I posted a while ago that my SIL wanted to have a talk to my AH about things that she has noticed in him and that she is concerned about his health. Well she had her talk with him and she thought he really listened to her which sounded good. He may have very well taken her talk to heart but has done nothing to make any changes which I knew better than to expect anything from the talk but one can have hope. So any way this talk was on last Friday which of course is one of the deffinately going out nights as you can immagine he came home in the fight mood and did things that he hasn't done in such a long time. Woke me up and my son in his vulgar mood yelling and blaming the conversation on me. I knew that would happen. I waited until Saturday to talk to him about it and just told him that no matter what he believes that i did not ask her to talk to him or advise her to do anything. I told him that his actions affect the kids and I and hurt us and that he did not seem to care. Which he replied that he does care. Now a week later he is still in the fight mood about anything and everything when he has been drinking and mr. nice guy when he is sober.
He for the first time got concerned about my health when I mentioned that I had yet another Dr appointment today and that I am finally going to get some test results and began to ask questions... DUUUHHHH It has been a month since I got diagnosed and have beendealing with this all on my own, I feel it is a little late.... I am at the I don't give a dam phase.
I have done alot of thinking about my recovery and have noticed one big error that I continue to make and that is I phone him every day at about 4:30 usually to see if he is comming home for dinner so I know. I fight the urge I really do and know better!!!! So any way as I think about this and have noticed it I came to this realization.... I phone to here his voice... I miss him. If I don't phone we would go days with out talking... he never calls, never asks about the kids... nothing. So here I am I know this is the last thing that I have to let go of and I hope writing it here helps me as telling my self doesn't seem to. NO PHONING!!!!!
That is my oath right here and I fully expect a slap on the hand or something if I don't keep my word!!! LOL maybe a swift kick in the a@$ would be better. LOL
I will post later about my test results, I am prepaired for the best as I could not possibly have anything worse told to me than I have already and I am still kicken and have aot of fight left in me!!
Hugs my friends Love JJ
Jeannie said
May 19, 2005
(((JJ)))
Thats the way to do it JJ, keep fighting!
Your health is the most important thing and it is great to hear you thinking positive about it.
I guess with hubby better late than never, while I know you can't count on it from him all the time, while you are getting stronger, take whatever support and good thoughts you can get. Every little bit helps.
Good luck at the Dr's, I look forward to hearing some good news.
You are and will remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Love Jeannie
TLC2 said
May 19, 2005
OK,OK.. hold out your hand, slap slap, now bend over... There now, feel better? ((((((hugs))))), that should be enough, now we only want good news for you!!!! Hoping and praying your doctor reports are the BEST!!
Love and prayers,TLC
Mark S said
May 20, 2005
JJ,
Thanks for the update...you are right with the feeling that you were going to be blamed for the sister talking to..that was a given. It may have more impact if it came from her without the belief that you were in the background of this conversation...were you? or did this come from her observations and feelings? These are questions he may be asking himself. You never know, if he is still angry and lashing about it,,,maybe it might mean he still facing it and it hurts, regardless where it came from.
The 4:30 call I think, if it is truly because you miss him is not a big deal, he may like the reminder that someone loves him enough to miss him, but if the call is to "check up" or "make sure comes home right after work" or "doesn't stop at bar"..well a motive check may be in order.
Well enough of the weak Dr Phil impersination attempts from me lol..I'm just glad that the health scares are not as scary anymore (as read in another post ya did) YAAAAA my friend JJ!!!
Your friend
Mark S
jj said
May 20, 2005
Mark, (Dr. Phil)
what you said was great!! His sisters talk was baised on many things. Her observation, concern for his health and some of what we share. You see we go to alanon together and try to keep it from being a venting please help me situation and more of a support thing for each other so she does know most of what goes on but I don't tell her the worst of what happens it would scare her to death... Hubby knows that I did nothing to influence the conversation now weather or not he believes it is his choice but I did make myself clear. I did know that I would have the reprocussions to deal with and that it could possibly hurt me thats why I had such reservations about it when she had mentioned the TALK to me. I figured that it was her decision to make.
You are right about the phone calls... About 5 yrs ago they deffinately began as a checking up system that became very painfull to me and I would be mad instantly when he would be at the bar or on his way there. Now I no longer get angry and I am plesant and have the I don't care what you do attitude. It was just recently that I realized that I phone to just here his voice it is weird and I thought it might be an excuse but I don't need an excuse. It's simply hi how are you. But deffinately something I have to keep in check!!!
