I have found an apartment. i filled out the app, left a deposit and am waiting on the credit check

i like the apartment. it is on the third floor on the corner with a view of NYC.

it will cost me $4000 to move in.

I only have $4000 if i do not pay my credit card bill. It is $3000 due to living in the hotel. So I took a check from another credit card to pay it. the other credit card sent me checks with a 1.99 apr. then after i move in and the money flow catchs up i will apy off the credit card.
I am new to managing money. my a always did it.

we went for a mountain bike ride yesterday and i asked him  for my half of our money (my therapist told me to do this)

he said the money was in his name and was his and that he had earned it (we BOTh did over the 14 years) he made 2 1/2 times what i made but he hasn't worked in 3 years and NJ is a community property state.

my therapist said that in 10 years he can easily go through 1 mill and i believe her.

i guess it is time to call the lawyer that my sister suggested to me.

Is there any was for me to get my half before the divorce?- 18 months of separation in NJ is required before filing for divorce.

i could do it quicker but i would have to do it for "cause" ie alcoholism...and i am not ready today to do that.

any links to online legal info?

 

thanks for listening

megan

Hi (((((Megan)))))

When I was going through my divorce I found this website very helpful:

www.freeadvice.com

Hope it can offer you some help.  I'm not sure how it is in your state, but here were I am, you could get those funds frozen so that they wouldn't all "disappear" during that 18 month waiting period. 

I would certainly suggest contacting that lawyer too! 

Glad to hear your getting an appartment...and the view sounds lovely...

Take care of yourself!

Yours in Recovery,

David

Thank-you very much David

my husband said he would take his money and hide it, or buy a house with it and then he said lets not talk about the money

thank-you for the info and the link and the hugs

Awesome on the new pad Megan, Sit face to face with a lawyer. You have rights that go beyond live in relationships. I'm glad your counselor is a girl. She knows what she is saying. Me and my a appear to be reinventing what we had under healthier circumstance this time. I closed the purse strings and asked him what is he thinking, as gentle as I could and he split. I'd not look for online advise - I have to take classes online and loops do take place online that can prove to be quite expensive. Face to face with a lawyer is the way to go. Bite the bullet - g g has a free minded post that suggests to not bury the head in the sand no more. To face it. I had to with my a-s behavioral responses with me. I had to face it with the Department of Education when they try to freeze me out, by face it I mean say no to them and yes to me, to take a stand for me. Recovery is about you. You go girl! Oceans of love, \/\/ille

hi Megan

Awesome news on finding the apartment.  One big step of many you will take I am sure. 

I don't know much about law but I would think that no matter how he tries to hide it, i.e. buying a house, you are entitled to half.  I guess a worst case scenario would be if he just spent it frivilously on vacations or the like, or of course drinks it away.  Perhaps a lawyer can help have all the assets "frozen" until things can be settled?  Good luck to you my friend.

Bonnie

Than-you Wille and Bonnie

I will call the lawyer and make an appointment today

Megan,

I wish you well with the new apartment.

As far as the money, you are right NJ is a community property state, and you are entitled to your share, it doesn't matter whose name the money is in you are married.

I agree with the others, a lawyer or even family court can probably get you the money or at least have it frozen before the divorce.

Enjoy getting ready for your move and planning to decorate your new apartment.

                                         Love Jeannie

Thank-you Jeanne for the kind words.

I am looking forward to decorating my apartment.

I never lived alone.

I am looking forward to that too

Thanks for the info about NJ and community property

Good luck your new apt. I know you are going to make it. It is going to be really hard at times being lonely but you have people on line and me to help you through it. Don't forget you have your family also help you.

I am glad that you got you are planning your future. Rember take you time figuring out the bills. Rember ask the company to have automative with draw and then you wont have to worry about writing out the check.

Becky