I'm trying to wind down a little before bed.

My little Conner has just started walking and took a fall into a wall and split his lip open. It was bleeding horribly and very wide so my daughter and I took him to the ER. As a courtesy I called over and told my FIL what happened. He asked if my husband could come up. I said okay (I know I am a fool).

After 6 children you would think I would be used to this, but it never gets easier and I hate the ER.

My daughter me and the baby where in a treatment room and who comes stumbling in but my husband completely smashed. He kept trying to grab the baby from me, and kept trying to give him Fritos.(Okay, not only is he too young for Fritos, but his little lip is split wide opened and Fritos are all salt.) My nerves where shot. Then he starts complaining to me that this is my problem, I get too excited over little things, and don't know how to just "chill" as he put it. Then he starts apologizing to the hospital workers for me. I was fine, holding on to my baby. He was the one falling all over everything. My daughter then snapped at him and said leave Momy alone, she isn't the one who is drunk. That didn't sit too well. I told her to please don't start with her father.

When the plastic surgeon got there, they had to restrain Conner for stitches, and he kept kicking out of the leg restraints so I held his legs down, and cood to him. The Dr kept telling my husband to please get out of the way as he kept going by the baby's head and it is a sterile field. He asked him to leave the room several times and my husbad just ignored him.

I asked him several times to leave. My FIL called to see how the baby was and I asked him why they sent him up there drunk. He gave his usual he wasn't that bad, and then said it is his child too and told me I had better calm down.

My nerves are shot tonight.  know it was something relatively simple, but any injury to a child is no fun, and he was screaming so bad when they stiched his little lip. All I wanted to do was grab him and run, instead I was one of the meanies holding him down. Being an adult really stinks sometimes.

He's sleeping now, his poor little mouth is stitched up, but will be good as new. I have a few more gray hairs and a lot less hope.

I shouldn't have called there, but I felt he is his baby too and he should know. He was going to see the stitches anyway. It is a Wednesday night and we had counseling this afternoon, it never occured to stupid me that he would be drunk.

On a brighter note, While we where at the hospital I left my 4 and 7 year old with my 18 year old son and my 16 year old daughter. I came home to the house completely straightened and vaccumed, the coffee set up for the morning. The little guys bathed and put to bed, and my 7 year olds homework done. The lunches are packed and backpacks are by the door. They even fed the animals and emptied the dishwasher. When I sign off here, all I have to do is wash the blood out of my hair (he was snuggling me) and go to bed and cuddle with Conner. They really are great kids! (Sorry if I am too proud of a parent, but I really do love and appreciate them so much). I know I have said it before, but when it comes to my children I am so blessed, more than I could have ever imagined.

Thanks for letting me vent, I hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow.

I love you all...Jeannie

I'm so sorry about everything you are going through, but I am so happy you have such amazing children.  YOU are doing a great job.

mom to 2

OH Jeannie I am glad he is ok. Poor little soul. Your kids are so wonderful. You must be so proud lady. Six kids, I am so envious. I wish I had, had more than my much loved two. My sons friends are my kids though. oh our poor a too. dang it. Jeannie, you did the right thing. It is ok. Of course you called him. I bet you won't next time though. Your daughter is protective of you. I am actually proud of her telling him not to treat you badly. Jeannie you are a very strong woman. I know, I know you are saying you don't feel like it. But you are. Can ya believe how your older ones straightened the house? HOw cool is that? I thought the agreement the in laws were not to be part of things anymore... so sad. But I have hope for you and kids. I really do. You are giving it your all, you will know that you did, and you will feel you have nothing to feel guilty for, if you have to cut him out of your life. I had to give my a my all too. Taking him in, and basically giving him a chance more than once to kick out here, I know I gave it my all. Whether he used or not, was not my concern. I did it for ME. One of my sons old childhood friends, the only one who did not grow up, is a mess on meth. I told mac, for me, i want to grab J and have mac take us up to a place I know and get him clean in the woods. Give him one last chance from me. I want to do it for me. To know I put him in a situation where he had to get clean, he cannot get away as it is way up in the mountains. He is in such a bad place, someone is going to kill him. sigh. Jeannie I have so much respect for you. This time will go so fast, this time with those cool kids. I hope you have the energy to really see them and enjoy them. Sometime just sit in a chair and really look at them. Be a wise woman, relax and take a breath and feel serenity and watch I love to do this. much love to you and your booboo boy. debilyn

Hi Jeannie - Oh My - poor Conner. It's good his lip will be good as new. You have great kids and that can only be because you've been a great Mom and done a good job raising them in spite of the elephant in the living room. Give yourself a big pat on the back. It takes a lot of courage and dedication to do that. Love - Dot ((((((((((Conner))))))))))) (((((((((((Jeannie)))))))))

Jeannie,

    You can't beat yourself up for being a good parent.  You did what made you feel right.  I know that if my child went to the hospitol it would be hard not to tell my a.  Although I do anticipate that he will be drunk and annoying and that I don't want to deal with it.  I have found it best to tell him after the fact if it isn't life threatening.  Although we live together so he pretty much knows what is going on, I leave him in charge of the other child so that he has something to do and won't add to any already nerve racking situation.

     Next time you will take this experience and make the choice that works for you and thats all you can do.  Coming home and finding your house and kids the way you did just proves that you are doing the best you can and they are responding to that.

     Be strong and give that little one a big hug for me, I've been there and I know how you feel.

Love Ya,

Holly

Jeannie, you amaze me beyond my ability to express! You are a role model for anyone dealing with an alcoholic spouse or partner. I know it isn't easy for you, yet you always land on your feet. Keep on going on, friend. There is a place all carved out for you in paradise. With love and deep caring, Diva