I actually went to one tonight!!  It was good.  I have only been to one meeting before - that was a couple of years ago.  I knew I needed to go, but I really didn't *want* to go.  I guess I have been comfortable in my dysfunction and afraid to go for a lot of reasons, but I did it and I am going to go back next week.  The only problem that I had was that I was late for the meeting.   The internet meeting schedule still had the old time posted so I arrived at 6:51 thinking that the meeting started at 7PM.  They changed the time and the meeting starts at 6:30 now.  So, I walked in after it started.  Someone else came after me, so it wasn't so bad.  They had everyone go around and read a chapter from one of the books - the chapter for our birthday and talk about it.  Mine was very fitting.  It talked about making small changes - something I need to work on - of course.  After the meeting one of the ladies spoke with me for a while and gave me three pamplets that I am going to go read now.  She even gave me her phone number and said that I can call if I need to talk.  I also received the books I ordered from Al-anon today "One Day At A Time", "Courage to Change", and "Hope For Today".

When I got home, my boyfriend was SOBER!!!  He went to the grocery store and bought corn on the cob and was cooking it.  I am going to go read these pamphlets and eat corn on the cob and watch a movie.  Everything feels good right now....  (I hope it stays that way... I know I need to stop thinking like that, too...)

Thanks everyone!

 

(PS - if there is something wrong with this message and you are going to lock or close it, please let me know what I have done wrong, so I don't fret over it all day..... Thanks!)

 

Mariposa,

  Welcome to alanon.  I am so happy your first meeting went well.  Keep going back and things will get better.  Alaon has many wonderful tools to aid you in your recovery.  Putting the focus on you will keep you from obsessing over your A.  See you in the chat room.

                                                 Hugs,

                                                 danz

So glad you went again!!!!  Good for you.  I did the same thing as you did about 6 yrs ago, i went and did stick around for a while, but what do you know, i started getting better; so much so that I thought I was cured!!! lol Well, the second time around I knew I needed this program too.  So glad you went to a f2f, good for you. 

yours in recovery, Trina

ps you did just wonderful with your post

Hello Mariposa  good for you , keep going u won't believe what this prog can do for you.  U said u bought a OdAT   , small blue daily reader, go to page on july14th do what it says to the best of your ability and your life will get better I read that page for 6months til i understood it and was able to work it. Also pick up one of our detachment pamphlets , the page in the odat and that pamphlet will keep u busy for along time. hehe good luck  Louise

Hi - You've taken a very big step by going to the f2f meeting. You are starting a journey through the steps that will make your life better. It doesn't mean there won't be bumps in the road - but you'll have the tools and the support you need to cope with them. Keep coming back. Love and hugs - Dot

Hi, and thanks everyone!!  I do feel a lot better having gone to a face to face meeting.  Not nearly as confused about how it all works.

I read July 14 and I have some questions about that...  I am going to do this for ME.  If it helps him stop drinking that would be a great "side effect" - for lack of a better term.  But I don't know if that will happen.  He lived alone for a long time before I came into his life - and he was an alcoholic back then, living alone.  He (most likely, I wasn't here to really know) had to clean up his own messes then and had to deal with the drinking alone.  He still drank.  He had other relationships that ended due to his drinking and he had to deal with that and kept drinking...  So, I don't know if my detachment will be able to motivate him or cause him to see the error of his ways or anything.  I am going to do this so that I won't feel like I am going crazy, like I have been lately.  I guess I just don't have faith that anything will help him at this point, but I have to have faith that it will help me. 

I did get the pamphlet called Detachment.   I even ordered a big one by Evelyn Leite (I think that's her name) called Detachment.  I know I have to learn how to do that for me because lately I think I have been even sicker than he is. 

Mariposa, Just wanted to add to all the positive messages about going to a meeting. As we say in the Al-Anon closing, "there is no situation too difficult to be bettered and no unhappiness too great to be lessened." Keep coming back. Love and hugs, Jessi

Hi!

I just recently started attending meetings also and I believe it will make a big difference in our lives. It is so hard not to obsess about the alcoholic and try to figure out what he's going to do next and get ready for it. It is hard to love him and fear what he can do to your heart but thses are things that I am working hard on detaching from and turning over to God. That is probably going to be the most difficult thing I have ever done, if I ever get it done, because I keep trying and then taking it all back. But I think that going to these meetings will make a huge difference for me and for you too. Congratulations because it is a difficult first step to make. It took me years but now I carry my little books with me in a backpack everywhere I go and they are like a security blanket. I am learning a lot and you will too. I'll try to stay in touch. Maybe we can help each other since we're both newbies.

Teresa