I have been friends with this guy friend for 16 yrs. At times he has been the only friend that I have counted on and took advice from. When I was having problems with the man I was going out with who I have married he has been jelously of me. He was the first guy I dated as kids so it really wasn't. He has always had a crush on me and gets sad when i don't have any problems, I know that sound bad but that is the way he is. At one time I enjoy that kind of stuff but since I am in Alanon I am trying to grow and get girlfriends which he doesn't have any friends so he is again jelousey of my progress. I have told myself that I should still talk to him but not really tell him my problems because he really doesn't really have the information to know what advice to give. He stills lives with his father and he is always charging these and not able to pay his bills. I have been on my own since the age of 21, it was 7 yrs ago. I am his only friend that he talks to an tells his problems too. I am trying to break away alittle from him and try and talk to other people.

I have a good job that I have been at for 7 yrs. I also have both guys friends and girlfriends. I am his only friend that he talks  to. He hasn't been able to find someone to go out with.

BECKY

If you enjoy your time with him, and like his company, fine, why not spend time with him? If you are just spending time with him because you feel guilty if you don't, maybe you need to look at your own boundaries. Friendship does make demands on us, but I think a person should feel better after spending time with a friend, not worse.

Misery loves company!! I had a friend since I was about 13, at least I thought she was a friend. We kind of drifted apart for a few years, she got married, I got married and moved away.. I moved back for a few years, and we were quite close. She wasn't happy in her marriage, and neither was I so we had lots to commiserate about.. I moved away again, but this time we kept in touch, writing ' books 'to each other. I finally moved home for good and only a few miles from her. I had always felt so sorry for her and was always taking her places, buying her things.. then, I just couldn't take any more and got a divorce. I met a man who I was very happy with, and she couldn't handle it. She was very jealous and hated my boyfriend basically, because I as so happy with him!! She found out that he was an Alcoholic and that made her happy! I had thought she was my best friend, but with friends like that, who needs enemies!!!??

The same thing happened with my aunt, who I had always considered a second mother. She was jealous and hated my boyfriend!! I felt sooo betrayed by two people who had meant so much to me!!

Now, I find it sooo hard to trust people, and just stick to myself except for the man I love and my kids. And of course, my friends here on this board. My aunt has since died and my ex-friend, I don't see her any more. We did used to have fun together, and I miss that, but just can't accept the fact that she's not happy unless I'm miserable!!

Just a share, take what you want and leave the rest.., Love TLC

I had a friend and it was a very simmilar situation. HE HATES my husband!! Loved me leaning on him... Well he met a woman and I have not heard from him since!! We were the best of friends!!  They are now married.

I hope that it doesn't happen to you.  I miss his friend ship very much.

Best of luck with what ever you do.

JJ

thank you very much you guys helped me. He doesn't seem to find the right one. But I do wonder if he does if he will still talk to me as much. But I have found that when I first told him I was getting married he was upset about it, but after a while he has now realize that I am going to stay married so he knows he has to deal with it. When I was having problems he was sort of happy becuse I would be talking to him more. He tells me that I talk alot but I hardly talk at all he is the one who is talking about all his problems and I sort of tell him bits an pieces of my problems because he doesn't really understand he never had to learn responsibly.