I've been sitting here for an hour repeating the mantra ... oh Lord please help us both to find a way to follow your path ... this morning I decided I can not watch my husband go through the same cycle as every time in the last 12 years. I pulled out the seperation papers I had drawn up and read them, even that did not change my mind. This afternoon when I got home, we talked I explained that I love him with all my heart and I can not go through this cycle again without seeing a commitment from him for lasting recovery. Not just being sober for a month or year or any amount of time but an honest effort to follow proven methods of recovery, to be happier, healthier, to be whole. He said you're really going to do it? He said he is scared, that he does not know what he wants, that he knows he can not do it alone. He has been sitting on the porch for hours, I have been trying to keep busy. I found him watching "Leaving Las Vegas" the other night ... I fear he has a wish to be a martyr in his own way. Lord please help us both find a way to follow your path. Thanks for being here.
Jenny
whitie said
Jun 9, 2005
Jenny
I have my own mantra that gets me through each lately. God, grant me the serenity and show me the way.
Simple, but it reminds me that I'm not the boss. I need to reminded of that alot lately.My a husband seems to have been drinking tonight. It was less than 2 weeks since he told me that he's done. I knew he wasn't because he won't work the program. His program is no program. So I work harder on mine!
Thank you for being here!
Whitie
Diva said
Jun 10, 2005
Remind him that he will not be doing it alone. When he is ready, his HP will be there for him to lean on. I fully understand your position, which is mine exactly. I know one of the slogans is, "One day at a time", but, like you, I want to know there is a plan for long-term sobriety in place. You and I cannot do that for them. It's hard. I know. My love and positive thoughts are with you. Diva
Jolert said
Jun 11, 2005
Hello Whitie, Diva,
Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. I borrowed your mantra Whitie for a couple hours yesterday just for a change of pace
One day at a time, is a complex slogan to me ... I can accept living fully each day and letting go of yesterday, along with not dwelling on tomorrow. It's the 10 years from now I have challenges with. I need goals and hopes in life I can't find a way to have those without looking to the future which seems to conflict with living one day at a time. It's a fine line to walk.
For now ... I am comfortable with the fact I calmly told him what I needed. I wait as patiently as possible for an answer, or until I decide that no answer is an answer in it's own way.
Hello everyone,
I've been sitting here for an hour repeating the mantra ... oh Lord please help us both to find a way to follow your path ... this morning I decided I can not watch my husband go through the same cycle as every time in the last 12 years. I pulled out the seperation papers I had drawn up and read them, even that did not change my mind. This afternoon when I got home, we talked I explained that I love him with all my heart and I can not go through this cycle again without seeing a commitment from him for lasting recovery. Not just being sober for a month or year or any amount of time but an honest effort to follow proven methods of recovery, to be happier, healthier, to be whole. He said you're really going to do it? He said he is scared, that he does not know what he wants, that he knows he can not do it alone. He has been sitting on the porch for hours, I have been trying to keep busy. I found him watching "Leaving Las Vegas" the other night ... I fear he has a wish to be a martyr in his own way. Lord please help us both find a way to follow your path. Thanks for being here.
Jenny
Hello Whitie, Diva,
Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. I borrowed your mantra Whitie for a couple hours yesterday just for a change of pace
One day at a time, is a complex slogan to me ... I can accept living fully each day and letting go of yesterday, along with not dwelling on tomorrow. It's the 10 years from now I have challenges with. I need goals and hopes in life I can't find a way to have those without looking to the future which seems to conflict with living one day at a time. It's a fine line to walk.
For now ... I am comfortable with the fact I calmly told him what I needed. I wait as patiently as possible for an answer, or until I decide that no answer is an answer in it's own way.
Jenny