So as I mentioned in my last post that the interventionis I met gave me the much needed support and encouragement to talk to my husband and it worked. Last night when I had the oppertunity and didn't chicken out, which is huge for me because usually I think about it and get my self all worked up about what I have on my mind and then very rarely do any talking. Well all of what I talked to him about was from the heart not in a blameful or victim kind of way. This was a first in many many years!! I told him how I recognise that it is the disease and not him intentionally hurting us but that effects of the disease are really effecting the kids and I. How I see the cycle that we grew up with has continued through us and that I want it to stop with us. I told him that I love him very much and that I am very concerned for his helth and that I would like very much for our marrage to work and that I would like him to get help, not that I am forcing him into rehab but would like him to consider it and/or AA. I mentioned to him that I met Tom and that he has 29 yrs sober and how wonderful a man he is and that he is willing to caome and talk to him if he would like that. I asked him to think about everything that I said and to think about the options that I let him know about including treatment and AA. He actually listened and agreed to think about it and consider it. He even got a bit teary eyed.
I put no expectations on him and feel content with how it ended. Now it is up to him and his HP.
I will pray for him and continue to take care of me and my kids.
Yesterday was a really big turnig point for me, I let go of alot of fear. Feel much better about myself and have confidence in myself.
I have many many people to thank and this program to thank for such progress. Thank you to all my friends and to MIP for the support and courage you have given me.
Love in recovery JJ
TLC2 said
Jun 1, 2005
You're doin' great girl, I'm so happy for you!! How is your health, by the way?? Keep on kickin'!!! Love, TLC
Belongtome said
Jun 1, 2005
Good for you. As I read your post, I think I was holding my breath, until you said you really had the discussion with your A.
Most of my "discussions" are me, all by myself, rehearsing that which I would like to discuss with my a. No matter what I say, or to which he may agree, the talk usually ends up with me feeling "maybe I am in the wrong" and he's right.
But, back to you, thank you for your share, and I hope you have a great day
lin0606 said
Jun 1, 2005
"Most of my "discussions" are me, all by myself, rehearsing that which I would like to discuss with my a. "
Boy, does that ever sound familiar! Good for you jj, for actually having the talk.
lil_feathered_one said
Jun 1, 2005
Good for you JJ! I was and still am the same way sometimes... I know exactly what I want to say to mine but very seldom can get it out. Or if I do manage to get it out get the typical A behaviors and him trying to put the blame off on me. You did good hun! I will be praying for you that you find your happiness!
Feather
oceanbabe said
Jun 1, 2005
Wow JJ! That almost made me cry reading that. I admire your courage and your faithfullness...not giving up in a time when it would almost be easier to do exactly that. (((Giant hugs to you my friend!)))
Shell
Jeannie said
Jun 2, 2005
(((JJ)))
You did great! You said what you needed to say and said it kindly and with love. You planted the seed and now it is up to him and his HP what to do with it.
I hope you are feeling better, and I hope hubby thinks long and hard and things go well.
Love Jeannie
jj said
Jun 2, 2005
Thanks you guys!!! hearing it just reinforces how I feel.
So as I mentioned in my last post that the interventionis I met gave me the much needed support and encouragement to talk to my husband and it worked. Last night when I had the oppertunity and didn't chicken out, which is huge for me because usually I think about it and get my self all worked up about what I have on my mind and then very rarely do any talking. Well all of what I talked to him about was from the heart not in a blameful or victim kind of way. This was a first in many many years!! I told him how I recognise that it is the disease and not him intentionally hurting us but that effects of the disease are really effecting the kids and I. How I see the cycle that we grew up with has continued through us and that I want it to stop with us. I told him that I love him very much and that I am very concerned for his helth and that I would like very much for our marrage to work and that I would like him to get help, not that I am forcing him into rehab but would like him to consider it and/or AA. I mentioned to him that I met Tom and that he has 29 yrs sober and how wonderful a man he is and that he is willing to caome and talk to him if he would like that. I asked him to think about everything that I said and to think about the options that I let him know about including treatment and AA. He actually listened and agreed to think about it and consider it. He even got a bit teary eyed.
I put no expectations on him and feel content with how it ended. Now it is up to him and his HP.
I will pray for him and continue to take care of me and my kids.
Yesterday was a really big turnig point for me, I let go of alot of fear. Feel much better about myself and have confidence in myself.
I have many many people to thank and this program to thank for such progress. Thank you to all my friends and to MIP for the support and courage you have given me.
Love in recovery JJ
Good for you. As I read your post, I think I was holding my breath, until you said you really had the discussion with your A.
Most of my "discussions" are me, all by myself, rehearsing that which I would like to discuss with my a. No matter what I say, or to which he may agree, the talk usually ends up with me feeling "maybe I am in the wrong" and he's right.
But, back to you, thank you for your share, and I hope you have a great day
Good for you JJ! I was and still am the same way sometimes... I know exactly what I want to say to mine but very seldom can get it out. Or if I do manage to get it out get the typical A behaviors and him trying to put the blame off on me. You did good hun! I will be praying for you that you find your happiness!
Feather
Wow JJ! That almost made me cry reading that. I admire your courage and your faithfullness...not giving up in a time when it would almost be easier to do exactly that. (((Giant hugs to you my friend!)))
Shell
(((JJ)))
You did great! You said what you needed to say and said it kindly and with love. You planted the seed and now it is up to him and his HP what to do with it.
I hope you are feeling better, and I hope hubby thinks long and hard and things go well.
Love Jeannie
Thanks you guys!!! hearing it just reinforces how I feel.
I have an update I will post above.
Love JJ