I just wanted to let everyone here know. Yes he went to an AA meeting last night. He looked so positive when he came home too. I am trying not to get my hopes up to high right now though. I know that sounds counteractive but I am so tired of being hurt by my own expectations of what I think he should do. We did talk just a little bit about his meeting last night, more his feelings on that "first meeting". When he is ready to talk more about it I will be here for him. For myself as hard as it is for me to do I am trying not to let it consume my thoughts. We have our twins' birthday party tomarrow and I still have all the preperations to do for that so that will keep me busy for this weekend anyhow. There is one thing that hubby did last night that I don't think he has ever done...As I was fixing the kids' (we have 4) dinner plates he actually came out and asked me if there was anything he could do to help. That was a woah moment for me as he would always sit at computer while I did that and wait for me to bring him his plate, and yes he fixed his plate too. Well I have some hungry kids here. Hope all have a wonderful day. I am thinking positive...this is a new day and each day will get better...for all of us!

Much love to all,

Feather

Glad to hear your positive news.  I have twins also.  They are 3 yrs old, plus a 1 year old, a 9 year old and a 19 yr old!   I can totaly relate to the lack of help you described.  Addiction causes a person to become very selfish.  Even when the substance they abuse is taken away, there is still a selfishness about them unless they seek true recovery which in my opinion is working the 12 steps.  It's then that they have a spiritual awakening.  Once they open themselves up to their HP then true changes take place.  I think it's wonderful that it seems that is where your husband is at.  Just for your own sanity and peace of mind, don't expect......anything!  An expectation is nothing more than a resentment waiting to bloom.  Keep taking one day at a time and continuasly turning him over to his HP.  While at the same time working your program so together you can both get spiritualy healthy.  Best of luck to you!

Heather,

I am happy for you.  It is so hard not to get excited about the potential for lasting sobriety.  It is ok however, to be so.  My husband is receiving his 8 month chip as I write this.  Each day it is difficult not to wonder if he will pick up again.  But I have to remind myself that it is out of my control.  All I can do is focus on me.  I can be happy about his sobriety.  I can embrace the changes that have come with sobriety - some good - some not so good.  I go to meetings often and take the suggestions.  I try not to get into my husbands program - which is not always easy. 

I wish you and your husband well in recovery.  Stay busy and active in program - its a life saver.

Karen

Feather,

I am very happy for your little moment also.  Remember one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time.  I watch the actions (such as helping you with dinner for the kids) versus words (that can sometimes end up in broken promises.

I hope you both work your separate programs.  It can work out to be a phenomenal relationship.

Maria123

Thank you all for your well wishes. It is so hard not to get to excited about this. I am just enjoying the moment. I am seeing a clarity in his eyes that I haven't seen in a very long time and it gives me hope that he will be successful in his sobriety. He has been in AA before, so it is not something all new for for him. It is a matter of working the steps and sticking to them I believe. I have seen him do it before so I know he has it in him. For whatever reason he stopped, but that I will not concern myself with. Forgive me my friends I have so much running through my mind right now I am not sure how much sense I am really making. I have much to do today for my little mens' birthday(they are 7 today). This is going to be a wonderful day for all of us!

Feather

Good for your hubby, I hope things continue to go well for you both. I know you don't want to get your hopes up, but it is nice to be happy in the moment and enjoy this time as a family. Hope your boys had a great birthday.