My foster father turned adopted father was also an alcoholic. When my adopted father drank, I was upset, angry, and very disappointed in him. I lost trust in any promises he had. I wouldn’t believe anything he said when it came to going anywhere. I would wait outside for him and he wouldn’t come home until it was too late to do anything. I used to get so mad and disappointed that he let me down again. The only time I would believe him was when we physical went somewhere. When he punished me he wouldn’t stick around to deal with it, he would leave my mom to be the bad one. When he got home, I was able to change his mind and he let me get away with it. As being, a little kid I thought he was sick and hoping he would get better. When he drank was very mean, he would make comments that would hurt my feeling. When I was a kid, my father used to embarrass me by making scenes in public or at someone’s house. I would want to crawl under the table. One time I was at my friends house and I hung up the phone because I thought he was done, it turned out he wasn’t done. He came over and started to scream at me and ask me why did I hang up the phone on him. I told him that I thought he was done. Another time I was by my other neighbors who also drank, and my father had an argument with the parents and told me I couldn’t stay over night at that house.
My mom took me to a alteen meeting so in the 80’s I did some reading. However, at that time, I really didn’t want to be in the program. I used to sit outside the door or the hallway and not go inside.
He also used to take me to the little liquor store that had a bar in it. As a child, I would count how many beers he used to drink. My parents would fight because of his drinking. There was one time that he threw glass in angry. I was living in the trailer park. I tried as a child to tell him about how I felt about him drinking. He would try to make some kind of deal if I did this then he would stop drinking, when I did that thing, he didn’t stop drinking.
On Aug 30, 1988, I had a talk with my mom about what we were going to do if he didn’t stop drinking; my mom said that he was going to have to leave. When we talked, I was nervous about what was going to happen to me. I didn’t know where we were going to live. I didn’t know if we would even still live with the animals. I was nervous on how my life was going to change. Would they separate and decide to get rid of me? I was very sad at what the future was in store for me. I wasn’t sure how my life was going to turn out. Would I still be able to talk to my adopted father? Would I have to move again to a new town and have to start to make new friends?
In Feb of 1989, he still hadn’t stop drinking so we went to my aunt’s house. My mom came an got me at school in six grade and they called me to come down to the office and they told me that my mom was here to take me. I was very nervous about what was happening. Where we going to stay. How long would we be gone? Would I be going back to the same school? What are people going to say if I don’t live with my dad any more? When I got to the car my cat, all our laundry was in the car, and we headed to my aunt’s house.
In Feb 19, 1989, my father went to rehab for a month. The day he went to the rehab, he was very upset and he didn’t want to stay but my mom wasn’t going to let him come home. I felt sorry for him because he looks very upset. When he went to this rehab, I was very angry with him for changing my life even though it was for the good. I hated going to the aftercare it was boring. I didn’t care about what they were trying to tell me. Wednesday’s I had to sit in the car and be with my mom for a long ride. Being there where no kids to really talk to just adults talking. While at the rehab he used to call and talk to both my mom and me. On the weekend, I slept at my cousin’s house while my mom went to aftercare. I love sleeping at my aunts’ house. I got to play with my cousins.
kismetstrand said
Jun 8, 2005
I just wanted to thank you for sharing this with us ((((((ny))))))). Sat here with tears in my eyes. I've heard my hubby doing the same thing with his girls (and with me) - "i'll quit drinking if you do this" - the deal making, which of course has you said, never gets followed through with. I hate this disease, I hate how it affects the whole family, I hate the pain it causes everyone involved. I so much appreciate your sharing how it affected you as a child/teenager. It helps me so much to see how it is affecting our kids also. Thank you again.
Luv, Kis
nycbt said
Jun 8, 2005
Your welcome. There was writen for my sponsor because she wanted me to write about my life story so I decided to post it so other people can read it. I am glad it helped you.
ALCOHOLIC FATHER
My foster father turned adopted father was also an alcoholic. When my adopted father drank, I was upset, angry, and very disappointed in him. I lost trust in any promises he had. I wouldn’t believe anything he said when it came to going anywhere. I would wait outside for him and he wouldn’t come home until it was too late to do anything. I used to get so mad and disappointed that he let me down again. The only time I would believe him was when we physical went somewhere. When he punished me he wouldn’t stick around to deal with it, he would leave my mom to be the bad one. When he got home, I was able to change his mind and he let me get away with it. As being, a little kid I thought he was sick and hoping he would get better. When he drank was very mean, he would make comments that would hurt my feeling. When I was a kid, my father used to embarrass me by making scenes in public or at someone’s house. I would want to crawl under the table. One time I was at my friends house and I hung up the phone because I thought he was done, it turned out he wasn’t done. He came over and started to scream at me and ask me why did I hang up the phone on him. I told him that I thought he was done. Another time I was by my other neighbors who also drank, and my father had an argument with the parents and told me I couldn’t stay over night at that house.
My mom took me to a alteen meeting so in the 80’s I did some reading. However, at that time, I really didn’t want to be in the program. I used to sit outside the door or the hallway and not go inside.
He also used to take me to the little liquor store that had a bar in it. As a child, I would count how many beers he used to drink. My parents would fight because of his drinking. There was one time that he threw glass in angry. I was living in the trailer park. I tried as a child to tell him about how I felt about him drinking. He would try to make some kind of deal if I did this then he would stop drinking, when I did that thing, he didn’t stop drinking.
On Aug 30, 1988, I had a talk with my mom about what we were going to do if he didn’t stop drinking; my mom said that he was going to have to leave. When we talked, I was nervous about what was going to happen to me. I didn’t know where we were going to live. I didn’t know if we would even still live with the animals. I was nervous on how my life was going to change. Would they separate and decide to get rid of me? I was very sad at what the future was in store for me. I wasn’t sure how my life was going to turn out. Would I still be able to talk to my adopted father? Would I have to move again to a new town and have to start to make new friends?
In Feb of 1989, he still hadn’t stop drinking so we went to my aunt’s house. My mom came an got me at school in six grade and they called me to come down to the office and they told me that my mom was here to take me. I was very nervous about what was happening. Where we going to stay. How long would we be gone? Would I be going back to the same school? What are people going to say if I don’t live with my dad any more? When I got to the car my cat, all our laundry was in the car, and we headed to my aunt’s house.
In Feb 19, 1989, my father went to rehab for a month. The day he went to the rehab, he was very upset and he didn’t want to stay but my mom wasn’t going to let him come home. I felt sorry for him because he looks very upset. When he went to this rehab, I was very angry with him for changing my life even though it was for the good. I hated going to the aftercare it was boring. I didn’t care about what they were trying to tell me. Wednesday’s I had to sit in the car and be with my mom for a long ride. Being there where no kids to really talk to just adults talking. While at the rehab he used to call and talk to both my mom and me. On the weekend, I slept at my cousin’s house while my mom went to aftercare. I love sleeping at my aunts’ house. I got to play with my cousins.
I just wanted to thank you for sharing this with us ((((((ny))))))). Sat here with tears in my eyes. I've heard my hubby doing the same thing with his girls (and with me) - "i'll quit drinking if you do this" - the deal making, which of course has you said, never gets followed through with. I hate this disease, I hate how it affects the whole family, I hate the pain it causes everyone involved. I so much appreciate your sharing how it affected you as a child/teenager. It helps me so much to see how it is affecting our kids also. Thank you again.
Luv, Kis