, please use the e-mail link on the site)
Thanks so much for looking, and I look forward to feedback that only you can give me.
-- Edited by FCCaretaker at 18:44, 2005-06-18
-- Edited by FCCaretaker at 18:50, 2005-06-18
kerry5 said
Jun 20, 2005
You asked for feedback and this is only my honest opinion. So please do not be offended. This program alanon teaches us how to take care ofourselves and let the alcoholic in thier lives take care of themselves no matter what. Instead of living and fixing every problem the alcoholic gets into. We learn to let them hit thier rock bottom and only then when they realize they have a problem do they seek help and that usually is when they hit bottom. Setting up giftcards in my opinion is just allowing her to spend more money on drinking. I know my parents used to do it. Spend all money on booze them complain to my grandmother they didnt have rent money and she always bailed her out and it got more and more. Where they drained her entire savings. I hope you come to this program you will realize alot of things here. Take good care. So in my opinion and i know how much you must love your sister to do all this, but to give her what she needs so she can get what she wants doesnt seem ok to me. She has to learn to live for herself. I hope you come and give alanon a chance it has helped many people live happy lives in the chaos of alcoholism. take good care hope to see you again
kerry
FCCaretaker said
Jun 20, 2005
No offense taken, and I appreciate your honest answer.
I did go to a meeting last night... and understand your answer completely. The bottom line is that I am going to let my sister do just what you mentioned. I just feel I have to do it in person.
Luckily, I have a great support system including family and friends, and a strong will and heart to handle it without letting it take everything out of me.
To share openly, I talked to my sister this morning and let her know that she faced esentially "being cut off from the family" when I arrived a week from Wednesday. She flipped and started into a shouting fit. I expected it and told her unless she wanted to have a conversation, that I was finished with my part.
The special circumstances of protecting my ailing father and having to recover some of his property currently being used by her (including the car) makes this quite complicated. I do appreciate the thoughts and prayers of everyone last night at the meeting as well as your honest thoughts.
On the other hand, I want to help those who have situations they can't help, like mine became, have a tool they can use. I realize it is not the solution, just a mechanism. The Project is also designed to help homeless and others as well, and while inspired by alcoholic circumstances, has other goals as well.
Again, thanks.
-- Edited by FCCaretaker at 15:26, 2005-06-20
Jolert said
Jun 21, 2005
Hello FC,
Welcome, I looked over your website. I'm sorry for the situation you are in. I can't imagine the anguish you feel over your father's health and the anger at your sister's actions. I hope by finding this site and meetings you can find some peace, along with your support system
As for the idea you have for the "Caretaker Card" it has merit in it's own ways. It could provide people who want a change in their life a way of feeding, clothing themselves without the family having to worry as much as they would handing them cash or a normal gift card. No system is foolproof, and the alcohol and drug world takes care of it's own as long as they have some form of cash to give. There are loopholes I can see ... unscrupulous buisness owners or managers who ignore the restrictions, dealers who would take the card as payment (at a much lower value than what it is actually for). It would still be a form of caretaking ina more controlled way .... depending on people's situations it could be a great tool, or just another way of trying to control the A's actions while they run their course. Overall I say the idea is a good one, but am aware it could be used just like anything else in our system to further an As problem along.
I am working on a project that will allow families and friends of Alcoholics and Substance Abusers to help them through a special program, while protecting them from enabling.
I am posting this with the hope that you might visit the website, take a look at the story, learn about the project and give me your feedback.
This is not a commercial site, and I am not soliciting for any money - just your words and thoughts. I want your honest opinion and ideas about if you believe that this idea will work.
The site is www.caretakerproject.org.
This will link you to a subsite of the company donating the webspace for the project.
I respect the privacy of all who view, and I will do everything to protect it. (If you would like to share your story or thoughts, please use the e-mail link on the site)
Thanks so much for looking, and I look forward to feedback that only you can give me.
-- Edited by FCCaretaker at 18:44, 2005-06-18
-- Edited by FCCaretaker at 18:50, 2005-06-18
You asked for feedback and this is only my honest opinion. So please do not be offended. This program alanon teaches us how to take care ofourselves and let the alcoholic in thier lives take care of themselves no matter what. Instead of living and fixing every problem the alcoholic gets into. We learn to let them hit thier rock bottom and only then when they realize they have a problem do they seek help and that usually is when they hit bottom. Setting up giftcards in my opinion is just allowing her to spend more money on drinking. I know my parents used to do it. Spend all money on booze them complain to my grandmother they didnt have rent money and she always bailed her out and it got more and more. Where they drained her entire savings. I hope you come to this program you will realize alot of things here. Take good care. So in my opinion and i know how much you must love your sister to do all this, but to give her what she needs so she can get what she wants doesnt seem ok to me. She has to learn to live for herself. I hope you come and give alanon a chance it has helped many people live happy lives in the chaos of alcoholism. take good care hope to see you again
kerry
No offense taken, and I appreciate your honest answer.
I did go to a meeting last night... and understand your answer completely. The bottom line is that I am going to let my sister do just what you mentioned. I just feel I have to do it in person.
Luckily, I have a great support system including family and friends, and a strong will and heart to handle it without letting it take everything out of me.
To share openly, I talked to my sister this morning and let her know that she faced esentially "being cut off from the family" when I arrived a week from Wednesday. She flipped and started into a shouting fit. I expected it and told her unless she wanted to have a conversation, that I was finished with my part.
The special circumstances of protecting my ailing father and having to recover some of his property currently being used by her (including the car) makes this quite complicated. I do appreciate the thoughts and prayers of everyone last night at the meeting as well as your honest thoughts.
On the other hand, I want to help those who have situations they can't help, like mine became, have a tool they can use. I realize it is not the solution, just a mechanism. The Project is also designed to help homeless and others as well, and while inspired by alcoholic circumstances, has other goals as well.
Again, thanks.
-- Edited by FCCaretaker at 15:26, 2005-06-20
Hello FC,
Welcome, I looked over your website. I'm sorry for the situation you are in. I can't imagine the anguish you feel over your father's health and the anger at your sister's actions. I hope by finding this site and meetings you can find some peace, along with your support system
As for the idea you have for the "Caretaker Card" it has merit in it's own ways. It could provide people who want a change in their life a way of feeding, clothing themselves without the family having to worry as much as they would handing them cash or a normal gift card. No system is foolproof, and the alcohol and drug world takes care of it's own as long as they have some form of cash to give. There are loopholes I can see ... unscrupulous buisness owners or managers who ignore the restrictions, dealers who would take the card as payment (at a much lower value than what it is actually for). It would still be a form of caretaking ina more controlled way .... depending on people's situations it could be a great tool, or just another way of trying to control the A's actions while they run their course. Overall I say the idea is a good one, but am aware it could be used just like anything else in our system to further an As problem along.
Best wishes to you and your family, Jenny