So I have mentioned that I have met an interventionist and today I spoke to him again. He gives me so much insperation and helps so much. I feel great!!! He told many things to help me communicate to my husband. Being honest and laying it ALL on the line for him and asking him what he wants out of life and where he sees our relationship going and so on. The biggest thing for me is the effects of the disease on our children that he needs to know and realize for himself. Also to ask him if he is interested in talking to someone that has sober time. Then if he says yes and it is a positive "talk" then to call him and go ahead and have him come over and speak to him from experience. I feel so exilerated!! THEN my dad called which many of you know was a problem for me growing up and spoke to me about his drinking when I was young and how he knows that it was affecting us but that my husband is far past what he ever was. Well I had the oppertunity to tell him that working my program has brought up alot of what happened when I was young and that I don't regret anything or hold a grudge or blame him for any of it. He also admitted to me that his drinking these days is getting to be too much again and that he realizes that. WOW. All of this is having such an impact on my dad and he is thinking about all the things that hurt our family when he was out of control. My dad and I have a really good relationship and I am greatful for that and that I can talk to him and be open with him. Today I feel like we had a break through on an even broader spectrum.
Tonight before I leave for my meeting I will talk to my husband about it all no holds barr and not fear the rath of hubby. Life is not meant to be lived in fear and my self esteem needs improved and only I can do that. Standing up and saying what is bothering me or effecting me is one way of doing that.
I am so greatful for my HP introducing TOM to me he is truely a wonderful person.
My son wants on the computer so I will end this.
Love JJ
mariposa said
May 31, 2005
That is great!!!
Where do you find an "interventionist"? - I have seen clips of a show with that title, but never the whole thing. I always want something like that to come on when my alcoholic boyfriend is around, but whenever anything even close happens to come on - it's just denial and stories about how much further along everyone else is and how he has it all under control.....
Love & Hugs,
Mariposa
jj said
Jun 1, 2005
Thanks for your reply TT. Hope is one thing that I have gotten back in working my program and I have taken me back and part of this even if hubby does not decuide to get help or embrace what is infront of him. What I have done for me is take back my confidance, I talked to him openly and honestly with no critisism or anger just pure heart and he listend instead of jumpping on the defencive side of the spectrum and the fight was NOT on. So nice to feel again. He actually listened and it was about me, the kids and what effects the disease is having on us and that we love him and just want the best that we can get. So I asked him to consider going to AA and/or talking to someone with sobriety (the interventionist). He agreed to think about it and consider what I had to say. I was affraid for nothing.
Mariposa, I found this guy through my mom she had met him a few years ago.. This man like I said has 29 yrs sobriety and does not do what you see on the show. He first of all was interested in helpping me. What he does is talk to the A's encourage AA and share his story. He is forcefull if need be but it depends on the situation. I was also given the information of another interventionist from a lady from my home group. So for me it was by word of mouth. I have gotten so much from just speaking with the fellow that helpped with my confidance and self estheme. I am not sure if you go to meetings but if you know any body that is from AA you could ask them. The 2 men that are willing to talk to my husband are both AA members. I hope that some of this helps you. Feel free to ask any questions or pm me if you would like to ask more.
So I have mentioned that I have met an interventionist and today I spoke to him again. He gives me so much insperation and helps so much. I feel great!!! He told many things to help me communicate to my husband. Being honest and laying it ALL on the line for him and asking him what he wants out of life and where he sees our relationship going and so on. The biggest thing for me is the effects of the disease on our children that he needs to know and realize for himself. Also to ask him if he is interested in talking to someone that has sober time. Then if he says yes and it is a positive "talk" then to call him and go ahead and have him come over and speak to him from experience. I feel so exilerated!! THEN my dad called which many of you know was a problem for me growing up and spoke to me about his drinking when I was young and how he knows that it was affecting us but that my husband is far past what he ever was. Well I had the oppertunity to tell him that working my program has brought up alot of what happened when I was young and that I don't regret anything or hold a grudge or blame him for any of it. He also admitted to me that his drinking these days is getting to be too much again and that he realizes that. WOW. All of this is having such an impact on my dad and he is thinking about all the things that hurt our family when he was out of control. My dad and I have a really good relationship and I am greatful for that and that I can talk to him and be open with him. Today I feel like we had a break through on an even broader spectrum.
Tonight before I leave for my meeting I will talk to my husband about it all no holds barr and not fear the rath of hubby. Life is not meant to be lived in fear and my self esteem needs improved and only I can do that. Standing up and saying what is bothering me or effecting me is one way of doing that.
I am so greatful for my HP introducing TOM to me he is truely a wonderful person.
My son wants on the computer so I will end this.
Love JJ
That is great!!!
Where do you find an "interventionist"? - I have seen clips of a show with that title, but never the whole thing. I always want something like that to come on when my alcoholic boyfriend is around, but whenever anything even close happens to come on - it's just denial and stories about how much further along everyone else is and how he has it all under control.....
Love & Hugs,
Mariposa
Thanks for your reply TT. Hope is one thing that I have gotten back in working my program and I have taken me back and part of this even if hubby does not decuide to get help or embrace what is infront of him. What I have done for me is take back my confidance, I talked to him openly and honestly with no critisism or anger just pure heart and he listend instead of jumpping on the defencive side of the spectrum and the fight was NOT on. So nice to feel again. He actually listened and it was about me, the kids and what effects the disease is having on us and that we love him and just want the best that we can get. So I asked him to consider going to AA and/or talking to someone with sobriety (the interventionist). He agreed to think about it and consider what I had to say. I was affraid for nothing.
Mariposa, I found this guy through my mom she had met him a few years ago.. This man like I said has 29 yrs sobriety and does not do what you see on the show. He first of all was interested in helpping me. What he does is talk to the A's encourage AA and share his story. He is forcefull if need be but it depends on the situation. I was also given the information of another interventionist from a lady from my home group. So for me it was by word of mouth. I have gotten so much from just speaking with the fellow that helpped with my confidance and self estheme. I am not sure if you go to meetings but if you know any body that is from AA you could ask them. The 2 men that are willing to talk to my husband are both AA members. I hope that some of this helps you. Feel free to ask any questions or pm me if you would like to ask more.
JJ