I left my husband 12 days ago and am living in a local hotel
I like not having to deal with my A's drunken behaviour.
I like relaxing and not having the high speed interented cut off on a whim
I don't miss living in the insanity at all.
My husband: scared sober. He wasn't at first, he drank harder. then when he saw my paycheck not hitting his account he drank all weekend. Now he is not drinking. But he has stopped drinking before only to start again. Not really sober I guess, just not drinking
I had a barbeque with him last evening at our home and it was nice.
I can see that I have choices to make. Alanon taught me that and Oh so much more
Thank-you alanon and thanks to all of you on this board for your support through a very difficult time in my life
megan
Jeannie said
May 18, 2005
(((Megan)))
Glad to hear you are doing well and relaxing, taking care of you.
Yes you do have decisions to make, but you have time, you don't need to make them today, or even tomorrow.
Hopefully your husband has been scared sober, but it is early to tell. Keep looking after you. Trust that whatever you do decide will be the right decision.
You are in my prayers.
Love Jeannie
nycbt said
May 18, 2005
Hi Girl
I am so proud of you. You have come a very long way. It is going to be hard but you will be able to make it.
Becky
jj said
May 18, 2005
(((((((Megan))))))))))
You sound great! I agree with what the others say!! Trust in time and when you are ready you wiil know it!
JJ
megan said
May 18, 2005
My A is most concerned about the money drain
He thinks I should spend ALOT of time with him to get better
I did this for years and he only got worse
The time spent pursuing my own interests are a problem
I was a recluse for years and he still drank
He will do it on his own without AA
last time he did it on his own he relasped quick. The 5 months last year were truly a Godsend
He will do it to lose 30 pounds.
I have heard this so many times I want to puke
been there, done that to it all....
he is not drinking for 3 days now but he is not sober either....
bcanuck said
May 18, 2005
Hi Megan,
Thanks for the update. I agree with Jeannie, you don't have to rush into any decision. You are fortunate to have the choice, as that is not always the case with some.
"scared sober" or just can't afford the booze now that you've cut off the money line? That's the only thing that slows my hubby down, when the bank machine says "no more" he cuts back until payday.
Good luck to you and keep the updates coming.
Bonnie
megan said
May 19, 2005
Hi Bonnie
scared sober" or just can't afford the booze now that you've cut off the money line? That's the only thing that slows my hubby down, when the bank machine says "no more" he cuts back until payday.
My husband does not have a payday. He was fired 3 years ago. then he started his own business and did well for 1 1/2 years. For the last year he has not worked at all.
We have plenty of money in the bank from the sale of our house so I guess he will drink through that.
i met him yesterday for lunch and he offerred to buy me an expensive mountain bike that I covet if I move back in.
I explained that my moving out was not for bargaining to get a bike but an absolute inability to live like I was living.
And thank you Jeanne and all, yes I don't have to make any decisions right away....
nycbt said
May 19, 2005
Hi again
I am glad to see that you didn't give into him and move back in. Do it when you are ready too not that he is trying to get you too.
I left my husband 12 days ago and am living in a local hotel
I like not having to deal with my A's drunken behaviour.
I like relaxing and not having the high speed interented cut off on a whim
I don't miss living in the insanity at all.
My husband: scared sober. He wasn't at first, he drank harder. then when he saw my paycheck not hitting his account he drank all weekend. Now he is not drinking. But he has stopped drinking before only to start again. Not really sober I guess, just not drinking
I had a barbeque with him last evening at our home and it was nice.
I can see that I have choices to make. Alanon taught me that and Oh so much more
Thank-you alanon and thanks to all of you on this board for your support through a very difficult time in my life
megan
(((Megan)))
Glad to hear you are doing well and relaxing, taking care of you.
Yes you do have decisions to make, but you have time, you don't need to make them today, or even tomorrow.
Hopefully your husband has been scared sober, but it is early to tell. Keep looking after you. Trust that whatever you do decide will be the right decision.
You are in my prayers.
Love Jeannie
Hi Girl
I am so proud of you. You have come a very long way. It is going to be hard but you will be able to make it.
Becky
(((((((Megan))))))))))
You sound great! I agree with what the others say!! Trust in time and when you are ready you wiil know it!
JJ
My A is most concerned about the money drain
He thinks I should spend ALOT of time with him to get better
I did this for years and he only got worse
The time spent pursuing my own interests are a problem
I was a recluse for years and he still drank
He will do it on his own without AA
last time he did it on his own he relasped quick. The 5 months last year were truly a Godsend
He will do it to lose 30 pounds.
I have heard this so many times I want to puke
been there, done that to it all....
he is not drinking for 3 days now but he is not sober either....
Hi Megan,
Thanks for the update. I agree with Jeannie, you don't have to rush into any decision. You are fortunate to have the choice, as that is not always the case with some.
"scared sober" or just can't afford the booze now that you've cut off the money line? That's the only thing that slows my hubby down, when the bank machine says "no more" he cuts back until payday.
Good luck to you and keep the updates coming.
Bonnie
Hi Bonnie
scared sober" or just can't afford the booze now that you've cut off the money line? That's the only thing that slows my hubby down, when the bank machine says "no more" he cuts back until payday.
My husband does not have a payday. He was fired 3 years ago. then he started his own business and did well for 1 1/2 years. For the last year he has not worked at all.
We have plenty of money in the bank from the sale of our house so I guess he will drink through that.
i met him yesterday for lunch and he offerred to buy me an expensive mountain bike that I covet if I move back in.
I explained that my moving out was not for bargaining to get a bike but an absolute inability to live like I was living.
And thank you Jeanne and all, yes I don't have to make any decisions right away....
Hi again
I am glad to see that you didn't give into him and move back in. Do it when you are ready too not that he is trying to get you too.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/s-h-a-r-e/
Here is a site for you to express some more of your feeling it is an Alanon site.
Becky