i am going to send a note to my husband's sister explaining to her that I have left her brother and the reason why - his active alcoholism.
It just came to me yesterday while I was riding my bike.
I feel they should know. Since their brother is killing himself and when he is dead they will say to me, oh if only we had known.
I don't expect anything to come of this but feel obligated to let them know.
He no longer maintans contact with his family
has anyone ever done this and any ESH?
AlaMom said
Jun 13, 2005
Megan,
Writing a letter to your sister in law to state that you are no longer with her brother is ok. Stating the reasons why is another matter. Please examine your motives in doing so. If as you say he has no contact with his family, there is obviously a reason for it. Maybe they are full aware of his disease and they choose not to have contact with him.
I suggest for you to consider how you would feel if you were in your husbands position and someone wrote a letter to your family. It is not your responsibility to notify his family about his disease. That is up to him. I know the anger and disappointment can drive us to do things like this - but from my experience it never goes according to the way we would like it to. I tried it with my ex-husband and all it created was a big resentment on all parts. I was trying to control the situation. I felt that if his family was aware of what was going on then maybe he would stop. It didnt happen.
Please think about it and pray for the right answer to your questions.
Good Luck
Karen
teddybear said
Jun 13, 2005
Hi Megan,
You seem to be taking good care of yourself, and that is a good thing!! I think that it could be a good idea to speak to your sister-in-law and let her know that you are no longer with her brother, still you do not have to tell her why. Also, it may depend on what kind of relationship you have with her. As for the rest of the family, I agree with AlaMum that possibly they may also suffer from the sickness, and it may just create a mess for you!! Ask your HP to guide you, and the answer will come very clear to you. Keep the focus on yourself, and I think it is great that you are going biking. What a great way to take care of yourself!! I will keep you in my prayers.
Love & Hugs
megan said
Jun 14, 2005
Hi
Thank you so much for the replies and the ESH.
I will pray on the answer and be guided by your experience.
I did not realize that my obligation is not to have to tell his family, that I was unclear on.
His one sister has provided good comfort to us in the past and I will tell her of the seperation but not the reason, the can of worms might become unmanageable at that point.
My Hp has again stepped in. Instead of going to Mountain bike weekend this weekend with my A I am needed in my younger sisters life and I will be in Texas friday.
It is very odd how life goes.
I have an airline ticket that I never used last year due to my A's progression downward on the drinking scale. Now my sis is in emotional and financial trouble and the way is paved for a visit.
i am going to send a note to my husband's sister explaining to her that I have left her brother and the reason why - his active alcoholism.
It just came to me yesterday while I was riding my bike.
I feel they should know. Since their brother is killing himself and when he is dead they will say to me, oh if only we had known.
I don't expect anything to come of this but feel obligated to let them know.
He no longer maintans contact with his family
has anyone ever done this and any ESH?
Megan,
Writing a letter to your sister in law to state that you are no longer with her brother is ok. Stating the reasons why is another matter. Please examine your motives in doing so. If as you say he has no contact with his family, there is obviously a reason for it. Maybe they are full aware of his disease and they choose not to have contact with him.
I suggest for you to consider how you would feel if you were in your husbands position and someone wrote a letter to your family. It is not your responsibility to notify his family about his disease. That is up to him. I know the anger and disappointment can drive us to do things like this - but from my experience it never goes according to the way we would like it to. I tried it with my ex-husband and all it created was a big resentment on all parts. I was trying to control the situation. I felt that if his family was aware of what was going on then maybe he would stop. It didnt happen.
Please think about it and pray for the right answer to your questions.
Good Luck
Karen
Hi Megan,
You seem to be taking good care of yourself, and that is a good thing!! I think that it could be a good idea to speak to your sister-in-law and let her know that you are no longer with her brother, still you do not have to tell her why. Also, it may depend on what kind of relationship you have with her. As for the rest of the family, I agree with AlaMum that possibly they may also suffer from the sickness, and it may just create a mess for you!! Ask your HP to guide you, and the answer will come very clear to you. Keep the focus on yourself, and I think it is great that you are going biking. What a great way to take care of yourself!!
I will keep you in my prayers.
Love & Hugs
Hi
Thank you so much for the replies and the ESH.
I will pray on the answer and be guided by your experience.
I did not realize that my obligation is not to have to tell his family, that I was unclear on.
His one sister has provided good comfort to us in the past and I will tell her of the seperation but not the reason, the can of worms might become unmanageable at that point.
My Hp has again stepped in. Instead of going to Mountain bike weekend this weekend with my A I am needed in my younger sisters life and I will be in Texas friday.
It is very odd how life goes.
I have an airline ticket that I never used last year due to my A's progression downward on the drinking scale. Now my sis is in emotional and financial trouble and the way is paved for a visit.
She is thrilled I am coming
thanks for the ESH and being here.