Hi everyone, I left my marriage of 10 years to an A last year and I am finding it very difficult to trust another person. I am always questioning their motives and their whereabouts, that it is just driving me insane. So much so, that I am having nightmares of being betrayed again! I know it is not the other person and that it is me and MY issues, but how do I let go of my fear to not be betrayed again and learn to trust? My marriage was a total emotional rollercoaster, found out stuff that I never ever knew or maybe didn't want to know and now I have to sort it all out for my own sanity. But trying to sort it out is just so difficult that I become obsessive with my lack of trust. AAAGGGHHH! Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated.
Thanks for listening- Samena
QnJoan said
May 18, 2005
Hi Samena,
I had a very hard time learning to trust again after my divorce from the alcoholic in my life. For me, I started my journey by learning to trust my higher power. I worked with my sponsor and read everything I could on steps 1, 2, and 3. And then spent alot of time meditating on what I had read and talking with my sponsor and asking God for help. Slowly the trust came to me.
One day, I found myself in a frightening situation. Instead of panicking, I asked my higher power to help and I trusted that he would. And he did. And I calmly walked my way thru my difficulty, asking for help each step of the way. Not only did I learn to trust my higher power, I began to learn to trust myself. I had been so untrusting of myself that I felt I wasn't even worthy to have my higher power help me. When I let my higher power in, I began to realize that I was worthy and that I can trust myself, especially when I ask my higher power to take each step with me. And then I began to realize that I could trust my own judgements well enough that I could begin to trust another person. And again, I brought my fears and asking for help to my higher power for trust...first, in my higher power, next in myself, and finally in another person. It was a wonderful, painful, loving journey made only with the help of the god of my understanding whom I found through this program.
Good luck on your journey.
Love and peace in the program,
Joan
abbyal said
May 18, 2005
Hello Samena , the only advice I have is if your not already going to Al-Anon meetings start now. Your life has been affected by alcoholism and it leaves alot of nasty stuff behind, which we tend to carry into al of our relationships. Like u said the problem is yours Al-Anon will help u with that . wil build your self esteem and self worth and give u the courage u need to trust again.
It dosen't matter if you no longer live with an A, what matters is that you have lived with and loved an alcohoic those are the only requirements for al anon membership. good luck Louise
Hi everyone, I left my marriage of 10 years to an A last year and I am finding it very difficult to trust another person. I am always questioning their motives and their whereabouts, that it is just driving me insane. So much so, that I am having nightmares of being betrayed again! I know it is not the other person and that it is me and MY issues, but how do I let go of my fear to not be betrayed again and learn to trust? My marriage was a total emotional rollercoaster, found out stuff that I never ever knew or maybe didn't want to know and now I have to sort it all out for my own sanity. But trying to sort it out is just so difficult that I become obsessive with my lack of trust. AAAGGGHHH! Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated.
Thanks for listening- Samena
Hi Samena,
I had a very hard time learning to trust again after my divorce from the alcoholic in my life. For me, I started my journey by learning to trust my higher power. I worked with my sponsor and read everything I could on steps 1, 2, and 3. And then spent alot of time meditating on what I had read and talking with my sponsor and asking God for help. Slowly the trust came to me.
One day, I found myself in a frightening situation. Instead of panicking, I asked my higher power to help and I trusted that he would. And he did. And I calmly walked my way thru my difficulty, asking for help each step of the way. Not only did I learn to trust my higher power, I began to learn to trust myself. I had been so untrusting of myself that I felt I wasn't even worthy to have my higher power help me. When I let my higher power in, I began to realize that I was worthy and that I can trust myself, especially when I ask my higher power to take each step with me. And then I began to realize that I could trust my own judgements well enough that I could begin to trust another person. And again, I brought my fears and asking for help to my higher power for trust...first, in my higher power, next in myself, and finally in another person. It was a wonderful, painful, loving journey made only with the help of the god of my understanding whom I found through this program.
Good luck on your journey.
Love and peace in the program,
Joan
Hello Samena , the only advice I have is if your not already going to Al-Anon meetings start now. Your life has been affected by alcoholism and it leaves alot of nasty stuff behind, which we tend to carry into al of our relationships. Like u said the problem is yours Al-Anon will help u with that . wil build your self esteem and self worth and give u the courage u need to trust again.
It dosen't matter if you no longer live with an A, what matters is that you have lived with and loved an alcohoic those are the only requirements for al anon membership. good luck Louise