The health thing is a bit of a relief yesary bob!!! But not over yet! I still need to find out if I have been cured!! I hope so!!! The Dr made it pretty clear that if this clostridiam cellious defficile thing does take over again my body would not be able to handle it but like I said I hope this miricale drug is a cure!!!
TLC TYTY I do feel better
Jeannie you are right take what I can!!!
Thank you my friends sooooo much for your continued support
I posted a while ago that my SIL wanted to have a talk to my AH about things that she has noticed in him and that she is concerned about his health. Well she had her talk with him and she thought he really listened to her which sounded good. He may have very well taken her talk to heart but has done nothing to make any changes which I knew better than to expect anything from the talk but one can have hope. So any way this talk was on last Friday which of course is one of the deffinately going out nights as you can immagine he came home in the fight mood and did things that he hasn't done in such a long time. Woke me up and my son in his vulgar mood yelling and blaming the conversation on me. I knew that would happen. I waited until Saturday to talk to him about it and just told him that no matter what he believes that i did not ask her to talk to him or advise her to do anything. I told him that his actions affect the kids and I and hurt us and that he did not seem to care. Which he replied that he does care. Now a week later he is still in the fight mood about anything and everything when he has been drinking and mr. nice guy when he is sober.
He for the first time got concerned about my health when I mentioned that I had yet another Dr appointment today and that I am finally going to get some test results and began to ask questions... DUUUHHHH It has been a month since I got diagnosed and have beendealing with this all on my own, I feel it is a little late.... I am at the I don't give a dam phase.
I have done alot of thinking about my recovery and have noticed one big error that I continue to make and that is I phone him every day at about 4:30 usually to see if he is comming home for dinner so I know. I fight the urge I really do and know better!!!! So any way as I think about this and have noticed it I came to this realization.... I phone to here his voice... I miss him. If I don't phone we would go days with out talking... he never calls, never asks about the kids... nothing. So here I am I know this is the last thing that I have to let go of and I hope writing it here helps me as telling my self doesn't seem to. NO PHONING!!!!!
That is my oath right here and I fully expect a slap on the hand or something if I don't keep my word!!! LOL maybe a swift kick in the a@$ would be better. LOL
I will post later about my test results, I am prepaired for the best as I could not possibly have anything worse told to me than I have already and I am still kicken and have aot of fight left in me!!
Hugs my friends
Love JJ
(((JJ)))
Thats the way to do it JJ, keep fighting!
Your health is the most important thing and it is great to hear you thinking positive about it.
I guess with hubby better late than never, while I know you can't count on it from him all the time, while you are getting stronger, take whatever support and good thoughts you can get. Every little bit helps.
Good luck at the Dr's, I look forward to hearing some good news.
You are and will remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Love Jeannie
OK,OK.. hold out your hand, slap slap, now bend over... There now, feel better? ((((((hugs))))), that should be enough, now we only want good news for you!!!! Hoping and praying your doctor reports are the BEST!!
Love and prayers,TLC
what you said was great!! His sisters talk was baised on many things. Her observation, concern for his health and some of what we share. You see we go to alanon together and try to keep it from being a venting please help me situation and more of a support thing for each other so she does know most of what goes on but I don't tell her the worst of what happens it would scare her to death... Hubby knows that I did nothing to influence the conversation now weather or not he believes it is his choice but I did make myself clear. I did know that I would have the reprocussions to deal with and that it could possibly hurt me thats why I had such reservations about it when she had mentioned the TALK to me. I figured that it was her decision to make.
You are right about the phone calls... About 5 yrs ago they deffinately began as a checking up system that became very painfull to me and I would be mad instantly when he would be at the bar or on his way there. Now I no longer get angry and I am plesant and have the I don't care what you do attitude. It was just recently that I realized that I phone to just here his voice it is weird and I thought it might be an excuse but I don't need an excuse. It's simply hi how are you. But deffinately something I have to keep in check!!!
The health thing is a bit of a relief yesary bob!!! But not over yet! I still need to find out if I have been cured!! I hope so!!! The Dr made it pretty clear that if this clostridiam cellious defficile thing does take over again my body would not be able to handle it but like I said I hope this miricale drug is a cure!!!
TLC TYTY I do feel better
Jeannie you are right take what I can!!!
Thank you my friends sooooo much for your continued support
Love you all so much!!
JJ