I'm wondering if I can join this board. I'm not actively involved with an alcoholic. My grandfather was an alcoholic. My mother's father. He lived with us for a few years when I was a child. I recently just found out he was an alcoholic. Neither one of my parents are, but I think my mom has many of the characteristics and uses food, shopping and other things as her addiction. I am having a difficult time having a relationship with her. I don't trust anything she says, and I come away not knowing what just happened. Would this be a good group to learn how to detach with "love" as they say. I find myself rumminating about our conversations, what I should had said or did, or if only she's understand me. But since she isn't really an alcoholic I don't want to intrude in this group??
Lanchas said
May 24, 2005
Michelle77,
I would say yes you could join becuase of this, which I quote from the MIP Al-Anon Family Group Homepage: "Membership is voluntary, requiring only that one's own life has been adversely affected by someone else's drinking problem." This is only my opinion.
Lanchas
lin0606 said
May 24, 2005
Yes, I would say you could join, too. If you find that what we have to say can help you, then this is the place for you. If you find that nothing we are talking about applies to any of your problems, that will become clear to you in time.
I know that I have come across, in al anon readings, references to people who have never even MET the A in their lives, but just feel the shock waves coming down through the generations. You may find the book "From Survival to Recovery" helpful - it is aimed at those who have grown up in alcoholic homes.
dot said
May 24, 2005
Welcome Michelle - Our Third Tradition says - "The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend".
Your Mom is an adult child of an alcoholic and as such has been affected by the disease - and because of that so have you.
You are in the right place. Please keep coming back.
Love and hugs - Dot
Jeannie said
May 24, 2005
Hi Michelle and welcome,
Alcoholism is a family disease and the effects do not go away when the alcoholic either stops drinking or dies. Many of the ladies in my home face to face group are wives of alcoholics that are long dead.
Children of alcoholics have distinct things in common as do grandchildren of alcoholics. Alcoholism affects the way we think and the way we live and can be passed to future generations unless we break the cycle with ourselves, Our way of living and thinking.
Instead of living life to the fullest children of alcoholics learn to walk softly (on egg shells), passify, settle and take care of everyone and everything except themselves. Alanon teaches us that in order to be happy, we need to start taking care of oursleves and living and making ourselves happy.
Like the others have said, why not read what others have to say and see what pertains to your life. Take what you want and leave the rest. Post your own thoughts and see what others have to say. You might want to check out the Adult children of Alcoholics (ACOA) message board as well, you can get to it from the main menu.
Hi,
I'm wondering if I can join this board. I'm not actively involved with an alcoholic. My grandfather was an alcoholic. My mother's father. He lived with us for a few years when I was a child. I recently just found out he was an alcoholic. Neither one of my parents are, but I think my mom has many of the characteristics and uses food, shopping and other things as her addiction. I am having a difficult time having a relationship with her. I don't trust anything she says, and I come away not knowing what just happened. Would this be a good group to learn how to detach with "love" as they say. I find myself rumminating about our conversations, what I should had said or did, or if only she's understand me. But since she isn't really an alcoholic I don't want to intrude in this group??
Michelle77,
I would say yes you could join becuase of this, which I quote from the MIP Al-Anon Family Group Homepage: "Membership is voluntary, requiring only that one's own life has been adversely affected by someone else's drinking problem." This is only my opinion.
Lanchas
Hi Michelle and welcome,
Alcoholism is a family disease and the effects do not go away when the alcoholic either stops drinking or dies. Many of the ladies in my home face to face group are wives of alcoholics that are long dead.
Children of alcoholics have distinct things in common as do grandchildren of alcoholics. Alcoholism affects the way we think and the way we live and can be passed to future generations unless we break the cycle with ourselves, Our way of living and thinking.
Instead of living life to the fullest children of alcoholics learn to walk softly (on egg shells), passify, settle and take care of everyone and everything except themselves. Alanon teaches us that in order to be happy, we need to start taking care of oursleves and living and making ourselves happy.
Like the others have said, why not read what others have to say and see what pertains to your life. Take what you want and leave the rest. Post your own thoughts and see what others have to say. You might want to check out the Adult children of Alcoholics (ACOA) message board as well, you can get to it from the main menu.
Love Jeannie